Hats Puns (20)
- What do you call a nervous looking hat? A distressed cap!
- Why was the baseball cap sent to prison? It was convicted of robbery!
- My friend got hot under her woolen hat and said, “Whew, this cap is making me sweat!”
- I entered my pet hat in a contest, but it didn’t win first prize. It only got an honorable mention!
- The beanie’s new year’s resolution was to become more relaxed. It wanted to be a chill cap in 2023.
- The top hat greeted the cap saying, “Hello there, it’s nice to meet the top of your head!”
- The cap was feeling lazy so it decided to take a nap. You could say it was a sleeping cap!
- Our team won the baseball game, so we proudly wore our championship caps.
- When the magician couldn’t find his hat, he flipped out. It made him mad as a hatter!
- The absent-minded professor was always losing his cap. He was pretty forgetful when it came to his hat.
- The beanie was feeling crabby and upset. You could say it was having a bad hair cap day.
- On windy days, I wear a cap to keep my hair from getting tousled and messy.
- The cap factory was very productive and made hats around the capclock.
- The greedy cap manufacturer kept raising his capitial and exploiting his workers.
- When the cap flipped over in the dryer, it got very dizzy and disoriented. It didn’t know which way was up!
- Don’t wear that cap if you want to show off your hairdo. It will captainly cover your whole head.
- The model was wearing a stylish cap on the runway. She looked very captivating in that hat!
- Make sure to recap the pen before putting it away so it doesn’t leak ink and make a mess.
- The graduation cap throwing tradition dates back hundreds of years. It’s a capademic ritual!
Hats One-Liners (20)
- I bought a 10-gallon hat…but it only holds 3 gallons.
- My friend’s new hat looked like it had been through the wash – it had really shrunk on him!
- A toupee is a wig you wear on the top of your head to cover up the fact that you’re wearing a wig.
- I was going to wear my new hat to the party, but it gave me quite a headache.
- My friend keeps bragging about his hat collection, I think he’s just trying to get a rise out of me.
- This dunce cap may look silly, but it’s helping me graduate on time!
- I wanted a cowboy hat, but all they had were caps and visors. Yippee ti yay…
- I’d tip my hat to you if I were wearing one.
- My friend bought a ten gallon hat. It holds exactly zero gallons.
- I ordered a sombrero online but when it arrived it was way too small – talk about false advertísment!
- Help! I’m under attack – this hat is trying to swallow my whole head!
- My friend asked to borrow my new cap. I told him, “Sure, you can hat it for a bit.”
- I bought a winter hat online and got it in the mail today. It was knit exactly as described!
- This woolen hat makes my head feel so cozy and warm. I’m really glad I knit it myself!
- I wanted to wear my propeller hat, but airport security said it was too dangerous.
- My friend’s fascinator hat could best be described as… fascinatingly hideous.
- That is one snazzy chapeau you’ve got there – it really suits you!
- I ordered a fruit hat online, but it turned out to be pretty rotten.
- Make sure to wear a helmet, or you might end up with a cracked hat!
- I’d tip my hat to you, if I were actually wearing one right now.
Best Hats Jokes (28)
49. A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a big orange head. He goes up to him and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I just have to know – why is your head so orange?” The man replies, “Well, it’s a bit embarrassing, but I was walking down the beach one day and I found a magic lamp. I rubbed it and a genie popped out, and granted me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked for tremendous wealth, and poof – my bank account was suddenly overflowing. For my second wish, I asked for an incredibly long life. And for my third wish, I asked for an orange for a head.”
50. Bill was struggling to pay his electricity bill, so his friend John bought him a solar-powered hat. It was a very thoughtful gift – the hat was a real power cap!
51. A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for three days, and rides out on Friday again. How is this possible? His horse’s name is Friday!
52. Did you hear about the angry toupee? It flipped its lid!
53. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
54. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
55. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
56. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck!
57. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
58. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
59. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
60. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
61. I went to buy some camouflage pants yesterday but couldn’t find any.
62. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
63. Did you hear about the romantic person that walked into the statue store and bought 2? They bought a lover and a friend.
64. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
65. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels!
66. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
67. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
68. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
69. I entered a competition for most resilient shoes. I was determined to become the hard sole survivor.
70. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
71. My friend got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
72. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
73. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
74. How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it!
75. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
76. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it!
