Mummy Puns What do you call an ancient Egyptian who walks too slow? A mummy shamble. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to relax and unwind. Where do mummies go for a drink? The sahara bar. How do mummies communicate? With crypt-text messages. Why don’t mummies make good lawyers? They have grave cases. What’s …
Steven Davis
Australian Puns 1. What do you call an Australian who loves algebra? An alge-bra. 2. Why don’t Australians like riding bikes? They prefer to walka-bout. 3. What do you call an Australian who works at a steel factory? A metal koala. 4. Why are Australians bad at baseball? They don’t know how to pitch a …
Daylight Savings Puns (15) 1. I’m not a fan of Daylight Savings Time. It really throws me off kilter. 2. My watch gets very confuzzled during Daylight Savings Time. It’s always like, “Wait, what time is it again?” 3. I asked my clock how it felt about Daylight Savings Time ending. It said, “It’s about …
Hippo Puns 1. What do you call a hippo that does ballet? A hip-hop-potamus! 2. Why don’t hippos like playing cards? Because they always drop their hippo-poker face! 3. What do you call a hippo that works as a police officer? A hip-popotamus! 4. My friend got a job at the zoo feeding the hippos. …
Time Puns 1. I tried to explain time travel to my friend, but it went over his head. 2. My watch got mad at me when I said it was behind the times. 3. I entered a contest for watches, but I lost. I guess I didn’t have the time. 4. I was going to …
Rocket Puns I wanted to be an astronaut, but I didn’t have enough space training. My career launch failed to achieve orbit. Elon Musk said he was going to name the first rocket to Mars after me. I replied, “Don’t launch that compliment prematurely.” The rocket scientists prepared for the launch countdown by getting high …
Rat Puns (10) 1. What do you call a rat that eats too much cheese? A curd muncher! 2. Why don’t rats live in the ocean? Because there’s too much water rat-tling around down there! 3. Why did the rat cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken! 4. What do you call a rat …
Tennis Puns 1. I went to watch a tennis match, but it was love-love and I got bored. 2. The tennis player was struggling to reach the balls during the match. He said it was because he racquet skills. 3. My friend kept telling tennis puns that were un-ace-ceptable. 4. I heard two elderly ladies …
Breakfast Puns 1. I wanted to make pancakes this morning, but I didn’t have the pan-cake mix. 2. My friend got hit in the head with a box of cereal. It was a very cereal injury. 3. I entered my homemade granola bar into a baking contest. It didn’t win any prizes, but it was …
Tuesday Puns I heard two days got into a fight. When asked what happened, Tuesday said “It’s Wednesday my dudes!” What do you call it when Tuesday comes before Monday? Pre-mature Weekendation. Why does Tuesday hate the number 2? Because Tuesday is the third day. What do you call a party on Tuesday? A pre-Wednesday …