Bone Puns
1. I tried to come up with a skeleton pun but I didn’t have the guts.
2. What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appetite!
3. Why didn’t the skeleton want to play soccer? He didn’t have the ball to do it.
4. Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts.
5. What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs!
6. Why don’t skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.
7. Why did the skeleton go to the hospital? To get his ghoul stones removed.
8. What do you call a skeleton who lies a lot? A boney phony!
9. Why didn’t the skeleton want to play football? He was bone tired.
10. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
11. Why couldn’t the skeleton focus in class? He had a funny bone.
12. What did the baby skeleton wear for Halloween? A bone costume.
13. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
14. Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow too long? He was bone chilled.
15. Why are skeletons so good at playing instruments? They have great bones for music.
16. Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He had no guts.
17. What did the skeleton say when his friend told a lie? You can’t fool me, I can see right through you.
18. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving? For the halibut!
Bone One-Liners
19. I wish I could make a skeleton pun but I just don’t have the backbone for it.
20. I tried to come up with a skeleton joke but it tickled my funny bone too much.
21. My skeleton puns are so humerus you’ll die laughing.
22. I wanted to tell a skeleton joke but I didn’t have the guts for it.
23. I don’t have the backbone to make a skeleton pun right now.
24. I made a skeleton pun earlier but nobody found it very humerus.
25. I tried to come up with a skeleton joke but I guess I’m just spineless.
26. Making skeleton jokes takes a lot of backbone.
27. I wanted to make a skeleton pun but I just couldn’t stomach it.
28. I was going to make a skeleton joke but I lost my nerve.
Best Bone Jokes
29. A skeleton walked into a bar and said, “Give me a beer and a mop.”
The bartender asked, “What do you need a mop for?”
The skeleton replied, “My buddy just spilled his drink all over me and made a mess.”
30. What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
31. Why was the skeleton sad? He was feeling bonely.
One day a skeleton decided to go to a party. He was a little nervous because he didn’t really know anyone there. But after a few drinks, he finally got the courage to ask a pretty girl skeleton to dance. To his surprise, she said yes! They were really hitting it off on the dance floor until all of a sudden, his arm bone flew off while dancing and hit the girl skeleton in the head. She gasped and ran away embarrassed. The armless skeleton sighed thinking he had blown his chances. But to his surprise, she came back a minute later and said, “It’s Halloween and I just got the perfect costume!”
32. Two skeletons walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, “You look familiar. Did we go to kindergarten together?” The other skeleton says, “Nope. I was home schooled.”
33. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Two skeletons wanted to fight each other because one called the other’s mother a “pile of bones.” However, when it came time to actually throw down, neither skeleton could work up the guts to do it. After all, they had no internal organs and not much to lose. So they decided to call a truce over a nice warm cup of bone broth instead.
34. Why did the skeleton go to hospital? To get his ghoul stones removed!
Sally the skeleton was feeling under the weather. Her bones were aching and she had a terrible pain in her stomach area. She decided to go see Dr. Bones, the premier skeleton physician. After examining her, the doctor determined that her ghoul stones were inflamed and needed to be surgically removed. Sally was scared to undergo the skeleton surgery, but she knew it was necessary to feel like herself again. The operation was a great success and Sally happily skipped out of the hospital newly energized and ready to celebrate life as a ghoul stone-free skeleton!
35. How did skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
One morning, Jack Skellington woke up and immediately sensed something was off. Aching pain shot through his hollow bones as he stumbled downstairs for his morning bone coffee. “Something just doesn’t feel right,” Jack muttered. “My bones never lie…” Sure enough, within the hour the sky turned gloomy and rain began to pour. Jack happily sipped his coffee satisfied that once again his trusty bones had predicted the weather. His wife even thought he was magical, but Jack knew it was just intuition. For rain or shine, Jack could always feel it in his bones.
36. Why don’t skeletons play music in church? They have no organs.
The band Skeletal Sounds was really hoping to make it big someday. They practiced day and night to hone their bone rattling sound. When the local church put out an ad looking for a Sunday choir group, Skeletal Sounds knew this could be their big break. Excitedly, they showed up with their instruments ready to audition. However, the priest took one look at the band of skeletons and immediately turned them down. Confused, the skeletons asked why they couldn’t play at church. “Simple,” the priest said, “you have no organs!” Dejected, the skeleton band packed up their instruments and left. Someday, they hoped people would appreciate their unique organ-less sound.
37. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin!
Melissa the skeleton was the most easygoing and relaxed person you’d ever meet. While her friends were constantly stressed and overwhelmed by their hectic lives, Melissa just coasted through each day without a care in the world. Her friends marveled at how calm she was even in the craziest of situations. They often joked it was because she was already dead so nothing could faze her. But Melissa knew the real secret – without any skin to get worked up, literally nothing could get under her skin! She smiled as her friends continued to get worked up over everything. Melissa was just a skeleton chilling.
38. What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone!
Ever since he was a wee pile of bones, Jack Skellington loved music. He tried playing countless instruments over the years searching for the perfect fit. The violin? Too screechy. Flute? Not enough soul. Even the saxophone didn’t resonate with Jack. Then one fateful day, he came across the trombone. Jack picked it up and gave it a honk – instantly he knew this was the one. The sliding pitch and brassy tones sang to his skeletal soul. From there on, Jack and his trusty trombone were inseparable. He even started his own jazz quartet featuring his trombone skills. Music just moved Jack down to the bone.
39. Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Jimmy. Jimmy who? Jimmy a bone, I’m falling apart! Poor Jimmy was barely holding himself together. His bones were so creaky that he could hardly walk without one falling off. Crossing the road was especially difficult for the crumbling skeleton. After almost getting flattened by a bus, Jimmy decided enough was enough. He slowly hobbled across the street, one bone at a time, until finally making it to the body shop. The mechanic took one look at Jimmy and got to work tightening screws and securing joints. An hour later, Jimmy walked out feeling sturdy as ever, ready to cross all the roads ahead.
40. Why didn’t the two skeletons get married? They had no body to love!
Jack and Jill skeleton had been dating for years. They did everything together – scary movie marathons, moonlight strolls in the graveyard, relaxing in bone tubs. Everyone kept telling them they were soul mates. So one day Jack decided it was time to propose. He got down on one knee bone, pulled out a diamond bone ring and asked Jill to be his skeletal wife. But to his shock, Jill said no! Confused, Jack asked why – didn’t she love him down to the marrow? Jill sadly shook her skull and said while she cared for Jack, they had no body to physically love. And for Jill, that just wasn’t enough. Heartbroken, Jack understood as he stared down at his empty ribcage. Maybe someday, two skeletons could find a love deeper than bones.
41. Why are skeletons so good at playing the drums? They have a natural sense of rhythm and great bone structure!
Ever wonder how skeletons make such amazing drummers? It’s simple – skeletons were just built to drum. Let’s break it down scientifically: Skeletons have no muscles or skin to get in the way allowing their bones to play freely. They also don’t feel fatigue or get carpal tunnel. And of course, skeletons have great innate rhythm given that they live life dancing to their own lively bone beat. So the next time you see a skeleton absolutely killing it on the drums, you’ll know why. Skeletons have a natural groove right down to the marrow in their bones.
42. What kind of makeup do skeletons wear? Bone-dation!
Susan was a stylish skeleton ready to go out for a night on the town. While she didn’t have actual skin, she still liked to glam up and paint her bones for a night out. Susan carefully applied bone shadow, skull concealer, and spine highlighter. Then she brushed on some cheek bone color and topped it off with a nice bone-dation powder to even out her tone. Finally satisfied with her look, she headed out feeling beautiful in her own skeletal way. Susan loved proving that everyone, even bone girls, deserved to feel confident and fabulous with the right makeup.
43. Why do skeletons make great spies? Because they’re good at undercover work!
Skeletons might just make the best spies ever for a few reasons. First, they’re lightweight and can sneak around quietly, perfect for not getting caught while undercover. Second, skeletons are essentially animate skeleton keys that can break in and unlock anything. And they can easily slip through vents, under doors, across laser grids, and more to access restricted areas undetected. Finally, skeletons can play dead convincingly to get out of sticky situations if needed. So if you ever come across a skeleton snooping around, watch out! Chances are you’re dealing with a secret agent skeleton getting intel undercover.
