Hairline Puns (15)
1. I asked my barber for a hairline like Lebron James. He said, “Sorry, I don’t do transplants.”
2. My friend got a hair tattoo to fix his receding hairline. Now he has a head full of hare.
3. I heard NASA is studying the trajectory of my friend’s receding hairline. They want to know the escape velocity.
4. I used to make fun of my dad’s hairline. But karma is a witch, and now I’m the balding one.
5. I was trying to read my friend’s mind, but his receding hairline was too distracting.
6. Don’t trust a man with an immaculate hairline in his 40s. He’s either lying or a vampire.
7. My barber offered to push back my hairline so I’d look younger. I declined because I’m not ready to go back in time.
8. I asked my barber to give me that George Jefferson hairline. He said “Move it on up? You got it.”
9. My friend got hair plugs to fix his receding hairline. Now he looks like a Chia Pet.
10. I told my barber, “Give me that M shape hairline.” He said, “You mean like McDonald’s? I got you.”
11. I wanted an edgy hairstyle, but the barber misunderstood and just pushed back my hairline.
12. I told my barber to line up my hairline straight like the edge of a cliff. Gravity took it from there.
13. My barber offered me the “Lego head special” – snap on hair for my receding hairline.
14. I asked for the Vegeta hairline. The barber drew it way back. Over 9000!
15. My barber pushed my hairline so far back, it came out the other side as a combover.
Hairline One-Liners (15)
16. My hairline is running away from my face faster than I run on the treadmill.
17. My hairline said “see ya later” before the rest of my hair even had a chance to say goodbye.
18. My hairline receded so quickly, there was a sonic boom.
19. My hairline is social distancing from the rest of my hair.
20. My hairline tried to pull off a heist by sneaking out the back exit.
21. My hairline is achieving its life long dream of traveling the world.
22. My hairline took one look in the mirror and decided it was time to fly south for the winter.
23. My hairline said “bye Felicia” and dipped out real quick.
24. My hairline fled the crime scene before the rest of my hair even realized what happened.
25. My hairline ran off into the sunset while my hair waved goodbye through tears.
26. My hairline receded faster than a shoreline during high tide.
27. My hairline is running the 100 meter backwards dash.
28. My hairline got tired of the daily grind and decided to work remotely.
29. My hairline pulled off a Houdini and disappeared in the blink of an eye.
30. My hairline went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back.
Best Hairline Jokes (25)
31. I finally confronted my barber about pushing back my hairline too far. He said, “My bad, I thought that was your fivehead.”
32. My friend tried combing his hair over his bald spot. Now he looks like he’s wearing a beret made of hair.
33. My dad tried to hide his receding hairline by growing out the sides. Now he looks like Friar Tuck.
34. My uncle got so desperate about his thinning hairline, he started spraying paint on his scalp. He was arrested for impersonating a spray tan booth.
35. I told my wife I was going bald. She said, “No you’re not, it’s just your big brain pushing your hair out.” Sweet lie, but I still caught her googling hair loss cures.
36. My grandpa tried to hide his bald spot by combing the remaining hair over it. He looked like he had a furry octopus stuck to his head.
37. I asked my girlfriend if she would still date me if I went bald. She said, “Of course, your hairline already left and I’m still here.” Ouch.
38. I used to make fun of my dad’s bald spot until I started seeing baby 3D prints of it popping up on my own head.
39. My uncle got a tattoo of hair follicles on his bald head. From a distance it looks like he has a buzz cut, but up close it’s a buzz kill.
40. My grandpa’s bald spot grew so big we used it as a skylight in the living room to save on electricity.
41. I tried to stop my hair from receding, but it was a fruitless effort – I was already at my bald wits’ end.
42. I wanted to get one of those surgically implanted hair units but couldn’t afford it, so I just Sharpied a chin strap beard and mutton chops on my bald head instead.
43. My bald spot grew so big I started renting it out as an ad space to local businesses. I call it my billboard head.
44. I tried to make the best of my widening bald spot by drawing a happy face on the back of my head. Now it smiles at people when I walk away.
45. I tried to distract from my receding hairline by getting my eyebrows waxed into bold shapes. Now people compliment me for my “fierce” monobrow.
46. I pranked my bald friend by headlight shining his bare scalp from a distance. He chased me for miles trying to blind the “UFO.”
47. My grandpa’s chrome dome shone so bright, we’d put snacks on it to heat up in the sun. His bald spot doubles as a solar oven.
48. To mess with balding men, I give their heads a vigorous rub for “good luck.” They get so upset about me waxing their domes.
49. I made an baldness potion by boiling hairballs from my shower drain. My friend drank it and instantly sprouted back fur like a werewolf.
50. I stuck googly eyes and a fake mustache on my bald friend’s shiny head when he fell asleep. He pranced around with his disguise for hours before noticing.
51. To tease my balding dad, I Sharpied a face on the back of his head and drew a thought bubble saying “I wish I had hair.”
52. I enter my bald friend in turtle waxing competitions. He hates it but his gleaming head always wins first place.
53. For April Fool’s I used my bald friend’s shining head to reflect sunlight and rickroll people from across the street.
54. My bald friend loves sunbathing shirtless. Tan lines form on his body but his polished head stays pale as the moon.
55. I pranked my bald dad by wizard gluing a squirrel tail to his bare scalp. He chased it in circles before realizing it was attached.
