Platypus Puns
1. What do you call a platypus that plays the piano? A platy-pianist!
2. Why don’t platypuses ever win races? They’re always bill-hind!
3. What do you call a grumpy platypus? A pouty-pus!
4. How does a platypus groom itself? With a duckbill and pawyer!
5. Why don’t platypuses wear shoes? They have webbed feet!
6. Why are platypuses never late? They have alarm bills!
7. What do you call a platypus coffee shop? A platy-cafe!
8. Why don’t platypuses give high fives? They only have threes!
9. What do you call a platypus that plays the guitar? A platy-strummer!
10. Why do platypuses hate winter? Because of the cold bill!
11. What do you call a platypus spiritual leader? A guru bill!
12. Why don’t platypuses go to the gym? They already have a bill-in workout!
13. What do you call a line of platypuses? A bill-queue!
14. Why are platypuses good secret keepers? They keep everything on the bill-down!
15. What’s a platypus’s favorite movie genre? Bill-noir!
Platypus One-Liners
16. Platypuses don’t sweat, they just bill-ieve!
17. A platypus walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “I’ll put it on your bill.”
18. What do you call two platypuses in denial? A pair of bill-lievers!
19. The platypus has a bill so it never gets a free lunch.
20. A duckbill a day keeps the doctor away, if you’re a platypus.
21. Platypuses mate by holding tails – it’s how they seal the bill!
22. What’s a platypus’s favorite outdoor activity? Billboarding!
23. Why do platypuses make good lifeguards? They have bills for diving in!
24. Platypuses don’t need umbrellas, their bills keep them dry in the rain.
25. What did the baby platypus get for its birthday? A bill-y card!
26. Platypuses never lend money, they expect you to foot the bill.
27. Platypuses are born swimmers thanks to their natural duckbills.
28. Why are platypuses the only venomous mammals? To make up for the bill!
29. What do you call a platypus in a hurry? An egg-beater!
30. Platypuses are semi-aquatic because their bills hold water.
Best Platypus Jokes
31. What do you get when you cross a platypus and a chicken? An animal that lays its own omelets!
32. How does a platypus feel when it’s angry? It flips its bill!
33. Where do platypuses come from? Platypus eggs, of course!
34. Why did the platypus cross the river? To get to the billside!
35. What did one platypus bill say to the other? “You’re looking quite snout today!”
36. What do you call an glossy platypus picture? A bill-fold!
37. Why don’t platypuses ever pay in cash? They always opt for the bill!
38. Why did the platypus get in trouble at school? For bill-ying the other kids!
39. Where do platypuses keep their money? At the bill-ank!
40. Did you hear about the platypus who wore winter boots? It had cold bill-et tolerance!
41. What do you call a detective platypus who solves crimes? An eye-bill investigator!
42. What do you get if you cross a platypus with an anteater? A duck-billed planteater!
43. Why are platypuses the most sarcastic animals? Because of their sassy bill!
44. What’s a platypus’s favorite horror film? Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey!
45. Why did the platypus get detention? For bill-ing out of class!
46. How does a platypus stay fit? By doing bill-ups!
47. Why did the platypus refuse painkillers after surgery? It preferred to bill naturally.
48. What’s a platypus’s favorite kind of music? Hip bill-hop!
49. Why are platypuses never broke? Because they always bill their clients!
50. Why was the platypus angry after the boat ride? It was over-billed!
51. Why are platypuses not allowed in court? Because they object to every bill!
52. What’s a platypus’s favorite sport? Billiards!
53. Why do platypuses hate getting their picture taken? Because they always end up with large bills!
54. What do you call a platypus beauty pageant? Miss Bill!
55. Why do platypuses make great scientists? Because they test their hypotheses thoroughly before making a bill!
56. Why was the platypus upset after eating at a restaurant? It was charged the bill twice!
57. What’s a platypus’s favorite movie? Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure!
58. Why don’t platypuses go camping? No bills included!
59. How does a platypus know you’re angry? When you give it the bill shoulder!
60. What’s a platypus’s least favorite food? Chili – it burns their bill!
61. Why are platypuses such anxious animals? They have a lot of bills to pay!
62. What’s a platypus’s favorite day of the month? Bill day!
63. How does a platypus defend itself? With bill-dozer techniques!
64. Why did the platypus’s date object at dinner? It kept trying to foot the bill!
65. Why are platypuses good dancers? They know how to bust a bill!