Wizard Puns
1. What do you call a wizard who skipped school? A where-wolf!
2. Why don’t wizards like to get up early in the morning? They’re not morning people!
3. How did the wizard pay for his new robes and wand? With some abra-ca-dosh!
4. What happened to the wizard who turned everyone into different fruits? There was mass melons!
5. Why don’t wizards need to study for their O.W.L.s? Because they have a few tricks up their sleeves!
6. How do wizards keep their hands soft? With aloe-hamora cream!
7. Why was the wizard fired from his job? He hexed a coworker!
8. How do wizards keep their breath fresh? With evanesco mints!
9. Why didn’t the wizard have any friends? Because he was too spell-bound!
10. Why can’t wizards tell jokes timing perfectly? Because the execution is always a bit off.
11. What kind of shoes do wizards wear? Spellbound sneakers!
12. How does a wizard catch fish? With a wave of his wand and an accio charm!
Wizard One-Liners
13. I wanted to make a wand joke, but nothing magical came to mind.
14. Wand you believe I don’t have any more wizard puns?
15. These wizard jokes must be a nightmare for muggles to understand!
16. My friend asked to borrow my wand, but I told him he can get his own – finders keepers!
17. I’d tell you a joke about wizards, but it might spell disaster!
18. I took an Uber to a wizard convention last night. My driver was a lyft-wizard.
19. I performed some magic tricks at the wizard convention last night. But nothing mystic happened.
20. Being a wizard is a lot of work with no payoff. Just a lot of hocus pocus for nothing!
21. I wanted to make a joke about Divination class, but I don’t have the inner eye to see one!
22. Making wizard puns is Siriusly difficult. I’m running out of spell-binding material!
Best Wizard Jokes
23. A wizard walked into a bar and ordered a butterbeer. The bartender asked, “Can you pay for that?” The wizard replied “Yes Abra-cadabra!” and turned the bartender into a frog.
24. What do you call a depressed wizard? A de-mentor!
25. A wizard went to the eye doctor for an exam. The doctor said, “Read the letters on the chart.” The wizard replied, “I can’t – someone hexed me!”
26. Why don’t wizards need licenses to drive? Because they have auto-mobiles!
27. A wizard tried to enter a spelling bee but was disqualified. The judge said he could only use words from the dictionary, not made up spells!
28. Why don’t wizards ever win the lottery? Because their lucky charms don’t work!
29. How does a wizard cook his food? He waves his wand and says “abra-ca-spaghetti!”
30. What do you call a wizard who just ate dinner? A full wizard!
31. Why was the wizard hungry after eating his lunch? Because it vanished before he could finish!
32. Why do wizards make bad nurses? Because all their patients end up hexed!
