Tennis Puns
1. I went to watch a tennis match, but it was love-love and I got bored.
2. The tennis player was struggling to reach the balls during the match. He said it was because he racquet skills.
3. My friend kept telling tennis puns that were un-ace-ceptable.
4. I heard two elderly ladies chatting about tennis. It was a nice volley of conversation.
5. I entered a pun contest with jokes about tennis. Despite my efforts, none of them matched point.
6. The tennis player was disappointed when her trophy arrived broken. It was a smashing let down.
7. I played tennis against a guy with dreadlocks. He kept beating me with his rasta shots.
8. The tennis player practiced serving every day but still double faulted during matches. I guess she needed to work on her toss skills.
9. My doctor said all the tennis is negatively affecting my joints. I guess I need to cut back on my racket time.
10. I played tennis with an angry guy once. He had a fierce server and kept screaming “You cannot be net!”
Tennis One-Liners
11. I heard Serena Williams opened a restaurant. It only serves tiny portions though.
12. Venus Williams started a gardening business on the side. She’s really growing her plants.
13. Andre Agassi decided to become a meteorologist after retiring from tennis. I guess he wanted to forecast things other than tennis balls.
14. Rafael Nadal got into politics after retiring from tennis. His campaign slogan was “Love means nothing to me.”
15. Roger Federer became a pilot after retiring from tennis. He loves being called Roger that.
16. Novak Djokovic started breeding rabbits after retiring from tennis. He runs a hop farm now.
17. Maria Sharapova opened a dance studio teaching ballet. She specializes in pliés and pirouettes.
18. Naomi Osaka became a dog walker after retiring from tennis. She gets paid to take pets for runs around the park.
19. Andy Murray decided to become a horse jockey when he stopped playing tennis. He mostly rides ponies though.
20. Sloane Stephens opened up a clock repair shop after retiring from the tennis circuit. Business has been ticking along nicely.
Best Tennis Jokes
21. My friend John loves playing tennis, but he has the worst timing. He always seems to serve up double faults whenever we really need him to ace it.
Last weekend we were locked in a tiebreaker during the championship match. If John could have just landed a few first serves, we would have clinched the title. But he double faulted over and over, costing us the game.
I still gave him kudos for effort afterwards. “Better luck next time!” I said, patting him on the back. John just nodded glumly and said, “I know, my service game is just terrible.”
22. Brad prides himself on being the most competitive tennis player at our club. He gets so intense during matches that his whole face turns bright red. And whenever he loses a point, he angrily smacks his thigh and shouts something like “Fault!” or “Out!”
Last week I was paired against Brad in a tournament. Right off the bat he was grunting loudly and chasing down every ball, desperate to win. At first I managed to keep up. But after an hour of sprinting around in the heat, I was exhausted. Brad, meanwhile, was still going strong.
That’s when I decided if I couldn’t beat Brad’s endurance, I’d have to outsmart him. On the next point, I lightly tapped the ball over the net. Sure enough, Brad sprinted up and smashed it down the line.
“Ace!” I called out.
Brad froze and glared at me. “That wasn’t an ace! You barely hit the ball!”
I just smiled. “Sorry, you’re right. My mistake.”
Brad nodded firmly. “Make sure you get the calls right.”
A few points later, I again floated the ball right over the net. This time Brad leapt up and spiked it into the grass.
“Oops, out!” I shouted.
Brad’s eyes bulged. “What? That was clearly in!”
I put on an innocent face. “Oh sorry, you’re right again. I really need to get my vision checked.”
This continued for the rest of the match. On easy shots, I’d make a bogus call that benefited me. Brad grew more and more furious, but there was nothing he could do since it was just my word against his. In the end, I wound up winning in straight sets.
As we shook hands at the net, Brad grunted, “I would have destroyed you if the linesman wasn’t completely incompetent.”
I just smiled. “You’re probably right. I really need to brush up on my rules knowledge.”
Brad stomped off, muttering under his breath. I’d finally discovered his weakness – outsmarting him was more effective than outplaying him.
23. Sarah and Mike were doubles partners who dreamed of making it big on the pro tennis tour. For months they practiced together every day, determined to win a Grand Slam title.
When the US Open rolled around, Sarah and Mike entered the qualifying tournament full of confidence. They breezed through the first few matches, working seamlessly as a team.
