Meat Puns
1. I relish a good hot dog pun.
2. What do you call a cow who works as a comedian? A punny cow.
3. Why did the steak go to comedy school? To become a pun master.
4. Why was the sausage so funny? It was a real cut up.
5. What do you call a chicken who does stand up comedy? A poultry in motion.
6. What do you call a comedy show starring farm animals? A pun too far.
7. Did you hear about the new bacon pun? It’s totally cured!
8. What did the chicken say to the cow who told a bad joke? That pun was fowl.
9. Why did the chicken cross the comedy club? To get to the other pun.
10. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo!
11. What do you call a cow who tells dad jokes? A pun bull.
12. Why did the cow become a comedian? It had a flair for puns.
13. Where do cows go for entertainment? The moovies.
14. What do you call a funny chicken? A comedi-hen.
15. Why don’t cows tell food jokes? Because they like corn.
16. What do you call a yolk that makes you laugh? An eggcellent pun.
17. Why did the turkey cross the comedy club? To get to the other pun.
18. What kind of jokes do chickens tell? Corny ones.
19. Why did the bacon go to comedy school? To become a slice of laughs.
20. What do you call a cow that tells funny stories? A tailing bull.
Meat One-Liners
21. I relish a good hot dog joke.
22. Steak puns are a rare medium well done.
23. Bacon really brings home the bacon when it comes to comedy.
24. Comedy is no joke for cows trying to meat expectations.
25. Chicken comedians don’t just wing it.
26. Hot dogs have a flair for the punny side of comedy.
27. Hamburger comedians bring the beef when it comes to laughs.
28. Lamb comedy ain’t baaad at all.
29. Dairy cows really milk their comedy material.
30. Pork comedy is the chops.
31. Turkey comedians don’t chicken out when it comes to laughs.
32. Sausage comedians have a link to funny material.
33. Steak out a comedy club if you like meaty laughs.
34. Comedy clubs are a choice cut above for meat puns.
35. Butcher some new jokes if the old ones are past their prime.
36. Comedy is no picnic, ham it up on stage.
37. Meatpacking plants pack in the laughs.
38. Quality prime rib tickles the funny bone.
Best Meat Jokes
39. Why did the butcher become a comedian? He wanted to meat his fans.
A local butcher decided to pursue his dream of becoming a stand-up comedian. After years honing his comedy skills, he built up a solid fanbase who would come see his shows every weekend. His signature style blended funny stories from his years as a butcher with hilarious takes on married life. Though the butcher loved making quality meats, making people laugh brought him even more joy.
40. How do you make a chicken laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
One day a farmer decided to try to make his chickens laugh. He went up to one chicken and said “Knock knock” to which the chicken just stared blankly. “Who’s there?” said the chicken finally. The farmer replied “Boo.” The chicken looked confused. The farmer said “Don’t you get it? Boo…Boo…because chickens go boo boo boo!” The chicken didn’t react. The farmer sighed and walked away defeated. He realized the only way to make a chicken laugh is to physically tickle its funny bone. And with chickens, that’s no laughing matter.
41. Why did the cow go on stage? To meat her adoring fans.
Bessie the cow had become an internet sensation after a video of her playing a harmonica went viral. At first shy, Bessie was encouraged by all the positive comments to pursue her musical talents. Soon she started booking small venues to perform her silly songs on stage. Each show sold out as more adoring fans flocked to see the harmonica playing cow. Emir Cowtchella festival even invited Bessie to perform in front of 50,000 cheering animals. As she walked on stage, she was happy she had finally achieved her dream to meat so many fans.
42. What do you call a cow who does comedy? A punny cow.
Clara was a Holstein cow who lived on a small dairy farm. She had a quirky sense of humor and liked to make the other cows laugh by telling silly jokes and puns. Whenever farmer John came to milk Clara he could hear her muttering under her breath, “Don’t have a cow man!” and chuckling to herself. The other cows would roll their eyes but Clara didn’t care – she thought her jokes were amoosing. Her goofy personality made her stand out from the herd. Clara’s dream was to one day be a comedi-cow.
43. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the comedy club.
