Push pin Puns 1. I wanted to hang up some photos in my new office, but all I could find were push pins. I guess you could say I was in a prickly situation! 2. My friend was trying to convince me that push pins are just as good as thumbtacks. I told him not …
Jennifer Martinez
Pocket Watch Puns (15) 1. I was running late to my watchmaker class, but I managed to make up for lost time. 2. My pocket watch collection is very valuable. You could say it’s priceless…unlike my regular watch collection. 3. I brought my broken pocket watch to get fixed, but the repairman said he didn’t …
Alarm Clock Puns 1. I was running late this morning so I decided to set my alarm clock a few minutes fast. I guess you could say I was alarmsing the time! 2. My alarm clock went off an hour early today. It was a rude awakening. 3. I bought a new alarm clock that …
Candle Puns 1. Why was the candle so tired after a long day? It was burnt out! 2. What did the French candle say to the other candle? I wax, you wax, we all wax for candles! 3. Why do candles make the best listeners? They illuminate what you have to say! 4. Why did …
Sock Puns 1. I tried to come up with a sock pun, but couldn’t foot the bill. 2. What did one sock say to the other sock? I’ve got you covered! 3. I asked my sock if it was feeling sad. It said, “Yeah, I’m feeling a little down today.” 4. Want to hear a …
Poop Puns (10) 1. I’m feeling pretty crappy today. My stomach is in turdmoil. 2. The plumber was having a crappy day. All he wanted to do was drop the kids off at the pool, but he kept getting called for toilet emergencies. 3. I ate some bad Mexican food last night. Now I’m in …
May Puns Every May 1st, I get up with the day and show my enthusiasm. You could say I’m an early May person. I asked my friend if he wanted to celebrate May Day with me. He said, “Mayday! Mayday! Abort mission!” My wife told me not to drink too much at the May Day …
Walmart Puns (15) What do you call a Walmart employee who is always slacking off? Aisle Be Back! Why was the Walmart worker fired for stealing bread? They wanted to get that dough! My friend got a job at Walmart but was fired on his first day. I guess he wasn’t up to the task. …
Vampire Puns 1. What do vampires do when they want to relax? They get their dead on. 2. Why are vampires so easy to fool? Because they’re suckers. 3. Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation. 4. Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak. …
Memorial Day Puns 1. I wanted to celebrate Memorial Day but all the good parties were grave affairs. 2. The cemetery was getting crowded so they had to start digging up plot twists. 3. We had a barbecue on Memorial Day. The hot dogs were to die for. 4. My friend got exhausted hosting the …