But during the finals, disaster struck. Mike lunged for a shot and badly twisted his ankle. He tried to keep playing, but could barely hobble around the court. Sarah valiantly attempted to pick up Mike’s slack. But they were hopelessly out of sync and lost the match in straight sets.
Sarah was devastated their Grand Slam dreams were crushed. But she gently helped Mike off the court and said, “Don’t worry, partner. We’ll come back stronger next year.”
24. Tammy was the best female tennis player in our city and had won the community singles tournament three years straight. In the latest tournament, she was heavily favored to capture her fourth title.
However, in an astounding upset, Tammy was defeated in the semifinals by a new player named Sally. Tammy had underestimated Sally’s strong forehand and never found her rhythm during the match.
At the trophy presentation, Tammy graciously congratulated Sally on the improbable win. As the runner-up, Tammy was supposed to receive a gift card to a sporting goods store.
But to everyone’s surprise, Tammy declined the gift card and asked the organizers to give it to Sally instead.
“You earned this more than me today,” Tammy said, handing the gift card to a stunned Sally.
It was a poignant display of good sportsmanship, even in defeat.
More Tennis Puns
25. I heard Andre Agassi owns a successful bait and tackle shop now. He sells all the best tennis shoes.
26. Pete Sampras decided to become a pretzel maker after retiring from tennis. He really knotted himself into the new career.
27. John McEnroe opened up an anger management clinic. But he just yells at all the patients.
28. Serena Williams released an autobiography titled “Ace of My Life.” It quickly became a best volley.
29. Roger Federer invested in a fast food chicken franchise. He now owns several Ra-Ra-Roger Roasted restaurants.
30. Novak Djokovic decided to become a dentist after retiring from tennis. Turns out he excels at filling cavities.
31. Chris Evert opened up a dating service for tennis players. It specializes in matchmaking for love.
32. Andy Roddick got really into numerology after his tennis career ended. He charges $30 for tennis lessons now.
Additional Tennis One-Liners
33. Rafael Nadal loved sailing so much that he bought his own boat for retirement. He named it “Net Gain.”
34. Venus Williams became an excellent gardener. She can grow anything, especially grand plants.
35. Andre Agassi decided to get into the greeting card business. He’s great at penning tennis puns.
36. Serena Williams really improved her baking skills after tennis. She’s known for her perfect little bagels.
37. Pete Sampras wanted to keep fit in retirement, so he took up croquet. He uses his old tennis racquet though.
38. Roger Federer got bored of regular golf so he took up foot golf instead. It combines his interests.
Tennis Short Jokes
39. Monica loved tennis but struggled with her serve. She’d always hit the ball into the net or far outside the service box. We spent hours together working on technique – adjusting her grip, stance, and toss. Finally, after a month of practice, Monica started consistently landing her serves. We were both thrilled! Now if only I could fix the rest of her game…
40. Andrew shouted with joy as the tennis ball sailed over the net for a winner. “Did you see that shot?!” he exclaimed. His friend Hassan frowned and said, “That wasn’t even in. You have to hit the ball between the lines for it to count.” Andrew’s face fell as he realized his victory was short-lived. “Oh right,” he mumbled, “I always forget the rules…”
41. When Mike walked onto the tennis court, he was surprised to see the net sagging badly in the middle. He called over the referee and asked “Can you tighten the net before we start our match? It’s really loose out here.” The referee shook his head apologethetically and said “Sorry, but we don’t have the proper equipment to fix it. You’ll just have to play around the saggy parts.” Mike sighed, knowing this match was going to be anything but smooth sailing.
42. Brenda leapt across the tennis court, arm outstretched, as the ball whizzed past her. She managed to graze it with her racquet strings before crashing to the ground. “Got it!” she yelled triumphantly from the clay. Her opponent Alicia laughed and said “Nice hustle, but that totally bounced twice before you reached it. No point awarded!” Brenda cursed under her breath, realizing her epic dive was all for naught. But at least the grass stains gave her effort an A for style.
43. When Cassie walked onto the tennis court, she was surprised to see her opponent Gregg was barefoot instead of wearing the proper footwear. She looked down skeptically at his naked feet and said “Aren’t you going to wear tennis shoes to play? You could hurt yourself without them.” Gregg shrugged and replied “Nah, I like feeling the court under my bare feet.” Cassie just shook her head, already predicting a twisted ankle in his future.
