53 Funny Bird Jokes

Bird Puns (15)

1. What do you call a bird that hangs out at the airport? A terminally ill egret.
2. Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line.
3. I was going to tell a joke about birds, but it’s fowl.
4. What do you call a psychic bird on the run from the law? A wanted clairvoyant.
5. Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin.
6. What happens when a bird crashes into your window? Shattered quack-up.
7. What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.
8. Why don’t birds ever get fat? They burn cawlories!
9. What do you call a line of birds waiting their turn? Pecking order.
10. Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t fly south for the winter? It was grounded.
11. My friend got attacked by a flock of crows. Don’t worry though, he’s fine owl things considered.
12. What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
13. What do you call a bird that sticks to everything? A vel-crow.
14. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
15. How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together!

Bird One-Liners (16)

1. I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
2. I wanted to learn how to catch a really big bird, but it seemed like a tuft ask.
3. My friend got run over by a steamroller, but don’t worry he’s completely flat stanley.
4. I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
5. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
6. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
7. Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
8. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
9. Have you heard about that new broom? It’s sweeping the nation!
10. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
11. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
12. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
13. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
14. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
15. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
16. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.

Best Bird Jokes (22)

1. Why don’t birds fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls!
2. What birds spend all their time on their knees? Birds of prey!
3. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly in groups? Because they would quack each other up!
4. Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t learn how to fly? She was a slow lerner.
5. My friend got into some trouble for stealing a toucan. Now they’re considering two can a crime.
6. Why don’t seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
7. What do you call it when a group of birds flee the coop together? A jailbird break!
8. Why did the police arrest the bird? They thought he was a mockin’ jay!
9. I entered a pun contest about birds, but no pun in ten did.
10. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
11. What musical note do birds hate? Treble!
12. My friend got in trouble for stealing a toucan. Now they’re considering two can a crime.
13. What do you call a flock of birds bailing out of prison together? A jailbird break!
14. Where do birds invest their money? In the stork market!
15. Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words!
16. What do you call a bird that sticks to everything? A vel-crow!
17. What do you call a psychic bird on the run from the law? A wanted clairvoyant!
18. Why did the chicken attend Poultry Anonymous meetings? She wanted to avoid fowl play.
19. How does a bird communicate through email? With their pecker!
20. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
21. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly together in groups? Because they would quack each other up!
22. What’s the best way to communicate with a bird? Use fowl language.
23. Why was the mother bird so tired at the end of the day? Because she had worked hawkward hours!