Maurice was a chicken who dreamed of being a stand-up comedian. He practiced his jokes and routines every day on the other chickens in the coop, perfecting his timing and delivery. He had all the chickens clucking with laughter. But Maurice knew he had to get on a real comedy stage to make it big. So one night, Maurice decided to cross the busy road to try out at the comedy club down the street. With his best material in tow, Maurice walked into the club ready to knock em’ dead and prove chickens have comedic chops too. The crowd loved his act and Maurice became a regular headliner at The Hen House Comedy Club.
44. Why don’t cows tell food jokes? Because they like corn.
Two cows were hanging out in the field trading jokes. One cow said “Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!” The other cow chuckled politely. “Here’s another Halloween one – why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten!” The second cow nodded. “Your turn,” said the first cow. “Okay, how about this one – What food is hard to eat on cob? Carrages!” The cows stared blankly. “Get it? Corn on the cob?” said the second cow. The first cow shook her head slowly. “Yeah, I don’t really get food jokes either. I’d much rather eat corn than joke about it!” The second cow nodded in agreement. Food for thought.
45. Why did the chicken cross the comedy club? To get to the other pun.
Maurice the chicken had just finished doing his stand-up routine at Laughing Hen Comedy Club, and the audience was going wild. Maurice stepped off stage and headed for the back door, his big chicken feet stepping over wires and equipment. As he reached the alley behind the club he looked both ways before crossing the road. Maurice saw the Bright Side Comedy Club’s flashing neon sign and stopped in the middle of the street. He couldn’t resist the chance to try out more new material. Glancing around quickly Maurice made a break for it, scurrying across the street. He had a whole new audience waiting to hear his hilarious chicken puns on the other side.
46. Why did the cow tell so many jokes? It had a flair for puns.
Betsy was a happy-go-lucky cow who loved to tell silly jokes and puns. Whenever farmer John came to milk her, she’d be smiling ear to ear waiting with a new joke. “What do you call a funny cow? Laughin’ stock!” John would chuckle politely while hooking up the milking machine. Next morning Betsy would ruminate on more cow jokes all night. “Where do cows get together and tell jokes? The moo-seum!” she’d say proudly. Her tail wagging with joy when the farmer laughed. Betsy’s corny puns and knock-knock jokes were moo-velous. She had a real flair for comedy and hoped to be a pun-tastic bovine comedian someday.
47. Why did the steak go to comedy school? To become a pun master.
Most steaks are content with being cooked medium rare and served with a nice dinner salad. But one plucky ribeye steak named Rick had dreams of making it big doing stand-up comedy. He knew he was different from the other steaks when he laughed while the butcher seasoned him with salt and pepper. Once packaged at the grocery store, Rick developed his comedy routine whispering jokes to himself for hours in the cold fridge case. Finally purchased, Rick was prepared for his big break when the man grilling him flipped him over. In that sizzling hot moment, Rick seized his chance and rattled off his best steak material. Though cooked well-done, Rick realized his dreams and became a legend – a rare pun master.
48. Where do cows go for entertainment? The moo-vies.
The cows were so excited because Farmer Joe said he had a surprise for them after milking today. Once they were all back in the pasture, Farmer Joe opened the barn doors to reveal…a big screen TV and DVD player! The cows moo’d with joy as Farmer Joe put on a comedy movie and they all settled in the grass to watch. These cows were so sick of the same dull fields day after day. Now whenever they had downtime between grazing and milking, they could watch the moo-vies! Fast Times at Cow-mont High School was an instant classic. The grass is always greener through a flatscreen TV.
49. What do you call a cow who tells funny stories? A tailing bull.
Farmer John had a bull named Chuck on his cattle farm. Unlike most bulls who were fairly stern and stoic, Chuck loved to tell exagerrated stories and funny jokes to get all the cows laughing. Whenever Chuck was waiting to get milked, he would start up chatting with the Holsteins and Jerseys, “Did I ever tell you ladies about the time I single-handedly defeated a pack of coyotes?” The cows would moo excitedly urging him to tell the embellished tale. “They were no match for my brute strength and razor sharp horns!” Chuck would say proudly. The cows loved his silly stories and started calling Chuck quite the tailing bull.
