Tape Puns (20) What do you call tape that doesn’t stick well? Sub-standard adhesive! Why can’t tape be vain? It’s always stuck on itself! My friend got trapped inside a tape factory. He said it was inescapable confinement. I entered my tape measure in a marathon. It unraveled after 26 miles. Want to hear a …
Margaret Cooper
Lighter Puns (15) 1. I bought a new lighter that is so futuristic, you could say it’s lighter years ahead of the competition! 2. My lighter went on a diet and started eating less fuel. Now it’s a little lighter. 3. I entered my lighter into a comedy competition. It was so funny, it won …
Watch Puns I entered a contest for most eccentric watch, but in the end I didn’t win any watches. My watch keeps great time, it’s very punctual. You could say it has a lot of minute details worked out. I brought my broken watch to the repair shop, but they said I should just watch …
Binder Puns 1. I was so busy, I felt completely in a binder. 2. My friend was struggling to organize her notes, I told her to get her life in binder. 3. I spilled coffee on my important documents. Now I’m in a binder. 4. I’m so unorganized I really need to get my binder …
Fork Puns What do you call a fork that plays the piano? A piano tuna fork! Why was the fork dirtier than the other utensils? It was always getting into prong situations. What do you call a fork that helps you eat salad? A tossing utensil! Why don’t forks make good dancers? They have two …
Key Puns 1. I was about to tell a joke about keys, but figured you wouldn’t find it very a-peel-ing. 2. Did you hear about the key that told bad jokes? People found him un-lock-y. 3. I bought special gloves to organize my key collection. You could say I have key hands now. 4. The …
Sofa Puns (12) I bought a sofa that turns into a bed. It’s very convenient for when guests stay over. You could say it’s a sleeper sofa. My new sofa came with cup holders and built-in speakers. You could say it’s a sofa with all the fix-ins. I spilled juice on my fabric sofa. Now …
Wine Puns (20) I used to drink wine religiously, but now I’m more of an alcohol-ignostic. My friend got drunk on wine coolers last night. Today he’s suffering from a case of White Claw-ver. The sommelier described the wine’s bouquet as hints of oak and black currant. I thought it smelled more like old grape …
Windmill Puns 1. I heard about a new dance inspired by windmills. It’s called the Turbine Twist! 2. What do you call a windmill that broke down? Out of order! 3. Why was the windmill farmer so innovative? He liked to try new things and turn over a new leaf. 4. Why are windmills so …
Vasectomy Puns (15) 1. What do you call a man who just had a vasectomy? Snip and clip! 2. Why was the man sore after his vasectomy? The doctor really gave his tubes a tying! 3. I asked my friend how his vasectomy went. He said, “It was nuts!” 4. After my vasectomy, the doctor …
