Seafood Puns
1. I’m going to avoid the shrimp at this party because they look a little shellfish.
2. The lobster kept pinching everyone because it was feeling crabby.
3. I was going to tell a joke about tuna, but it’s probably best if I keep it on the down low.
4. The clams were being rude and not opening up during the dinner party.
5. The oysters knew they couldn’t contribute to the potluck dinner, so they just clammed up.
6. I asked the waiter if the calamari was fake or real – he said it was an im-pasta.
7. The shrimp were scared that people were prawn to eat them.
8. The crab was feeling depressed so his friends tried to cheer him up and lift his spirits.
9. I avoid eating cold oysters because I don’t find them very a-peel-ing.
10. The fish was afraid of being eaten so it was being very coy.
Seafood One-Liners
11. I don’t trust those crabs, they’re pretty shellfish if you ask me.
12. Want to hear a fishy joke? Neither do I, let’s sea what else I can come up with.
13. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
14. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
15. I was going to tell a joke about tuna but decided not to because it seemed a little fishy.
16. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
17. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
18. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
19. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
20. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
Best Seafood Jokes
21. A salmon was making its way up a river when it came to a concrete dam. It swam back and forth looking for a ladder or some other way to get around it. After several failed attempts, the frustrated salmon yelled out, “Dam it!”
22. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of fish fillets. It was a freak halibut accident.
23. What do you call a sleeping fish? A snooze bass.
24. I took my fish to the vet because it wasn’t moving. The vet looked at it and said, “I have some bad salmonella for you.”
25. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh.
26. Did you hear about the guy who stole a truckload of lobster? The cops are trying to clawmise the situation.
27. Why are shellfish terrible liars? Because you can sea right through them.
28. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
29. I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
30. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
31. Did you hear about the pasta chef that died? He pasta way.
32. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
