Hay Puns (15)
1. I went to the farm to get some hay, but when I got there all the bales were gone. The farmer said, “Sorry, no more hay today!”
2. My horse loves to eat hay so much that I call him Mr. Hay Lover.
3. During the hay harvest, the farmer said, “Make hay while the sun shines!” Because if it rains, the hay won’t dry properly.
4. The cowboy entered a hay stacking competition, determined to be the best in the bale.
5. The farmhand accidentally spilled his glass of milk into a pile of hay. He said, “Well isn’t this a fine heyday!”
6. The horse ate too much hay and got a hay belly ache. He needed some hay-drox to settle his stomach.
7. The hayride was so bumpy that everyone got hayhair by the end.
8. The farmer checked the hayfield and said, “This grass looks ready to cut, let’s make hay!”
9. My friend got hay fever so bad, his nose was running like haywire.
10. The cow said to the chicken while eating hay, “This is just hay-mazing!”
11. The pig sty was such a mess, it looked like a haystack exploded in there.
12. During the drought, the farmer prayed for hay from the heavens to feed his hungry livestock.
13. The horse’s hay diet was so strict, he wasn’t allowed to eat anything outside of his heyday.
14. The farmer was pitching hay when he threw out his back. He got himself a heyback brace.
15. When baling hay, make sure to tie up the bales properly or you’ll end up playing haystack.
Hay One-Liners (15)
16. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse, but I’ll settle for some hay.
17. This hay isn’t going to bail itself.
18. Quit horsing around and help me stack this hay.
19. If you hayve time to lean, you hayve time to clean the stall.
20. Make hay while the sun shines, or sleep in the barn when it rains.
21. Patchy the horse says, “Neighhh to hay!”
22. I hayte when the hay gets moldy.
23. A hay penny for your thoughts?
24. Let’s get this hay in the barn before the downpour!
25. This hay ain’t gonna pitch itself.
26. Save your hay, the winter is coming.
27. Does this hay make my butt look big?
28. Quit haytin’ and start participhaytin’.
29. Not sure if I should eat this hay or roll in it.
30. Move bale aside hay, wide load coming through.
Best Hay Jokes (25)
31. A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “You’re in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?” The horse says, “I don’t think I am.” and vanishes from existence.
See, the joke is about Descartes’ famous philosophy “I think, therefore I am.” But to explain that part before the punchline would be putting Descartes before the horse.
32. What do you call a fish who’s stuck in a haystack? Needle fish!
33. Why don’t horses ever get sick? They get daily hay-boosters and oat-meal every morning to keep them in tip top shape.
34. How do you make a small fortune in the hay business? Start with a large fortune.
35. What did the hay say to the other hay? I stalk you.
36. How does a farmer find hay in a needle stack? They use a magneigh.
37. What happened when the cart carrying hay broke down? It was a real night-mare!
38. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the stack of hay? The lettuce was a “head” and the hay was trying to “catch up!”
39. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up. That’s why chickens tell all the jokes on the farm.
40. How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
41. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his parents were in a jam.
42. What do you get if you cross a chicken with hay? A hen-stack!
43. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick.
44. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
45. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
46. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
47. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
48. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Because it was two-tired.
49. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
50. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
51. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
52. Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.
53. What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
54. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
55. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn’t find any.