Rocket Puns
- I wanted to be an astronaut, but I didn’t have enough space training. My career launch failed to achieve orbit.
- Elon Musk said he was going to name the first rocket to Mars after me. I replied, “Don’t launch that compliment prematurely.”
- The rocket scientists prepared for the launch countdown by getting high on weed. You could say they were counting down to blast off.
- My friend got a job at SpaceX but was fired on his first day. I asked what happened and he said, “I guess I didn’t make the proper propellant impressions.”
- I entered a rocket building contest but lost. I had my design down to a science, but couldn’t get it to launch.
- Working at NASA is exhausting. The job has its ups and downs but the workplace is far out.
- The rocket launch was delayed due to a countdown malfunction. You could say it failed to take off because of a miscount.
- Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum before the rocket launch? He got stuck in orbit.
- Our rocket launch startup secured funding from a sneaker company. The boosters are looking great thanks to their sponsorship.
- Living on Mars won’t be so bad. The landscapes will be out of this world even if the atmosphere is a little thin.
Rocket One-Liners
- I wanted to be an astronaut but only made it into orbit once – during my job interview.
- Space travel would be easier if rockets were built with frequent flyer miles.
- Rocket science is not exactly my career launch pad.
- My friend got a job at SpaceX but was fired for making improper rocket fuel puns.
- Don’t tell NASA you love astronomy unless you’re ready for a long-distance relationship.
- Getting a pilot’s license is the first step to becoming a rocketeer.
- Astronauts avoid drinking before a mission – it’s hard to fly straight when you’re spaced out.
- Rocket engineering – helping adventurers boldly go where no one has gone before.
- My rocket design business failed to launch but I remain hopeful it will someday achieve escape velocity.
- Space travel would be easier if wormholes connected your living room to Mars.
Best Rocket Jokes
21. Little Jimmy came running into the house after school one day and said, “Dad, today we learned all about rockets and space travel! The teacher told us that soon there will be rocket ships that can take people to Mars in just a few months.
“Is that so?” replied his dad. “Well, maybe I should sign up to be an astronaut. Then I could get away from your mother for a few months!”
22. During a tour of NASA headquarters, a man had the chance to meet with some of the astronauts there. He wanted to be polite, but couldn’t help staring at the various scrapes and scratches on their faces.
“Excuse me for asking,” he said, “But how did you all get those cuts and bruises on your faces?”
“Well,” said one of the astronauts, “my wife became a little upset with me before my last mission and gave me this scar.” He pointed to a long cut over his right eye.
Another astronaut chimed in, “I got this scar from my wife before going to the moon.” He pointed to a big scratch across his cheek.
The man thought this was amazing that these heroic astronauts would admit to being beaten up by their wives. He turned to the last astronaut and said, “I bet I know how you got that bruise on your lip.”
The astronaut answered, “No, that’s just frost bite.”
23. During a rocket launch, NASA was providing commentary as the craft ascended into the upper atmosphere.
“Altitude 15,000 feet. All systems go.”
“Altitude 20,000 feet. Still looking good.”
“Altitude 25,000 feet. Engines still firing nominally.”
Then there was sudden silence for long seconds. Finally, ground control piped up tentatively, “Spacecraft, please confirm your status.”
After a tense pause, the pilot’s voice crackled over the radio, “Ground control – hold your horses, I’m still here! It takes me longer to get my breath at this altitude.”
24. Little Johnny came home excited after his first day at NASA’s space camp.
“Mommy, today we built a rocket ship, put it on a launching pad, and blasted it thousands of feet into the sky!”
“That’s nice dear,” his mother replied. “So what are you going to do tomorrow?”
Johnny shrugged. “Probably just play catch or something.”
25. Eddie was excited when his parents said they were taking him to see a shuttle launch as a birthday surprise. When the big day came, they drove to Cape Canaveral and took their seats in the grandstands overlooking the launch pad.
As the countdown reached zero, the rockets ignited with a giant roar. But instead of rising into the sky, the shuttle exploded in a massive fireball right on the pad.
Eddie gasped in horror, but after a moment said, “Awesome!”
His parents just stared at him in shock until he added, “…ly bad that something went wrong. What a disappointment.”
26. Why don’t they serve beer on rockets?
Because a drunk astronaut would see the Big Dipper and think someone stole his drinking glass!
27. What do rocket scientists order at restaurants?
Anything, as long as it’s quick!
28. Why do rocket engines come with mufflers?
So they don’t wake the satellites!
29. How does NASA organize their company parties?
They planet!
30. What do you call an astronaut who steps in gum?
A sticky situation!
31. Why don’t aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
32. Where do astronauts leave their spaceships?
At parking meteors!
33. Why did the cow want to go to Mars?
It wanted to be a space cow!
34. How does NASA throw surprise parties?
They planet!
35. What airline do rockets fly?
Skyrocket Airlines!
36. Why don’t aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
37. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
