Balls Puns (10)
- What do you call a haunted set of genitals? Boos balls!
- Why was the basketball player so tired after his game? He was ball-drained.
- How did the ballerina get ready for her big show? She did some ball-et practice.
- Why don’t cats play with yarn balls? They prefer playing with their own fur balls.
- What do you call a ball that’s afraid of heights? An acro-phobic sphere.
- Why should you always compliment a pitcher’s balls? A little ball-miration goes a long way.
- Why did the police arrest the basketball player? They caught him dribbling balls in public.
- How did the cricketer illegally doctor the ball? He gave it an illegal ball-job.
- What do you call a ballerina dancing on her toes? A ball-erina.
- Why was Cinderella kicked out of the ball? She had the wrong balls.
Balls One-Liners (10)
- I was going to make a joke about balls, but I decided to pass.
- Balls jokes really separate the boys from the men.
- Thanks for the offer, but no balls jokes please.
- A day without balls jokes is like a day without sunshine.
- Balls jokes don’t really tickle my funny bone.
- You’ve got to hand it to me, my balls jokes always deliver.
- I don’t mean to beat around the bush, but balls jokes make me laugh.
- When it comes to balls jokes, I like to use kid gloves.
- My balls jokes may stink, but at least they have balls.
- If balls jokes offend you, maybe you should grow a pair.
Best Balls Jokes (19)
1. Larry walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Larry and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”
Larry says, “You know what, I bet he’ll jump.”
The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”
Larry placed $30 on the bar and said, “You’re on!”
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Larry, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”
Larry replied, “I can’t take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o’clock news and knew he would jump.”
The blonde replies, “I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”
Larry took the money.
2. Two friends, Jenny and Jinny, were comparing notes after their recent physicals.
“My doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old,” Jenny boasted.
“That’s nothing,” Jinny scoffed. “My doctor told me I have the balls of an eighteen-year-old.”
3. A soccer ball and a basketball are talking to each other.
The soccer ball says, “Why do you bounce so high?”
The basketball says, “Because I’m pumped full of air!”
The soccer ball thinks for a minute, then says, “Huh, I always thought you were just naturally buoyant.”
4. What did one ball say to the other ball?
I’ll catch up with you later!
5. Dave lost one of his balls in an unfortunate schmelting accident, so he decided to get a tattoo to make it look like he still had two balls.
After it healed, he went to the doc and dropped trou so the doc could check out his new ink.
Doc took a long look and said, “This looks pretty good! Who did the tattoo?”
Dave replied, “It’s pretty neat, huh? Spalding did it!”
6. Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have anty-balls.
7. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support soon, people are gonna think we’re balls.
8. A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks “If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?”
The bartender thinks for a minute and then says “It would have to be spectacular to take that offer.” The man leans down and picks up a box and puts it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, whom is only 1 foot tall, and beside him a little piano. The piano man starts playing classical music like Beethoven and Chopin.
The bartender is amazed at the sight and tells the man “You can drink free all night!” The bartender asks “Where did you get him from?” The man says “Oh, I have this magic genie lamp that grants me wishes.”
The bartender overhears and tells the man “Would you be interested in selling that lamp?” The man agrees and sells the lamp to the bartender for 1000 dollars.
The bartender rubs the lamp and says “Genie, I wish for a million bucks!” And all of a sudden, a million ducks start waddling into the bar. “Why did you give me ducks instead of bucks like I asked?” asks the bartender. The genie replies “Do you really think I would give you a million deer?”
9. Janet was dancing topless in a club when a man walked up to her and said, “You have the nicest pair of balls I have ever seen!”
Flattered but confused Janet replied, “I’m pretty sure these are breasts…”
The man shakes his head and insists, “Nope, definitely balls.”
This goes back and forth for a while until Janet gets fed up and demands the man explain his position.
“Well,” says the man, “It’s like this – I’m an expert on balls of all kinds – footballs, baseballs, basketballs, soccer balls, tennis balls – you name it. And in my expert opinion, those are balls.”
Janet decides she’s had enough and storms off leaving the man looking puzzled at the bar.
The bartender walks over and asks what that was all about.
“I don’t know!” exclaims the man. “I complement her balls and she gets all upset!”
“You dumbass,” says the bartender. “They’re breasts AND she’s a guy!”
10. Why was the birdie scared to fly south for the winter?
She was afraid of the swallows.
11. Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.
12. What do you call someone who takes care of chickens? A chicken tender.
13. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
14. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
15. Which U.S. state is famous for its extra small soft drinks? Minnesota soda.
16. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
17. Tonight a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
18. I entered ten puns in a pun contest hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
19. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
