Hippo Puns
1. What do you call a hippo that does ballet? A hip-hop-potamus!
2. Why don’t hippos like playing cards? Because they always drop their hippo-poker face!
3. What do you call a hippo that works as a police officer? A hip-popotamus!
4. My friend got a job at the zoo feeding the hippos. She says it’s her hippo-cratic oath.
5. I asked the hippo if he wanted to play a board game. He said, “That’s too hippo-critical for me.”
6. What do you call a hippo that does martial arts? A hip-choppotamus!
7. Why are hippos so calm? They’re hip-notized all the time!
8. The hippo got excited when we said we were having a pool party. He’s such a hippo-crite.
9. The hippo entered a pie eating contest. He was hungry for hippo-crisy.
10. Why don’t hippos tell the truth? They take a hippo-critical oath.
Hippo One-Liners
11. I asked the hippo to hang out but he said he was too busy being a hippo-crite.
12. I told the hippo a joke but he didn’t laugh, he has no hippo-crisy.
13. The hippo called in sick to work, what a hippo-crite!
14. The hippo was nosy and started gossiping, what a hippo-crite!
15. The hippo said he was on a diet but then ate a whole cake, what a hippo-crite!
16. The hippo criticized others for being lazy but then took a three hour nap, what a hippo-crite!
17. The hippo said money can’t buy happiness then bought a new car, what a hippo-crite!
18. The hippo told others not to litter but threw his trash on the ground, what a hippo-crite!
19. The hippo was caught cutting in line after telling others not to, what a hippo-crite!
20. The hippo said looks don’t matter but then got plastic surgery, what a hippo-crite!
Best Hippo Jokes
21. A hippo, a zebra and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re all cows, get out!” The hippo says, “Don’t be silly, we’re not cows.” The bartender says, “Sure you are, you’re hippo-crites!”
22. A hippo wants to join a monastery but the head monk says he can’t because he eats meat. The hippo replies “But I thought you were supposed to love all creatures!” The monk says “Yes, but we draw the line at hippo-crites.”
23. What do you call a hippo that flies planes? A hippo-pilot!
24. Why don’t hippos wear shorts? Because they’re hippo-crites!
25. How do you stop a charging hippo? Take away its credit card!
26. A hippo walks into a restaurant and orders a cheeseburger and fries. The waiter brings his food and the hippo scarfs it down. “Would you like anything else?” the waiter asks. “No thanks,” says the hippo, “I’m stuffed!”
27. What did the hippo say when it was kicked out of the restaurant? “But I’m a hippo-crite!”
28. Why don’t hippos live in houses? Because they’re hippo-crites!
29. What do you get if you cross a hippo with a hypocrite? A hippo-crite!
30. Why can’t you play cards with a hippo? Because they’re terrible at bluffing and have no hippo-poker face!
31. How do you fit four hippos in a car? Two in the front seats and two in the back seats!
32. Why don’t hippos wear swimsuits? Because they’re hippo-crites!