50. Why couldn’t the steak become a comedian? They kept giving him the cold shoulder!
Harry was an ambitious ribeye steak who dreamed of becoming a stand-up comedian. He figured laughter was the best spice. So Harry practiced his routine every night in the fridge, honing his jokes beside the Aunt Jemima and soy sauce. But whenever Harry pitched his material, he got the cold shoulder from agents and clubs. They slammed the door on his comedy career at every turn. Harry wasn’t sure if it was stage fright or just frosty reception, but he was freezer burned out. Still, he hoped one day audiences would warm up to his meaty humor and give him the rare laughs he desired. Harry knew deep down comedy was his calling and kept trying to meat his goals.
Meat Puns
51. What do you call a cow who works as a comedian? A punny cow.
52. Why couldn’t the hamburger afford comedy school? It was dead broke.
53. Why do cows make great comedians? Because they like to milk the laughter.
54. What did the chicken say to the steak who told a bad joke? That pun was not well done.
55. How do you fix a broken cheeseburger joke? With pun-ades and laughter.
56. What did the hot dog say to the sausage who told a bad joke? That pun was the wurst.
57. Why couldn’t the bacon focus on his comedy routine? He kept getting side tracked.
58. Why did the butcher become a comedian? He wanted to meat his fans.
59. What do you call a cow comedian? Punny bull.
60. Why don’t cows tell food jokes? Because they like corn.
Meat One-Liners
61. Comedy is always better with pun in hand.
62. They say laughter is the best medicine, unless you have a meat allergy.
63. Meat packing plants really pack in the laughs.
64. Butcher some new jokes if the old ones are past their prime.
65. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? See, now that’s comedy!
66. What do cows dance to? Meat-mixes.
67. How do cows get to the movie theater? They meatro.
68. Free comedy is always choice grade laughs.
69. Comedy clubs should offer steak knives for great puns.
70. Meat comedians always bring home the bacon.
Best Meat Jokes
71. Why did the chicken cross the comedy club? To get to the other pun.
Maurice was a chicken who dreamed of being a stand-up comedian. He practiced his jokes and routines every day on the other chickens in the coop, perfecting his timing and delivery. He had all the chickens clucking with laughter. But Maurice knew he had to get on a real comedy stage to make it big. So one night, Maurice decided to cross the busy road to try out at the comedy club down the street. With his best material in tow, Maurice walked into the club ready to knock em’ dead and prove chickens have comedic chops too. The crowd loved his act and Maurice became a regular headliner at The Hen House Comedy Club.
72. How do you make a chicken laugh? Tickle its funny bone!
Farmer Ted was cleaning out the hen house when he heard weird laughing noises coming from the chicken coop. He walked over to investigate and saw one chicken named Chuckles on the ground squealing with delight. The farmer realized Chuckles’ funny bone was exposed as she rolled around in the dirt. He reached down and gave it a gentle tickle, making Chuckles laugh even harder and flap her wings. Soon all the other chickens wanted in on the fun! Ted spent the rest of the day tickling funny chicken bones, smiling as joyful clucks filled the coop. Laughter really is the best medicine, even for chickens!
73. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
Sammy the egg loved nothing more than telling silly jokes and puns. He’d sit in the carton at the grocery store for hours, waiting to be purchased so he could try out his comedy routine. One day a woman picked up the carton and Sammy saw his chance. As she drove home, he shouted “What do you call a funny egg? Egg-cellent!” The eggs around him groaned. “Egg jokes again, Sammy?” said one. “You really crack us up.” Another egg piped up “Yeah, your jokes are pretty cheesy!” Sammy shrugged it off. He knew they were just jealous of his sunny sense of humor.
74. What did the egg say to the roast beef performing at the comedy club? You’re pretty rare!
It was comedy open mic night at the Good Yolk Cafe and the lineup was full of unusual acts. The egg sat in the audience cracking up as the roast beef took the stage. “My dating life is pretty medium rare these days,” he said in a juicy tone. The egg thought the quip was a bit undercooked but laughter filled the cafe. At the end of the set, the egg congratulated the roast beef. “You were pretty rare up there!” The roast beef smiled proudly at getting such a well-done compliment from his comedic peer. Though from different food groups, the two had mutual respect for each other’s comedy chops.
75. Why did the cows return to the comedy club? They liked the atmosphere.
Every Wednesday night, the cows would head over to The Loft Comedy Club to watch the show. They loved sipping grass-tinis and laughing along to the farm animal comedians on stage
