104 Jokes About Lemons

Lemons Puns (20)

1. What do you call an angry lemon? A sourpuss.
2. How does a lemon greet his friend? With lemon-ade.
3. Why was the lemon late for work? It ran out of juice.
4. What did the lemon say when it got squeezed too hard? Ow, you’re hurting me!
5. Why don’t lemons trust each other? Because they’re all yellow.
6. What’s a lemon’s favorite day of the week? Sourday.
7. Why did the lemon get detention? For being too acidic.
8. How does a lemon play guitar? It uses a pickel.
9. Why was the lemon angry after lunch? It didn’t get des-sert.
10. What’s a lemon’s favorite band? Limehouse.
11. What do you call two lemons in love? A pair-a-citrus.
12. Why don’t lemons make good comedians? Their jokes are too dry.
13. How does a lemon get across the street? It waits for the light to turn yel-lemon.
14. What’s a lemon’s favorite sport? Squash.
15. Why did the lemon go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
16. What do you call a lemon that’s been knighted? Sir Lemon.
17. Why was the lemon scared on Halloween? It saw a ghost-lime.
18. Why don’t lemons get married? They can’t find their better zest.
19. What do you call lemons that have run out of power? Delemons.
20. Why don’t lemons make good soldiers? They crack too easily under pres-sure.

Lemons One-Liners (20)

1. I tried making lemonade with artificial lemons. It was an imitation of the real thing.
2. There’s a new restaurant in town that serves only lemon-themed food. I hear it’s a sour experience.
3. My friend got attacked by a gang of lemons. He’s still recovering from the citrus assault.
4. I accidentally bought a car that was colored bright yellow. I guess life gave me lemons after all.
5. Did you hear about the new line of luxury lemon vehicles? Apparently, they offer a zestier ride.
6. I entered my lemon meringue pie in the county fair, but it didn’t win first prize. What a sour defeat.
7. My doctor says I need to cut back on acidic foods. Looks like no more lemons for me.
8. I tried to make a lemon sculpture, but couldn’t get the face quite right. When life gives you lemons, make lemon-aid instead.
9. I ordered fish tacos with extra lemon. Let’s just say it left a sour taste in my mouth.
10. Did you hear about the new lemon-scented cleaner? It will really get rid of that citrus smell in your bathroom.
11. They say if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I made lemonade, but now I have more leftover lemons than I know what to do with.
12. I accidentally confused lemon juice and lime juice when making margaritas last night. Boy, was my party surprised by the citrus swap.
13. The grocery store was out of lemons, so I had to make do with using vinegar instead. I guess desperate times call for sour measures.
14. I tried to write a song about lemons, but I struggled to think of lyrics that rhymed with yellow. Songwriting can really lemon you stumped sometimes.
15. I thought citrus flavored candy would taste like lemons, but it turns out they use artificial flavors that are just a sour imitation of the real thing.
16. My friend bought a bright yellow car and said it suited his personality. I told him lemons aren’t really my taste.
17. I accidentally got lemon juice in my eye while cooking last night. Talk about a sour experience.
18. I asked the waiter for extra lemon with my iced tea. Let’s just say it was an extra sour batch they brewed up today.
19. My kids set up a lemonade stand today, but they used salt instead of sugar. I don’t think they’ll be getting many return customers with that sour solution.
20. I tried to write a song about lemons, but I struggled to think of lyrics that rhymed with yellow. Songwriting can really lemon you stumped sometimes.

Best Lemon Jokes (50)

1. 1. Why did the lemon roll down the hill? It wanted to get to the bottom.

My friend Bob loves sour foods, so I told him this joke about a lemon rolling down a hill. He thought it was pretty funny! Though simple, it pokes fun at how lemons are sour fruits by having one “want to get to the bottom” like they are extreme daredevils. The absurd imagery of a lemon rolling down a hill just for the sake of it is pretty amusing. Leave it to a lemon to want to go on a crazy joyride!

1. 1. How do you know when a lemon is about to tell a joke? It gets ready to pucker up.

I told this joke to my coworker Sarah, who loves puns and wordplay humor. She busted out laughing at the silly play on words about lemons telling jokes. The idea of a lemon preparing to pucker up in order to deliver a punchline is just so absurd. But that’s what makes it funny! Sarah said this was right up her alley and was citrusy sweet.

1. 1. What’s the favorite drink of a sour lemon? Lemon-ade.

