Spice Puns
1. I made a playlist for baking, it’s full of hits from Salt-N-Pepa.
2. I was gonna make a joke about paprika, but it would probably fall flat.
3. My friend got angry when I put too much oregano in the pasta. I guess he couldn’t handle thethyme.
4. I entered a spice pun contest, but sadly none of my entries made the cut. Apparently the judges thought they were too derivative.
5. I tried to think of a turmeric pun but couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t too corny.
6. Working at the spice factory was just a temporary job. I was just there to make ends meet.
7. I bought a new spice rack but had to return it. It didn’t have enough space for all my herbs and spices.
8. Why do peppers make terrible comedians? Because their jokes all fall flat.
9. What do you call stolen seasoning? Hot goods.
10. What do you call a lazy spice? Shiftless.
11. Why was the gingerbread man looking down in the dumps? He was feeling crumby.
12. Why don’t egos make good spices? Because they’re too self-centered.
13. How do you fix an ailing cumin plant? Give it tumeric.
14. What do you call a small pepper that’s easily offended? A baby bell take offense.
15. How do you stop a charging cayenne pepper? Take away its jalapeno business.
16. What is a pumpkin’s favorite spice? Pumpkin spice.
Spice One-Liners
17. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
18. I’m glad I know sign language. It’s become quite handy.
19. Isn’t it funny how the word ‘therapist’ breaks down into ‘the rapist’?
20. My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician.
21. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
22. If you keep smelling smoke, maybe it’s thyme to change the battery in your smoke detector.
23. I wondered why the ingredients took so long to mix together, but I guess some things just need thyme.
24. My neighbor keeps asking to borrow spices. I think he’s just trying to get a rise out of me.
25. I wanted to make a joke about sodium, but Na..
26. I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
27. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
28. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.
29. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
30. I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Best Spice Jokes
31. My friend hated the meal I cooked for him the other night. He said the spice levels were all over the place and the meat was too dry. I guess he just couldn’t handle a little salt and pepper.
32. I accidentally knocked over the spices at the grocery store the other day. The manager came over immediately and started yelling at me to get out. I guess I was just too much to cumin at once.
33. My wife asked me to pass the salt at dinner but I accidentally passed her pepper instead. She sneezed so hard that her food flew across the room. I guess I should have just done what she had axed for.
34. I entered my dog in a chili cook off contest, but he ended up eating the ingredients. Now he’s in the backyard howling and whining nonstop. I guess he bit off more than he could chow.
35. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
36. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
37. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
38. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
39. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
40. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
41. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
42. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
43. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
44. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
45. I’m glad I know sign language. It’s become quite handy.
46. Why can’t a bicycle stand on its own? It’s two tired.
47. Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
48. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
49. My wife said I never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold flowers!
50. Do you know where you can find giant snails? On the ends of giant’s fingers.
51. I lost my watch at a party once. I decided to let it go and have a good time anyway.
52. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
53. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
54. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
55. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.
56. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
57. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
58. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
