Kids Puns
1. What do you call a nap time for chickens? A siesta clucksta!
2. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They wear snowcaps.
3. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
6. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
7. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
8. How does the ocean say hi? It waves.
9. What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
10. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
11. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
12. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
13. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
14. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
15. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
Kids One-Liners
16. I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
17. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
18. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
19. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
20. Two antennas got married. The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was incredible.
21. I used to have a handle on life but then it broke.
22. Always borrow money from a pessimist, they never expect it back.
23. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
24. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
25. I’m glad I know sign language. It’s become quite handy.
26. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
27. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
28. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
29. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
30. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
Best Kids Jokes
31. Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine!
32. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
33. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
34. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador. This clever pup not only does magic tricks, but he makes things disappear too! One time he made my homework vanish before my eyes.
35. Why did the pickle cross the road? To get to the dill on the other side!
36. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. This funny bear is always smiling, even though he has no teeth! He loves to eat gummy worms and sour straws.
37. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! Eggs have to be very careful when telling jokes otherwise they might literally crack up from laughing too hard.
38. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall! This sour joke reminds me of lemon drop candies, which are sweet and tangy.
39. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! This napping bull rolls around and flattens everything in sight when he’s sleeping.
40. Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher told him it was a piece of cake! I guess the student took the expression a bit too literally and gobbled up his math homework.
41. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They wear snowcaps! This geographical joke reminds me of snow-covered mountains staying cozy in their winter hats.
42. What do you call two bananas? A pair of slippers! This fruit-inspired joke always makes me smile.
43. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed! This funny joke combines art and crime in one punchline.
44. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y! Going to the dentist bright and early avoids the toothache!
45. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands! Peter Pan is always soaring through the sky and never touches down in one place for too long.
46. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet! It takes a lot of preparation to host an out-of-this-world shindig.
47. Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania! Even writing utensils need a break sometimes.
48. Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze! This oceanic joke reminds me that sharks are sensitive creatures too.
49. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste! You’ll want to squirt out a nice melody with this funny instrument.
50. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus! Computers can get sick too, but a software update should help.
51. Why are frogs always so happy? They eat whatever bugs them! These amphibians have a carefree attitude.
52. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles! Octopuses are known for having eight ticklish tentacles.
53. How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave! The oceans love to have friendly conversations.
54. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! With the wave of his paw, this clever canine makes treats appear out of nowhere.
55. Where does a bee go when he wants a ride? To the buzz-stop! Bees are always zipping around from flower to flower.
56. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy! Cookies need medical care too when they’re not feeling well.
57. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie-talkie! This hybrid animal can get around and chat it up.
58. Why was the broom late for work? It overswept! This cleaning tool definitely needed an extra bit of shut-eye.
59. What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha! Motorcycles find humor in the everyday too.
60. I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist. It’s tricky getting a grip on those elusive foggy wisps.
61. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they’re all in high school! These tall animals get their education with older students.
62. What do you give an elephant with big feet? Big shoes! Elephants need comfy footwear in their size.
63. What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence! That elephant definitely smashed the fence to smithereens.
64. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with shellfish? An oyster bunny! This funny mashup animal will give you pearls of wisdom.
65. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! Eggs have to watch their humor around other eggs.
66. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste! Squeeze out a tune while brushing your teeth.
67. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because he was stuffed! This plush toy was already full from the main meal.
68. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honey comb! Bees get their special grooming from honeycombs.
69. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! The cookie was upset that his mom took a while to get home from work.
70. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam! This silly prank paired two sticky situations together.
71. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe! This indecisive bee has trouble deciding where to land.
72. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese! Be sure to ask before taking someone else’s cheesy snack.
73. Why did the opera singer go sailing? To hit the high Cs! Opera singers love adventuring out on the high seas.
74. Why does peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth? It’s trying to stick up for you! Peanut butter wants to be supportive in its own sticky way.
75. What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock! A clock striking 13 instead of 12 needs repair right away.