Breakfast Puns
1. I wanted to make pancakes this morning, but I didn’t have the pan-cake mix.
2. My friend got hit in the head with a box of cereal. It was a very cereal injury.
3. I entered my homemade granola bar into a baking contest. It didn’t win any prizes, but it was award-winning.
4. I was going to tell you a joke about an omelet, but it’s eggstremely cheesy.
5. The waffle iron isn’t working this morning. It’s having some technical diffiwaffalties.
6. The farmer Bread Pitt bakes his wheat into bread. It’s his bread and bready.
7. I wanted to make french toast this morning but I’m missing a key ingre-dient.
8. The bacon refuses to get out of bed this morning. I guess it’s feeling a little crispy.
9. I’d make a joke about toast, but it might come across as a little dry.
10. The new diner in town serves eggs exclusively. It specializes in eggcellent breakfasts.
11. The egg salad didn’t want to get dressed because it already comes pre-pared.
12. The chef was surprised when his sous chef cracked under the pressure of making so many omelets.
13. The waffles got into a heated debate this morning. It was very intense griddle talk.
14. The hungry pancake devoured everything on his plate. He had an insatiable flapjack-etite.
Breakfast One-Liners
15. Mornings are rough without my daily bowl of cereal.
16. This coffee tastes like dirt. No wonder it’s ground.
17. Waiter, there’s a hair in my breakfast. Looks like someone got a little too eggcited cracking the eggs.
18. I wanted something light this morning so I ordered an egg white omelet. Ended up with a plate of egg shells instead.
19. Trust me, you do NOT want to see scrambled eggs before they’re cooked.
20. My toast got caught in the toaster again. Seems like it’s always getting itself into a jam.
21. Bacon and eggs? Nah, I had that yesterday. Think I’ll go with eggs and bacon today.
22. This milk smells funny. Uh oh, looks like it’s past-eurize date.
23. I like telling sausage puns, but they always come out as corny jokes.
24. Breakfast? Breakfast? We don’t need no stinking breakfast!
Best Breakfast Jokes
25. I asked the waitress for a waffle. She said, “Belgian or regular?” I said, “Just regular is fine, I’m not that hungry.”
26. My friend got injured while making waffles this morning. A Brussels sprout rolled off the counter and landed right on his foot. Needless to say, he was a little waffle about it afterwards.
27. I walked into the kitchen this morning and said “what’s for breakfast?” My roommate held up two fingers and said “Peace and waffles.”
28. Yesterday I accidentally poured root beer instead of syrup on my pancakes. It was soda pressing.
29. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
30. What do you call an egg who’s afraid of the cracker? A little eggchicken.
31. Why don’t eggs ever tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
32. Want to hear a joke about pancakes? Nevermind, it’s too syrupy.
33. What did the mama egg say to the baby egg? Scramble! Get cracking!
34. Why are spiders so good at cooking breakfast? Because they specialize in making webbacon.
35. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
36. I ordered an omelet in France once. The waiter asked “Omelette du fromage?” I politely responded “Yes, I’ll have an omelette made OF cheese.”
37. How do you make a pancake smile? Butter him up!
38. My friend got hit in the head with a can of soda this morning. He was lucky it was a soft drink.
39. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
40. Why do eggs hate comedy shows? They get easily cracked up.
41. My wife was furious when she found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. But let me tell you, my breakfast has never tasted better!
42. What did the Italian chef say to the boy who wanted pancakes? You want-a pancakes? I make-a you the pancakes but first you gotta tell-a me, whatsa the magic words?
43. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
44. Want to hear a joke about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I’m not telling you, you’ll spread it!
45. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
46. I went to a diner and ordered a clock pancake. It was very time consuming.
47. The angry pancake stormed out of the restaurant, too upset to pay his bill. The cashier called after him “Sir! You have to pay for your flapjack!”
48. Why did the bacon have to quit his job? He was feeling burnt out. Time for a career change!
49. What did the egg say to the boiling water? It’s going to take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning!
50. I spilled spot remover on my dog this morning. Now he’s gone.
51. Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s pretty cheesy.
52. My wife told me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to our baby at breakfast. I said maybe…
53. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!