Battery Puns 1. I was going to tell a joke about alkaline batteries, but I didn’t want to be too basic. 2. I entered my battery collection into a competition, but it didn’t win any awards. I guess it just wasn’t nobel enough. 3. Did you hear about the battery that was feeling a bit …
Michelle Wilson
Receipt Puns 1. I was going to make a joke about receipts, but the cashier said I should keep the change. 2. The receipt was so long, it was a re-sequel. 3. I asked for the receipt but all they gave me was re-ceipt silence. 4. The impatient customer grabbed the receipt before the cashier …
Bowl Puns What do you call a psychic little bowl? A small medium at large. Why can’t bowls play tennis? Because they can never get their serve in. I entered my bowl in a race once. It was disqualified for doping. My bowl collection is getting out of control. It’s spiraling out of bowl-ance. What …
Album Puns 1. I heard Taylor Swift is coming out with a new album about archery. It’s going to be called Bows and Arrows. 2. Why can’t albums get jobs? They have no skills. 3. What do you call an album that skips? A CD player with touring issues. 4. The rock band decided not …
Razor Puns 1. I was going to make a joke about razors, but it was too edgy. 2. That new razor ad campaign really struck a cord with me. Get it? Cord? 3. My friend was bragging about his fancy new razor, but I cut him down to size. 4. I entered my razor in …
Gift Bag Puns 1. I bought my friend a gift bag covered in pictures of clocks. It was very timely. 2. My gift bag ripped open and spilled everything inside. It was truly a gift bag fail. 3. I was feeling crafty so I made a gift bag out of old maps. You could say …
Food Puns (20) What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable. A steak pun is a rare medium well done. What do you call a dog that eats fast food? A hot dog. What do you call an apology written in sauce? Re-gravy. What …
Folder Puns I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a joke about folders, but he said he already redditt. My friend was bragging that he organized all his folders perfectly. I told him not to get so file proud. I entered a competition for the most organized folders. I placed in the top …
Curtains Puns 1. I was feeling drafty so I installed some new curtains. You could say I got a little window treatment. 2. My friend bought some floral print curtains. I told him they look a little sheers. 3. I heard about a guy who got injured installing curtains. The police are currently blindsiding him …
Flashlight Puns What do you call a flashlight that stops working? A pass-light. Why can’t you tell a joke to a flashlight? It might brighten up for a second, but it will never crack a smile. My flashlight told me it was going on a diet. It said it wanted to lose a few lumens. …