My kids thought this pun was hilarious. I think jokes with a play on words really appeal to kids’ developing sense of language. They especially liked that it used their favorite drink lemonade to describe a grumpy lemon’s preferred beverage. Simple, clean humor goes a long way with little ones. Though I had to explain what “sour” and “lemonade” meant, once they got it, they giggled nonstop and asked me to tell it again.

1. 1. Why was the lemon so sour? It couldn’t get enough sugar.

I told this little joke to my friend Lauren who is a total foodie. She loves sour candy so I thought she’d appreciate this funny quip about a bitter lemon lacking sugar. Lauren chuckled at the idea of a lemon struggling fruitlessly (pun intended) to become sweet. She said it was clever to personify the citrus fruit and make it appear happy for more sugar!

1. 1. What game do lemons play? Squash!

With this joke featuring a fun play on words with “squash”, I aimed to make my brother James laugh. He’s a huge gamer and fan of bad puns, so I thought he’d get a kick out of a joke about lemons playing a game that tied into both the fruit and sport meanings of squash. Sure enough, the silly picture of lemons playing squash elicited a groan followed by a laugh. James appreciated the cheesy wordplay even as he protested how corny it was!

1. 1. Why was the lemon kicked out of the restaurant? It kept screaming, “In your face!”

I decided to tell this joke at a family dinner, going for laughs from both the kids and adults. It’s got that classic mischievous punchline revealing the lemon was being sour and obnoxious in the restaurant. Both my nieces and in-laws cracked up picturing a loud, rude lemon ruining the dining experience with its tart tagline. Silly enough for kids, cheeky enough for adults, this joke went over well across generations.

1. 1. Why do lemons make the best comedians? They know how to zest your expectations.

I tried out this joke on my friend Rachel who loves stand-up comedy and lemon flavored everything. With the funny play on “zest” she instantly cracked up, appreciating the joke about a lemon comedian adding citrus flair to punch up their act. Clever wordplay plus her love of comedy and lemon zest made this joke a hit. Rachel said it would brighten up any comedian’s sourpuss mood!

1. 1. What’s a lemon’s favorite TV show? The Real House-thymes.

When my coworker Carl told me he and his wife had recently binge watched all of the Real Housewives shows, I knew I had to try this lemon-themed joke on him. Playing into his love of reality TV drama, the idea of a sassy lemon watching a show called “The Real House-thymes” was right up Carl’s alley. He cracked up and said the lemon-wife antics would be even more delicious with a citrus twist!

1. 1. Why was the lemon fired from the kitchen? It kept stirring up trouble.

This joke played well with my chef friend Julia who’s worked in many restaurant kitchens over the years. She got a kick out of the idea of a bitter, difficult lemon causing issues and being let go. Julia said she could totally picture a problematic lemon ruining sauce batches and undermining the head chef. Clever kitchen pun aside, the joke resonated by tapping into her many experiences working with uncooperative kitchen staff!

1. 1. Why did the lemons get in trouble at school? They couldn’t stop goofing around in class!

I told this lighthearted joke to my nephew’s third grade class during a guest appearance, and it was a hit with the kids. They loved picturing mischievous lemons joking around, passing notes, and being class clowns during lessons on citrus anatomy in fruit biology. The exaggerated idea of sentient fruit getting into trouble tickled their imaginations and got the whole class giggling at those rascal lemons!

1. 1. Where do lemons go for vacation? To Lime Springs!

For this cute pun, I tried it out on my dad who loves groan-worthy jokes. The made up lime-themed town name immediately got an eye roll, but he still chuckled appreciatively at the silly notion of vacationing lemons. Dad said the image of relaxed lemons lounging around a lime resort gave him a good laugh. Goes to show, even the corniest jokes can hit the funny bone!

1. 1. How did the lemon win the race? It made the sour competitors pucker.

When my ultra-competitive friend Alicia was telling me about her latest 5K win, I threw this fast-paced lemon joke her way. As a lover of running puns and citrus-flavored everything, she immediately cracked up. We both got a kick out of picturing a speedy lemon leaving the competition in the dust with its extreme sour power. Alicia said any joke combining sourness and competition is a winner in her book!

1. 1. Why are lemons the most playful fruit? They’re always ready for a bit of fun and citrus hi-jinks!

I decided to try out this upbeat joke on my fun-loving niece Danielle. She’s always on the lookout for any opportunity to turn things into a game, so I knew she’d appreciate this quip about lively, spirited lemons. As expected, her face lit up imagining frisky lemons getting up to all sorts of mischief and amusement. Danielle laughed and said it sounds just like something she would do!

