Snail Puns
1. What do you call a snail that’s won a prize? A snail of fame!
2. Why don’t snails like to share? They’re shellfish.
3. What do you call a snail on a ship? A sailor.
4. Why did the snail paint an S on his car? So people would say “Look at that escargot!”
5. What do you call a snail that’s really slow? A snail’s pace.
6. Why aren’t snails ever late? They always carry their own shelter.
7. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on a turtle’s back? “Wheeeee!”
8. How does a snail communicate? By shell phone.
9. Why did the snail paint a lightning bolt on his shell? He wanted to be a fast escargot.
10. What’s a snail’s least favorite mode of transportation? Snail mail.
11. Why do snails make great spies? They’re masters of shellter and disguise.
12. What do you call a snail who works out? Snail Vin Diesel.
Snail One-Liners
13. Snails may be slow, but they always get there in the end.
14. Snails carry their homes on their backs – they’re always house hunting!
15. Snails are always on the move, just very, very slowly.
16. Snails are proof that slow and steady wins the race.
17. Snails don’t speed, they escargot.
18. Be like a snail, carry your house with you.
19. Snails never have to worry about becoming homeless.
20. Snails are nature’s slowest travelers.
21. Snails may be slow but their shells are cool.
22. Snails set the pace for slow living.
Best Snail Jokes
23. What do you get if you cross a snail with a rabbit? A bunny that has to be escargot everywhere.
24. What do you call a snail with a sports car? A slug-bug.
25. What did the little snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle’s back? Whee!
A little snail really wanted to travel fast but his slow snail body couldn’t go very fast. He decided to climb onto the turtle’s back and take a ride. As the turtle started moving, the little snail shouted “Whee!” and enjoyed the fast ride.
26. Why did the snail paint a big S on his car? He wanted people to say “Look at that S car go!”
A snail loved fast sports cars but knew he could never drive one since he moved so slowly. He came up with a clever idea to paint a big S on the side of his small snail car. That way people would say “Look at that S car go!” as he drove slowly by and he could pretend he was driving a fast sports car.
27. Why do snails make great spies? They’re masters of shell-ter and disguise.
Snails carry their homes on their backs, making them experts at finding shelter quickly. Their shells also allow them to hide and disguise themselves wherever they go. For these reasons, snails have all the qualities of a great spy – they can secretly sneak around, quickly hide, and blend into their surroundings with their shell disguises.
28. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle’s back? Whee!
A little snail really wanted to travel fast but his slow snail body couldn’t go very fast. He decided to climb onto the turtle’s back and take a ride. As the turtle started moving, the little snail shouted “Whee!” and enjoyed the fast ride.
29. What’s a snail’s least favorite mode of transportation? Snail mail!
Snails are very slow creatures. Therefore, their least favorite way to send messages would be through regular snail mail, which is notoriously slow compared to email, texting, and calling. The idea of relying on the postal service to deliver their messages is torturous for snails!
30. Where do snails go for good books? To the shell-ter!
Since snails carry their homes on their backs, they don’t need libraries for books or shelter like people do. When snails want some peace and quiet for reading, they simply curl up into their shells to enjoy a good book in their portable shelters.
31. What did the snail say to the other snail when they collided? Slow down!
Two snails were inching along slowly when they accidentally bumped into each other. “Hey, slow down!” said one snail to the other. “There’s no need to rush.” The other snail nodded in agreement, and they both continued on their way at their leisurely snail pace.
32. Why did the snail cross the road? To get to the shell station on the other side.
The snail needed to fuel up with some tasty leaves and plants, so he decided to cross the road to get to the shell station where they sold his favorite snacks. It took him a while to cross since he’s so slow, but he made it!
33. What do you call a snail who wins races? A fast escargot!
Most snails are very slow, but this snail was uniquely speedy for his kind. Instead of getting passed by all the other racers, this snail zipped by them all to become the unlikely winner. For his racing prowess, he earned the nickname “fast escargot.”
34. How does a snail say hello? *waves antennae*
Snails don’t speak or vocalize like humans do. Instead, they communicate through body language, like waving their antennae. So if a snail wanted to greet another snail, it would wave its antennae in a friendly snail hello.
35. What’s a snail’s favorite painting style? Cubism!
Snails have spiral-shaped shells that resemble cubes. Since cubism is an art style featuring cubes and geometric shapes, it’s a snail’s favorite painting technique because it reminds them of their own unique shells.
