Tuesday Puns
- I heard two days got into a fight. When asked what happened, Tuesday said “It’s Wednesday my dudes!”
- What do you call it when Tuesday comes before Monday? Pre-mature Weekendation.
- Why does Tuesday hate the number 2? Because Tuesday is the third day.
- What do you call a party on Tuesday? A pre-Wednesday get together.
- Why did the calendar avoid Tuesday? It didn’t want to start the work week!
- What’s a Tuesday’s favorite fruit? A week-day!
- Why did Tuesday get arrested? It was caught tres-passing on Monday!
- How does Tuesday keep its hair looking great? With a weak-end conditioner!
- Why did Tuesday cross the road? To get to Wednesday!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Tu. Tu who? Tu whom it may concern, I am Tuesday!
Tuesday One-Liners
- I hate Tuesdays so much I wish they came on Wednesdays!
- Tuesday is just Monday’s ugly twin sister.
- Tuesdays are like the Mondays that nobody invited to the party.
- On Tuesdays, we wear grey.
- Tuesday got demoted from its weekend manager position.
- What do you call Tuesday in France? Mardi.
- Tuesday is the Wednesday Eve holiday nobody asked for.
- Tuesday is the Fyre Festival of weekdays.
- Behind every successful Monday is a Tuesday telling it what to do.
- If Tuesday was a drink, it would be decaf coffee.
Best Tuesday Jokes
21. Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says, “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
22. A man walks into a bar on Tuesday afternoon and orders a beer. “Happy hour isn’t until Thursday”, says the bartender. “That’s okay,” replies the man. “I’m not happy.”
23. Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped on Tuesday.
24. What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you on a Tuesday? A Sneak Preview.
25. Why was six afraid of Tuesday? Because Tuesday seven eight nine!
26. I asked my boss if I could have Tuesday off next week. He said, “Monday and Tuesday off? That’s two days. What do you think this is, a long weekend?” I said, “No, just Tuesday.”
27. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Tuesday? A gummy bear!
28. Why do number 3 and number 5 hate Tuesday so much? Because Tuesday is right between them!
29. Why was Tuesday so tired? It followed a long weekend!
30. I hate Tuesdays. Or as I like to call it, Monday Again.
31. Monday: Ugh, it’s Monday.
Tuesday: Ugh, it’s still Monday.
32. My boss tried calling me into work on my day off Tuesday. I said, “Sorry, I Tuesday off.”
33. Why is Tuesday so windy? Because no one wants to go to Wednesday!
34. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho Cheese. What do you call cheese that’s not yours on Tuesday? Nacho Tuesday Cheese.
35. Why couldn’t Tuesday ride a bike? It’s two tired!
36. Why was Tuesday arrested? It was caught tres-passing on Monday!
37. Why doesn’t Tuesday ever feel hungry? Because it just ate (8) Monday!
38. Why did the calendar think Tuesday was out of shape? Because it skipped leg day!
39. What do you call a sad cup of coffee on Tuesday? Depresso.
40. Why did the hipster burn his tongue on Tuesday? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
41. How does Moses make his coffee on Tuesday mornings? Hebrews it.
42. What kind of shorts do clouds wear on Tuesdays? Thunderwear!
43. Tuesday just called and said the sky is falling, I guess we’ll find out on Wednesday.
I hope you enjoy these 53 funny Tuesday jokes! Let me know if you need any other joke listicles written.
