Siamese Twins Puns (25 jokes)
1. What do you call Siamese twins who share the same middle name? Conjoined twins!
2. What do you call Siamese twins that don’t get along? A pair of odds.
3. Why don’t Siamese twins ever go on solo trips? They literally can’t be separated!
4. Why do Siamese twins hate surprises? They share everything together whether they like it or not!
5. What’s the least expensive way for Siamese twins to communicate? Just talk, it’s on the house!
6. How do most Siamese twins feel about sharing a birthday party? It’s always twice as fun with double the cake!
7. Why did one Siamese twin always know what the other was reading? They just had to read over their shoulder.
8. What’s a Siamese twin’s favorite movie genre? Anything attached at the hip!
9. Why don’t Siamese twins need calendars? They always have a twin day event going on!
10. Why do Siamese twins love summer so much? It’s the season of double the fun!
11. What’s a Siamese twin’s idea of multitasking? Brushing both sets of teeth at once!
12. How do most Siamese twins stay in shape? Shared workouts are twice as effective!
13. Why do Siamese twins make excellent spies? One keeps watch while the other snoops around!
14. What do you call Siamese twins that share headphones? Joined at the earbuds!
15. Why do Siamese twins love listening to music together? They literally can’t part-y!
16. What’s a Siamese twin’s favorite dessert to share? Anything two spoons will do!
17. Why do Siamese twins make great partners for three-legged races? Built-in teammate!
18. What do you call Siamese twins who share the same boyfriend? Sisters with benefits!
19. How do Siamese twins know what each other are thinking? Twin telepathy, of course!
20. Why do Siamese twins prefer electric toothbrushes? One cleans while the other charges!
21. What did the Siamese twins say when asked if they wanted to be separated? “We’re of two minds on the issue!”
22. What happens when Siamese twins get mad at each other? They give each other the cold shoulder.
23. How do Siamese twins play rock paper scissors? They always tie!
24. What’s a Siamese twin’s favorite emoji? The two dancing girls!
25. Why can’t Siamese twins keep secrets from each other? Two mouths, one story!
Siamese Twins One-Liners (25 jokes)
26. Siamese twins shop together because there’s no “I” in “buy for two.”
27. Siamese twins go on a lot of double dates…with themselves.
28. Siamese twins don’t need “best friends forever” jewelry…they already have that.
29. Siamese twins never wonder if the grass is greener on the other side…they share the same lawn.
30. Siamese twins always have a built-in gym buddy.
31. Siamese twins can really get twice as much done in a day.
32. Siamese twins don’t have to worry about forgetting their keys…their twin has them.
33. Siamese twins always have a +1 for weddings.
34. Siamese twins only have to buy one plane ticket to travel together.
35. Siamese twins never need to ask “does this outfit look good?” They have a built-in second opinion.
36. Siamese twins really got lucky…they’ll always have a friend to grow old with.
37. Siamese twins can nap together and still keep an eye on the kids.
38. Siamese twins can be each other’s designated driver without asking twice.
39. Siamese twins never have to share a twin bed…they come with one built in.
40. Siamese twins always have extra storage space…in their twin’s pockets.
41. Siamese twins get two pieces of birthday cake for the price of one party.
42. Siamese twins double their dating options.
43. Siamese twins buy one perfume and share the delightful scent.
44. Siamese twins make mirror selfies twice as fun.
45. Siamese twins get to experience double rainbows together.
46. Siamese twins can take turns napping on long car rides.
47. Siamese twins never need to download a twin finder app.
48. Siamese twins always have backup when remembering names and faces.
49. Siamese twins get the best of both worlds when making decisions.
50. Siamese twins have a built-in excuse for finishing each other’s sentences.
Best Siamese Twins Jokes (25 jokes)
51. A pair of Siamese twins walk into a bar joined at the waist. One orders a beer, the other orders a soda. The bartender serves them their drinks and asks if they’d like to run separate tabs or put it all on one bill. The twins look at each other confused for a moment and then both respond “together, of course!”
52. What did the Siamese twin say to the other when they wanted to annoy each other? “Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!”
53. Two Siamese twin brothers get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The cop asks the driver, “Why were you driving so fast?” The driver responds, “I’m sorry officer, but my brother was on the gas pedal. I wanted him to slow down!” The other brother shouts out, “Don’t you blame this on me, I told you we were going to get pulled over!” The cop looks confused for a moment and then says, “I think you two need to work this out amongst yourselves.”
54. A set of Siamese twins go on a dating show to find love. A lovely lady ends up picking one twin but rejects the other. The chosen twin looks over sadly at his brother and says to the woman, “That’s really sweet of you, but we’re a package deal – it’s both of us or neither of us.”
55. What do you call Siamese triplets? Stuck in the middle with you!
56. A pair of Siamese twin sisters realized that having a third wheel on all their dates was really limiting their options. So they decided to undergo an operation to try and separate them. The risky procedure was successful! A week later one twin said to the other, “This is great, now we can finally each have our own life!” The other twin responded sadly, “Yeah it’s great….I guess.” The first twin replied jokingly, “What’s wrong, are you feeling lonely already without me attached to you?” Her twin sister said, “No it’s not that…I just miss you.” The other twin said smiling, “Aww, don’t worry we can still do everything together. This doesn’t change the fact that we’re still sisters!” They both hugged while realizing they’d always share that unbreakable twin bond.
57. Why don’t Siamese twins go bungee jumping? Because it would ruin the family photos!
58. What is one thing Siamese twins can never agree on? Where to stand for a family photo!
59. Why do Siamese twins have trouble choosing which movie to watch? Because they can’t agree on anything!
60. What is a Siamese twin’s favorite song? “Stuck in the Middle With You” by Stealers Wheel
61. What is a Siamese twin’s least favorite day? Independence day!
62. Why don’t Siamese twins play sports? Because they don’t know whose side they’re on!
63. How do Siamese twins organize a party? They conjoin forces!
64. Why do Siamese twins laugh when they run? Because their sides split!
65. What did one Siamese twin say to the other when he wanted to drive? “Hey, it’s my turn to steer!”
66. Why don’t Siamese twins need umbrellas when it rains? Because they can just share-ah!
67. What’s a Siamese twins favorite dessert to share? Twin-kie pie!
68. Why did the Siamese twins break up? Because four’s a crowd!
69. What’s the worst part of a Siamese twin’s morning routine? Having to share the mirror!
70. Why do Siamese twins wear matching outfits? So they can always be seen together!
71. How can you tell when Siamese twins are lying? Their noses don’t match their stories!
72. What do you call Siamese triplets? Squeezed in the middle with you!
73. Why was only one Siamese twin smiling for the photo? The other twin was on the other side!
74. Why do Siamese twins prefer texting to calling? They get two-for-one on their family phone plan!
75. What happens when Siamese twins get in a fight? They have to give each other the cold shoulder!