Food Puns
1. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
2. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
3. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
4. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
5. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
6. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
7. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
8. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
9. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Food One-Liners
11. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
12. A hungry clock goes back four seconds.
13. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
14. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
15. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
16. The chef that invented the donut was quite the holey man.
17. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator.
18. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
19. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
20. I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Best Food Jokes
21. Three men walk into a bar. The first man says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second man says “I’ll have some H2O too.” The third man says “I’ll have some H2O too.” The three men enjoyed their water and left the bar safely hydrated.
22. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
23. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me tonight.
24. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
25. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese.
26. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
27. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
28. What do you call fake noodles? Imposters.
29. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
30. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
31. Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
32. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
33. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
34. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese!
35. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll!
36. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste!
37. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy!
38. Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
39. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
40. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
41. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
42. Why do eggs hate comedy shows? Because they always crack each other up!
43. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me tonight!
44. Why couldn’t the orange get married? Because he cantaloupe!
45. How do trees access the internet? They just log in.
46. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
47. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
48. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
49. What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
50. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
