Door Puns
1. I wanted to go to the party but the host kept me in the doorway.
2. I heard a knock at the door so I opened it. No one was there except a little quiche on the floor with a note saying “Lettuce in.”
3. What do you call someone who is constantly opening and closing the door? A revolving Dora.
4. Why was the door angry? It was knobbed off.
5. I tried to look through the peephole in my front door but someone had stuck bubblegum in it. I couldn’t see who was at the door, just some blurred figDoor.
6. Why was the front door arrested? It was framed.
7. My doorbell rang but when I opened the door no one was there. Must have been a ding dong ditch.
8. What did the big furry hat say to the door? You go on ahead, I’ll stay here and block the draft.
9. Why did the door get mad? It was tired of being taken for granted.
10. My door told me to change the locks so I said “Are you door-vorcing me?”
11. I ordered a new high tech smart door but when it arrived I realized I’d been hinged.
12. Why was the front door jealous of the back door? Because it was being taken for granted.
13. I tried to sneak out but got busted because the front door ratted me out to my parents.
14. I was about to knock but noticed a sign that said “Beware of the door.”
15. Our front door is getting old and creaky. I think it’s time we re-hinge it.
Door One-liners
16. I was going to tell a knock-knock joke but the door beat me to the punch.
17. They call me the doorman because I’m always holding doors open for people.
18. I tried locking the door but the lock was broken. Talk about an unlocked achievement!
19. Door you want to hear another door joke or have I knocked this out of the park?
20. Don’t worry about locking the door, my guard dog will keep us safe. He’s a locksmith.
21. Be careful when you open the door, you don’t want to pull a hamstring.
22. I was going to tell you a front door joke but it would just go in one ear and out the other.
23. I always knock before entering. I don’t want to be a-door-able.
24. Lock the door on your way out. And make sure it latches; I don’t want anyone just barging in.
25. That salesman knocked on the door for so long, he’s now an expert door-to-door salesman.
26. I’d tell you a joke about a broken door but it just wouldn’t open right.
27. I was going to tell a story about doors but it had too many open endings.
28. Be careful going through that doorway, it has a low lintel.
29. I tried to tell my door a joke but it just wouldn’t crack up.
30. That door is useless. It doesn’t even lock knobperly.
Best Door Jokes
31. I was sitting at home when someone knocked on my door. I opened it and there was a snail sitting there. I picked up the snail and threw him as far as I could. Three years later, there was a knock at my door. I opened it and the same snail was there. The snail looked up at me and said “What the hell was that all about?”
32. My friend was banging on my door, shouting my name. After 10 minutes, I finally opened it and said “What do you want?” He replied “I just wanted to tell you your front door bell doesn’t work!”
33. I told my carpenter I didn’t want just any old door for my house. He told me not to worry because this one would be outstanding in its field.
34. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space to get through the door.
35. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They’d just crack each other up.
36. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
37. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing but de Brie.
38. Two windmills stood on a hill. One asked the other, “What kind of music do you like?” The other replied, “I’m a big metal fan.”
39. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
40. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
41. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain.
42. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.
43. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
44. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
45. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
46. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
47. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that seafood. It gave me crabs.
48. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
49. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.
50. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
51. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
52. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
53. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
54. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
55. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
56. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
57. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that seafood. It gave me crabs.
58. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
59. I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.
60. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
61. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
62. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
63. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
64. I told my contractor I didn’t want just any front door. He told me not to worry – this one would be outstanding in its field.