44. Wyatt was new to tennis and extremely nervous for his first match. As he attempted to serve, he wildly swung at the ball while it was still on the toss. He missed completely and the ball simply rolled over the net for an anticlimactic point. His opponent stifled a laugh and called out “Take it easy, you gotta let the ball bounce before you hit it!” Wyatt grimaced, realizing this day was going to be a long learning process. But at least now he understood why the score was love-15.
Best Tennis Jokes
45. Nathan was down match point in the city tennis championship, and desperation had set in. On the serve, he jumped upwards and swung with all his might. There was a loud POP and suddenly his racquet went flying out of his hand. Nathan watched in horror as it sailed over the fence and directly into the neighboring yard’s pool. His dreams of victory now floated next to a lone beach ball.
46. Amber considered herself the queen of the local tennis courts and was annoyed when a new girl named Rachel challenged her to a match. Amber quickly jumped ahead 5-1 and was serving for the set. But she got cocky and tried unsuccessfully for several match point aces. Rachel took advantage of the errors and battled back to even the score at 5-5. Now humbled, Amber refocused and squeaked out a close 7-5 win. She learned not to underestimate new competitors, no matter how strong her forehand was.
47. Steve was thrilled when the cute girl Emily agreed to a first tennis date. He borrowed a friend’s expensive racquet and new balls to impress her. But after an hour of play, Steve hadn’t even touched the ball once. Each of Emily’s powerful serves flew past him for a blistering ace. By the end, Steve’s self-esteem was battered and bruised. Next time, he realized, he should make the date something less emasculating. Like miniature golf.
48. Olivia’s tennis teammates were annoyed by her constant complaining during practice. Every time she missed a shot, she’d yell “This court is so bumpy!” or “The sun was in my eyes!” After a particularly egregious gripe, her teammate Carlos finally snapped back “Hey, stop making excuses and take responsibility for your bad shots.” Olivia frowned defensively, but then nodded. She realized if she wanted to improve, she’d have to own her mistakes instead of blaming everything else.
Additional Tennis Jokes
49. Tyler considered himself the king of the local tennis courts. He’d easily defeat anyone who challenged him in his age bracket. One day, a middle-aged man named Richard asked to play a friendly match. Tyler smirked confidently and said “Sure, but I gotta warn you, I rule these courts!”
Richard just smiled and replied, “We’ll see about that.” Despite Tyler’s best efforts to crush him, Richard returned every shot with ease. In the end, Richard won 6-1 without even breaking a sweat. Tyler’s ego was smashed more painfully than any tennis ball.
50. Maggie and Brianna were co-captains of the tennis team with a fierce rivalry. During practices, they’d drive each other to exhaustion trying to prove who was better. One day, Maggie tripped over a ball and badly sprained her ankle. Brianna rushed to help her up and get ice. She realized their petty competition wasn’t worth losing a friendship or teammate over. From then on, they channeled their energy into supporting each other instead of one-upmanship.
51. Ryan’s tennis instructor Andrew had an odd teaching method – he’d shout a random word or phrase each time Ryan swung at a ball. Cursing under his breath, Ryan did his best to tune out the bizarre yelling.
When Andrew bellowed “Buttered popcorn!” as Ryan served, he finally lost it. “What is the point of screaming gibberish while I hit?!” he snapped.
Andrew smiled and replied, “It’s to train your mental focus. If you can perform under auditory distractions, nothing will break your concentration during a match.”
Ryan had to admit it made sense, though he didn’t look forward to many more sessions of serving to a soundtrack of “Yippee hooray!” and “Hakuna Matata!”
52. Molly was thrilled to be let into an advanced tennis camp, until she met her instructor Rafael. He’d hastily shout criticism after each of her strokes, like “Stop bending your elbow!” and “Why are you jumping? Keep feet planted!” Rafael’s constant nitpicking made Molly dread their sessions.
Finally, she told him, “I know you’re trying to help me improve, but this rapid-fire feedback is overwhelming. I’d appreciate if we could discuss my technique in a constructive way instead.”
Rafael nodded thoughtfully. “You’re completely right, I’m sorry. I get overeager with critiquing but need to make it more of a conversation.”
Molly smiled, glad she spoke up. With a more supportive approach, she could now thrive in the camp.
