Summer Puns 1. I wanted to catch some rays at the beach, but all I caught was a cold. I guess I’m just not cut out for the pun life. 2. My friend got badly sunburned on vacation. I told him he looked a little crisp around the edges. He didn’t find it very punny. …
Susan Parker
Spring Puns (15) 1. What do you call a row of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line. 2. Why was the daffodil so popular? It just sprang up out of the grass! 3. What did the honeybee say to the flowers? Glad I can finally pollen-ate with you! 4. What’s the worst thing about spring …
Slinky Puns (20) 1. I bought a slinky for my friend but he straightened up before I could give it to him. 2. My slinky got stiff and couldn’t walk downstairs anymore. Now it’s a no-go slink. 3. I put eyes on my slinky and named it Slinkius. Now it’s a seeing-eye toy. 4. I …
Russia Puns 1. I heard Russia is thinking of changing its name to USB-R. That way they can take over all ports. 2. Why does Russia excel at chess? They’ve been practicing cold war tactics for years. 3. Russia wanted to enter the European baking contest, but kept getting rejected. They finally realized they kneaded …
Pretzel Puns 1. Why don’t pretzels get married? They have too much salt in their relationships! 2. What do you call a pretzel that works out? A muscle knot. 3. Why was the pretzel late to work? It took too long to twist and turn in traffic. 4. Why do pretzels make bad gardeners? They …
Pee Wee Herman Puns 1. I heard Pee Wee Herman got a job at the post office. He really delivers the mail! 2. Did you hear about Pee Wee Herman’s new dance studio? It’s for people with two left feet! 3. Why doesn’t Pee Wee Herman like taking pictures? He always ends up looking funny! …
Whale Puns 1. What do you call a whale that makes art? A crafty kraken! 2. What do you call a whale who does magic tricks? An abra-cachalot! 3. I was going to tell a joke about whales but I decided to drop it because it was too heavy. 4. What do you call a …
Nurse Puns 1. Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? To draw blood! 2. How does a nurse like her coffee? Intravenously! 3. What do you call a nurse who loves monsters? A Med Scary! 4. Why do nurses make great vampires? They’re always working the graveyard shift! 5. How do you …
Goat Puns 1. What do you call a goat who works in an office? A cubicle leaper. 2. What do you call a goat that helps you with your math homework? A problem-solving goat. 3. Why don’t goats tell jokes when they’re camping? They like to goat for s’mores. 4. How does a goat greet …
Clown Puns 1. What do you call a clown who’s late to everything? A clowntard. 2. Why did the clown bring extra socks to the circus? In case they got holes in them! 3. How do clowns get around town? In clown cars. 4. What do you call a sad clown? Blue. 5. Why can’t …