Ocean Puns (30)
1. What do you call a grumpy ocean? A crabby sea!
2. Why was the ocean famous? It had a lot of current fans.
3. I tried to catch fog yesterday but I mist.
4. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
5. Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn prom? He had a whale of a time.
6. What do you call a sleepy ocean? A droozy sea!
7. How does the ocean greet the shore? It waves.
8. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waved.
9. Where do shellfish go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
10. What do you call an underwater dance party? A fish rave.
11. What do you call a clam on the run? A lam on the lam.
12. Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood restaurant? It was shellfish.
13. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? “Dam!”
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
16. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
17. What do you call an Arctic cow? An eskimoo.
18. What do you call a sleepy bear? A grizzzzly.
19. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
20. What do you call a fish wearing a tuxedo? Sofishticated.
21. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
22. How do fish get to work in the morning? By octocopter.
23. Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
24. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? The C.
25. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
26. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
27. What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish.
28. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
29. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
30. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Ocean One-Liners (25)
31. I’m shore you’ll like these ocean jokes.
32. My friend drowned at sea, he will be mist.
33. A day without sunshine is like night.
34. I tried catching some fog earlier. I mist.
35. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
36. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stare.
37. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
38. Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.
39. I used to have a fear of hurdles. But I got over it.
40. Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet? But most only have 4.
41. What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
42. I went to the beach today and got some sand in my eyes. Now I have a beachfront property.
43. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
44. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
45. I couldn’t figure out why the ball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
46. She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
47. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
48. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
49. If you spin a cow around really fast, you get whipped cream.
50. Getting paid to sleep would be a dream job.
51. A termite walks into a bar and says “Hey, is the bar tender here?”
52. What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
53. How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
54. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it.
55. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
Best Ocean Jokes (30)
56. What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam!
A fish was swimming along in a river when he suddenly crashed into a concrete wall. “Dam!” he exclaimed, realizing he had literally run into a dam.
57. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
Oysters are known for producing beautiful pearls, but they never share them with others. This is because oysters are shellfish – they only care about themselves and their pearls. The joke implies oysters are selfish for keeping their pearls to themselves.
58. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
This joke plays on the double meaning of “space.” As an astronaut, the character would normally have plenty of “space” in the outer space sense. However, if he was claustrophobic, he would feel cramped and desire some personal space.
59. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
Octopuses have eight tentacles, so “tentickles” sounds similar to tentacles. The joke is that tickling an octopus with its own tentacles would make it laugh.
60. Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
Crabs are known to be reclusive and self-interested, only looking out for themselves. The joke implies that their selfishness prevents them from being charitable and giving to others.
61. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waved!
This joke personifies the ocean as waving gently at the passing sailboat, when in reality it’s just the motion of the water. It gives the sea human-like qualities.
62. What’s the difference between a northern pike and a southern pike? One is a northern fish and the other is a southern fish!
This joke subverts expectations. You’d expect an actual difference between northern and southern pike fish, but the only difference is their location.
63. How do fish go into business? They start with a small loan from the bank!
This pun jokes that “small loan” sounds like “smell own” – a joke about fish smells. It also references the business practice of taking out loans to start companies.
64. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Claustrophobic!
This pun jokes that “Claustrophobic,” meaning a fear of small spaces, sounds like “Claus-trophobic,” or a fear of Santa Claus. It’s a silly play on words.
65. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
This joke refers to both dropping a fishing line to catch a fish, and communicating with someone by dropping them a letter or note. The double meaning of “line” is the punchline.
66. What fish makes the best sandwich? A peanut butter and jellyfish!
Jellyfish is combined with peanut butter to make a silly underwater spin on the classic sandwich. The joke is the absurdity of a jellyfish in a sandwich.
67. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
This joke combines “bull” and “dozer” – a term for a sleeping person – to create a silly new word: bulldozer. It also references the vehicle called a bulldozer.
68. Where do shrimp go to party? The prawn shop!
This joke takes the term “prawn,” a word for shrimp, and combines it with “prom” for a party pun. Shrimp would go to a “prawn shop” to have fun.
69. What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!
This joke uses wordplay on “tunafish” – a type of fish – to create a silly phrase implying a fish with two knees. The visual is absurd.
70. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They’d crack each other up!
Eggs have “cracked” or broken shells, so the joke is that egg jokes would make other eggs crack up or break from laughter. It’s a pun on “crack up.”
71. Where do shellfish go to get fast money? To the prawn shop!
“Prawn” sounds like “pawn,” playing into the joke that shellfish would pawn off items at a punny “prawn shop” to get quick cash.
72. What did the sardine call the submarine? A can of people!
Sardines are known for being packed tightly into cans. The joke is the sardine sees the compact submarine as a giant can of people.
73. What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Pick a cod, any cod!
This playing card joke references the common phrase “Pick a card, any card.” But it’s adjusted for an ocean pun using “cod,” a type of fish.
74. How do oysters get to work? By shell-icopter!
The joke implies oysters would travel via a silly made-up vehicle that combines “shell” and “helicopter.
75. What do you get from nervous clams? Clammy hands!
“Clammy hands” refers to when people get sweaty palms from being nervous or anxious. The joke links this to clams in a literal sense.
76. Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the ocean? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat!
This joke plays on the visual of divers rolling backwards off boats. If they fell the other way, they wouldn’t end up in the water.
77. What fish is made of only two sodium atoms? 2 Na! (Tuna!)
This chemistry joke refers to the chemical symbol for sodium being Na. Two sodium atoms would be 2 Na, which sounds like “tuna.”
78. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds!
This joke is a pun on the phrase “went back for seconds,” implying the clock was very hungry so it reversed itself by four seconds.
79. What did the ocean say to the whale? Nothing, it just waved!
The ocean waves as the whale passes by. The joke personifies the ocean as greeting the whale.
80. Why was the hammerhead shark good at testing? Because it was a whiz at taking pop quizzes!
The hammerhead is said to be a good test taker due to its distinctive “hammer” shaped head. The joke is that it would be great at pop quizzes.
81. What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open-toad sandals!
This pun takes “open-toed sandals” and turns it into a frog joke by changing “toed” to “toad,” referring to the amphibian.
82. What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and the other will see you in a while!
This joke refers to how “see you later” sounds like “alligator” and “see you in a while” sounds like “crocodile.
83. Did you hear about the seahorse that went to college? She got her B.Sea degree!
Seahorses are ocean creatures. The joke uses wordplay on “BS/Bachelor of Science degree” for a punny ocean version.
84. What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved!
In this piratical version, the ocean still personified as greeting the pirate ship by waving as it sails by.
85. Why are dolphins smarter than humans? Because they live in a university!
This joke claims dolphins are intelligent thanks to living in oceans, which sound like “uni-versity” – a play on university for education.