36. Why don’t snails ever get bored? They entertain themselves!
Snails carry their home and food source on their backs, so they are never without shelter or sustenance. This means snails can entertain themselves wherever they go. Whether they’re people-watching, looking at nature, or retreating into their shells, snails always have a way to pass time.
37. Why did the snail want a ride in a fast sports car? To go faster than a snail’s pace!
The snail always moved at a very slow speed and dreamed of going fast. When he saw a flashy sports car zoom by, he begged the driver for a ride. He was thrilled to finally travel faster than a snail’s pace and feel the wind blow through his antennae.
38. Why did the snail cross the road, stop halfway, then cross back? To prove he wasn’t spineless!
Snails don’t actually have spines or backbones. So when this snail was called spineless, he became determined to prove he did have guts. He bravely crossed halfway, then went back to show he had enough courage to do a daring snail crossing.
39. Where do snails hang out together? The Shell Station!
Snails love to gather at the Shell Station, a cool snail hangout spot. There they can meet up with other snail friends, grab a bite to eat, and chillax in their shells listening to music. The Shell Station is the hottest snail destination.
40. How did the snail feel after crawling along the edge of a razor blade? Exhausted!
The snail wanted to prove how determined he was, so he decided to crawl on the sharpest edge he could find. After inching along the razor blade, the snail was drained. But he sure showed his perseverance!
41. Why do snails prefer to travel underground? To more easily tunnel their way to new places!
Snails can burrow underground, keeping them safer from predators while also providing moisture. Moving through loose soil is easier on their soft bodies rather than traveling above ground. Plus, it’s an easier way for snails to navigate to new terrain.
42. Why was the snail sad? He had no one to share his shell with.
This lonely snail watched all the other snails cuddle together in their shells. Since he didn’t have a partner, he had no one to share his shell home with. The poor snail wished he had a fellow snail to keep him company.
43. How does a snail say goodbye? Slowly!
Snails don’t rush anything – goodbyes included! When it’s time to part ways, snails inch away bit by bit while waving their antennae until they’re fully out of sight.
44. Why was the snail given a ticket? For crawling too slow!
The police officer noticed the snail inching along the road at an extremely slow pace. Since he was creating a traffic hazard by holding up cars behind him, the officer wrote the snail a ticket for crawling too slowly!
45. Why did the snail wear suction cups on his feet? To slowly climb up the wall!
The snail wanted to show off his climbing skills, so he attached strong suction cups to his feet. This allowed him to slowly but surely crawl all the way up the wall – quite an impressive feat for a small snail!
46. Why did the snail say the car race was too fast? He prefers to take things slow!
Watching the speedy cars rush around the race track left the snail feeling dizzy. He decided that kind of fast-paced activity wasn’t for him. The snail concluded car racing was just too fast – he prefers to take all things in life slow and steady.
47. Why did the snail crawl around with a sponge on his back? To keep his shell clean!
The snail loved keeping his spiral shell looking shiny and new. He discovered that carrying a sponge on his back helped scrub off dirt and grime as he crawled along, leaving his shell perfectly polished.
48. How did the snail feel after finally reaching the finish line? Sluggish!
Though he was proud for finishing the big race, it took everything out of the snail. Sliding along the track at top snail speed left him utterly sluggish. But some lettuce and rest in his shell would help revive him.
49. What’s a snail’s favorite dance move? The slide!
Known for their sliding locomotion, the slide is a snail’s signature dance move. They inch along rhythmically, moving smoothly on their stomachs from one side to the other. No snail dance party is complete without the slide.
50. Why did the snail decide to run for mayor? He though the town needed to slow down!
Seeing everyone rush around too fast, the snail decided the town needed a leader who promoted a slower pace. He believed taking things slow improved quality of life, so he ran to become mayor on a platform of slowing down.
51. How did the snail feel about finishing the slowest in the marathon? Proud for not abandoning the race!
While the snail inevitably finished in last place, he didn’t let it get him down. He felt great pride for persevering all the way through the marathon despite his slow speed. Not abandoning the race was an accomplishment in itself!
52. Why was the snail upset after getting cut off in traffic? He hates it when drivers are too fast!
The snail was inching along the street when a car sped right in front of him. Being cut off by the impatient, speedy driver made the snail angry. He wished everyone would slow down and drive at his more cautious snail’s pace.
53. Why do snails make great therapists? They’re masters of shell-f care!
A snail’s shell provides security, tranquility, and isolation – qualities also needed for self-care. Snails retreat into their shells for solitude and contemplation. Their shells both protect them and help them reflect internally. For these reasons, snails have an innate ability for exceptional shell-f care as therapists.
