Lemons Puns (20) What do you call an angry lemon? A sourpuss. How does a lemon greet his friend? With lemon-ade. Why was the lemon late for work? It ran out of juice. What did the lemon say when it got squeezed too hard? Ow, you’re hurting me! Why don’t lemons trust each other? Because …
Brian Johnson
Ninja Puns What do you call a ninja who is into fashion? A Belt Ninja! Why don’t ninjas ever get sick? They have incredible immune systems. How does a ninja stay warm in winter? They wear longjohns. What do you call a ninja who sells coffee? A Barista Ninja. Why are ninjas so good at …
New Years Puns (12) 1. I heard the ball drop last night and it made me melancholy—it just goes to show that the end of the year is always so emotional! 2. I was going to stay up until midnight on New Years Eve, but I ended up falling a-sleep before the ball dropped. 3. …
Muffin Puns (10) 1. I knead to tell you about this muffin recipe I tried. It was so good I almost crumb-ed! 2. What do you call a muffin that makes everyone laugh? A funny bun! 3. Why was the blueberry muffin so sad? It was feeling a little crumby. 4. How did the muffin …
Moving Puns 1. I was going to make a joke about moving, but I couldn’t pick it up. 2. My friend hired movers without doing any research. It was a packing mistake. 3. I wanted to make a moving joke, but it didn’t seem transportable. 4. I tried to come up with a joke about …
Mole Day Puns 1. I tried calculating Avogadro’s number but I kept losing count. My work was so mole-esting! 2. My chemistry teacher told us that today is Mole Day. I said, “Don’t you mean guaca-mole day?” 3. I entered a competition to see who could balance the most moles on their face. It ended …
Middle Child Puns 1. What do you call a middle child who gets whatever they want? Spoiled brat-tle child! 2. What did the middle child say when they were stuck between their older and younger siblings? I’m in a jam! 3. Why don’t middle children ever know where they’re going? They have no direction! 4. …
Haunted House Puns 1. What do ghosts serve their guests at dinner parties? Boos fetts! 2. Why are ghosts horrible at telling lies? Because you can see right boo-through them! 3. Why did the ghost go into real estate? He was looking for some scare property! 4. Why don’t skeletons ever get mad? Because nothing …
Disco Puns 1. I heard the local disco is having a sale on bellbottoms. Now that’s a flared opportunity! 2. What do you call an overweight disco dancer? A heavy groover! 3. Why did the disco dancer cross the road? To get to the other sidestep. 4. What do you call a disco dancer who …
Coffee Puns 1. I like my coffee how I like my mornings: strong, bitter and resentful towards having to be awake. 2. Baristas spell my name wrong on purpose because I always order the most complicated drink on the menu. 3. My coffee order is longer than my resume. 4. Don’t talk to me until …