44. Why don’t skeletons gamble at casinos? The house always wins!
Jack Skellington was a gambling skeleton who loved going to the casino. He would play blackjack, roulette, and craps for hours, trying to beat the odds and hit it big. But no matter how much bone luck Jack thought he had, the house always won in the end. Those sneaky casino odds were stacked against him! After losing his shirt – make that his ribs and pelvis – far too many times, Jack finally realized skeletons just couldn’t win against the casino. The games were too humanly rigged! So he bid the gambling life adieu, and kept his bones far away from casinos from then on. The house may always win, but at least Jack still had his skeletal dignity.
45. Why are skeletons so good at solving mysteries? They know all the bare bones facts!
Sherlock Bones was the greatest skeleton detective in town. No mystery was too tricky for his analytical skull to crack. What made Sherlock such an adept problem solver? First, he knew how to dig up the bare bones of any case – no frills, just facts. Second, his skeletal intuition helped him connect clues and see angles no one else did. And third, he kept a level skull through all the twisting drama to objectively sniff out the truth. Sherlock’s special boneified brand of deductive reasoning made him unstoppable. With his skeletal skills, the facts always led Sherlock Bones straight to the culprit.
46. Why don’t skeletons take time off? They’re afraid to relax their bones!
Barry Bones was the ultimate workaholic skeleton. He just never stopped going and doing, day and night. Co-workers told Barry he was working himself down to the bone and needed a vacation. But the thought of relaxing made Barry shudder – what if all his bones fell apart without him there to hold them together? Barry imagined showing up back from vacation as just a lifeless pile of bones. So he decided overworking was better than no working at all! Maybe one day Barry would realize skeletons need breaks too, but for now he remained convinced that relaxing would be the end of him.
47. Why are skeletons so good at science? They have a ton of chemistry!
Dr. Skelly Bones was the most brilliant skeleton scientist in town. He amazed people with his groundbreaking bone-related discoveries. But what was the secret to Dr. Bones’ science genius? For one, he knew all 206 bones of the body intimately and how they connected. He also had a natural curiosity about the world that drove him to keep learning. And of course, Dr. Bones had great chemistry knowledge from a lifetime of studying reactions down to the marrow. But most importantly, as a skeleton himself, he had a deep passion for bones that made his research so impactful. Dr. Bones truly had a bone to pick with expanding scientific knowledge!
48. Why do skeletons make great comedians? They have a funny bone!
Gary was a goofy skeleton who dreamed of doing stand-up comedy. He was always cracking silly jokes about being a skeleton that left his friends laughing hysterically. “This guy should do comedy!” they told him. So Gary worked up the courage to take the stage at the local comedy club, and he killed! Turns out Gary was a natural born comedic talent, perfectly timing his skeleton jokes and pacing his bone-tickling routine like a pro. The audience rolled with laughter as Gary poked fun atskeleton misadventures and the ups and downs of bone life. The comedy club was so impressed, they made Gary a regular act. He even got bone-us laughs by closing each show with, “Well, that’s my funny bone tickled for the night!”
49. Why are skeletons so honest? You can see right through them!
Everyone who knew Stella Bones agreed – she was as truthful as they come. Stella always told it like it was no matter what. Friends valued her for her honesty, even when the truth hurt to hear. What made Stella such a straight shooter? As a skeleton, she literally had nothing to hide. Without any skin or even internal organs, you could see right through her inside and out. Stella just figured she might as well be fully transparent since she was quite literally just bones. She hoped her skeletal truthfulness would inspire those with flesh and blood to open up and be more honest too. The world could always use more truth seekers!
50. Why do skeletons make great architects? They have a good blueprint in their body.
Barry Bones found his calling as an architect. Ever since he was a young pile of bones, Barry loved looking at building designs and layout plans. He had a knack for designing structures and noticing small details. As Barry got older, he leveraged his natural architectural skills and became a successful and sought-after architect. What made Barry so good at designing buildings? As a skeleton, he had the perfect frame of reference right inside his own body. Between his intricate bone structure and joint connectivity, Barry had a built-in blueprint to inform high quality architectural plans. His unique skeletal perspective made him the ultimate architect.
51. Why do skeletons make bad grocery shoppers? They have no list, it’s all in their head!
Martha Skeleton was the world’s worst grocery shopper and everyone knew it. She invariably forgot half the items she went to the store for and ended up running back repeatedly. Her problem was that lacking muscles