1. 1. Why did the country singer get mad at his lemon backup singers? They kept trying to harmonize with him by singing “When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemon-ade.”

I told this joke to my musically inclined friend Jordan who does sound mixing for live shows. He totally cracked up at the idea of sassy lemons undermining their country star boss by belting that ubiquitous citrus saying. As someone used to dealing with live performance mishaps, Jordan appreciated this absurd behind-the-scenes scenario poking fun at unruly backup singers.

1. 1. Why did the lemon refuse to get married? It had commitment issues.

This joke played well with my activist friend Kristin who’s not a fan of traditional institutions like marriage. She appreciated the idea of a lemon bucking societal norms and expectations. Kristin chuckled at the absurd idea of citrus fruits even having marital customs and said it was a fresh take playing into the stereotype of “sour lemons” for laughs.

1. 1. How does a lemon party? It turns up the beet!

When I told this funny pun to my vegetarian friend Luke, he totally cracked up. As a health nut who loves beets and lemon water, he appreciated the play on turning up the “beet” – both referencing the vegetable and the volume! Luke said it was a clever party joke combining his favorite foods. The visual of lemons getting down by cranking up beet music made him laugh out loud.

1. 1. Why did the lemon get in trouble with airport security? It was suspected of being a lime mule.

With this timely joke about airport security, I went for laughs from my TSA agent cousin Janelle. She got a major kick out of the idea of a shady lemon being busted for suspected lime smuggling at customs. Janelle loved the silly crime case scenario of producing contraband limes, which she said would absolutely warrant extra screening!

1. 1. What’s a sour lemon’s favorite movie genre? Horror! The more disturbing, the better.

My horror movie buff friend Tyler really appreciated this dark joke. As a lemon lover with a twisted sense of humor, he chuckled at the morbid idea of bitter lemons enjoying the most twisted, disturbing films. Tyler said the absurdity of envisioning a piece of fruit watching extreme horror and loving it really cracked him up!

1. 1. Why do lemons hate karaoke night at the bar? They don’t know any songs without the word lemon in them!

I told this joke to my coworker Jen who loves going out for karaoke nights after work. She found the idea of tone deaf lemons struggling through karaoke absolutely hilarious. Jen could vividly picture sour lemons fumbling through songs and only knowing citrus-themed tunes. We both agreed karaoke night with lemons would be a total comedy show!

1. 1. What’s a lemon’s favorite candy? Shock-Tarts!

With this clever play on the popular Shock Tart candies, I went for laughs from my fellow candy lover friend Avery. The absurd idea of extreme sour candies appealing specifically to lemons tickled her funny bone. Avery got a kick out of picturing a lemon with a bag of Shock-Tarts, which she said was both amazing visual wordplay and weirdly specific to that fruit.

1. 1. Why are lemons good at video games? They’re masters of the controller!

My gamer brother Mason really enjoyed this upbeat joke. As a serious console gamer and lemon enthusiast, he loved the idea of skillful lemons dominating at games. Mason chuckled at the thought of sour citrus fruits clutching controllers and said their knack for puckering up would give them an edge with all those buttons!

1. 1. Why did the country singer forget the words to his song? The lemon backup singers kept throwing him off!

I tried out this joke on my musically inclined coworker, knowing he’d relate to the idea of a performer getting derailed by problematic backup singers. He laughed out loud imagining a band of unruly lemons undermining their boss on stage with their off-key singing and citrusy antics. Having played many gigs himself, he could totally picture the chaotic scene!

1. 1. What’s a lemon’s favorite dessert? Key lime pie!

With this tasty pun, I went for laughs from my foodie friend Rachel who loves baking desserts. She cracked up at the idea of a lemon having an intense craving for the sour, citrusy taste of key lime pie. Having once attempted a complicated key lime recipe herself, Rachel totally related to the desire for that lip-puckering lime-lemon flavor explosion!

1. 1. Why are lemons so good at track and field? They excel at the sprinting limes!

I whipped out this athletic pun when my track star cousin Travis was telling me about his latest 200 meter time. As a lover of both running and lemon flavored things, he busted up laughing at the notion of speedy lemons killing it in the lime sprints. Travis appreciated the clever play on words combining his passion for the sport with his affinity for citrus.

1. 1. Why do lemons make the best detectives? They know how to get to the bottom of complex cases and juice out clues!