Feather Puns
1. I bought some new pillows stuffed with feathers, but they turned out to be a downer.
2. My friend got angry when I put a feather in his hat. I guess I ruffled his feathers.
3. Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the pillow factory? He was caught taking a feather nap.
4. I entered my pet parrot in a beauty pageant. She was definitely the fairest feather of them all.
5. I was hoping to score tickets to see Elton John, but I guess it wasn’t meant to feather be.
6. I waved a feather in front of my cat to tease her. She gave me a stern feather warning.
7. The Native American chief wore a large feathered headdress to the ceremony. It was his way of reaching higher feather grounds.
8. The new down comforter I bought came with a warning: May cause feather dependency.
9. When I’m feeling down, I use feathers to tickle myself until I’m in stitches. Laughter is the best feather medicine.
10. After eating too many wings, I’m worried I may have feathered my last fowl.
Feather One-Liners
11. I’m so ticklish, even a feather makes me jump out of my skin.
12. That pillow fight got way too intense, now we have feathers flying everywhere!
13. This feather duster does a poor job cleaning. It just tickles everything!
14. After stuffing myself with fried chicken, I’ve got feathers coming out of my ears.
15. I tried to tickle my friend as a prank but he didn’t crack a feather.
16. Let’s not ruffle any feathers here, I think we can solve this dispute amicably.
17. Blowing dandelion puffs is like sending little feather wishes into the wind.
18. Pillow fights would be a lot more intense if pillows were stuffed with porcupine quills instead of feathers.
19. That feather boa looks like it came straight off a molting ostrich.
20. This feather duster does such a good job, it’s like having little feather fingers cleaning everything.
Best Feather Jokes
21. A man walked into a zoo exhibit, claiming he was born with feathers instead of skin. The zookeeper replied, “Sir, I believe what you have is a severe case of featherbrained thinking.”
22. A feather falls from the sky and lands next to a man sitting on a park bench. He picks it up, holds it to his ear and listens intently. Concerned, another man asks what he’s doing. The man replies, “I’m trying to figure out what the feather is tweeting about!”
23. Did you hear about the angry chickens who stormed the pillow factory? They wanted to take back their feathers! It quickly became an all out feather war between the chickens and the workers armed with pillows. Feathers were flying everywhere as they had a giant feather fight. In the end, both sides were plucked clean.
24. A man goes to buy a boa feather scarf for his wife, but can’t decide between ostrich feathers or peacock feathers. The shopkeeper suggests, “It depends if you want her to Ooh or Ahh.”
25. Why don’t chickens wear feather coats? Because they would be feather coats.
26. Did you hear about the mobsters who ran an illegal feather smuggling ring? They were charged with organized pluckery.
27. Why was the baby chick afraid to leave the coop? She was too chicken and needed the feather protection of her mother.
28. Why did the feathers cross the road? To get to the other side.
29. What do you call an occasion where feathers are the primary centerpiece? A plume-bash.
30. How do birds keep up with feather fashion trends? They read Peck Couture magazine.
31. Why did the feather lose the race? It was down by a nose.
32. Which side of a feather has the most feathers? The outside!
33. Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they forgot the words to the feather!
34. What do you call a sleeping chicken? A feather duster!
35. Why did the chicken avoid KFC? It didn’t want to watch its feathers get plucked!
36. How do you fix a broken feather? With a tube of feather glue!
37. What do you call a feather that’s afraid of heights? Chicken feather!
