Eat Puns
1. I relish a good hot dog whenever I get the chance to eat one.
2. My friend got food poisoning from undercooked chicken. I told him he shouldn’t eat crow next time.
3. The snack factory was very busy making pretzels. You could say they were tied up in knots.
4. The overeater joined Weight Watchers to try and curb his appetite. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
5. The competitive eater knew he bit off more than he could chew when he tried to eat 50 hot dogs.
6. The baby eats strained peas because he’s missing some teef.
7. I made a playlist of songs about food. It has some great hits and a few misstakes.
8. The chef was cooking with too much Greese, he needed to olive it alone.
9. The hungry pirate was excited to eat some arrrrrtichokes.
10. The salad contained only iceberg lettuce. It was lacking variety and cheese.
11. The cannibal had to meat his nutrition goals for the day.
12. The fussy eater turned his nose up at broccoli. He preferred to nibble on choco-latte.
13. The chef prepared an elegant meal with just a dash of salt. He wanted to whet their appetites.
14. The kids were excited to make s’mores while camping. They planned to toast some marshmellows.
Eat One-Liners
15. I’m on a seafood diet – I eat food, and then I sea food.
16. They say you are what you eat. I don’t remember eating a legend.
17. I told my suit it’s time to retire. It just didn’t fit me anymore.
18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy food, and that’s close enough.
19. So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world.
20. I’m glad I know sign language. It’s becoming quite handy.
21. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
22. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
23. Always borrow money from pessimists. They never expect it back.
24. Hip dysplasia sounds pretty cool. Is that some kind of hip hop?
Best Eat Jokes
25. A man walked into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of chili. After taking one bite, he called the waiter over and said, “Taste this chili for me please.” The waiter said, “Is something wrong with it sir?” The man replied, “No, I just can’t tell if it needs more pepper.”
26. A chef got frustrated trying to bake a cake. He kept making a mess of the kitchen and burning the cakes. Finally, he threw his apron on the counter and shouted, “I can’t take this anymore! Baking is a piece of cake!”
27. A man sat down at a restaurant and asked the waiter what the special was. The waiter said, “We have a delicious duck.” The man asked, “What do you recommend to have with the duck?” The waiter replied, “Quackers.”
28. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
29. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
30. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crummy.
31. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
32. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie-talkie!
33. Why was the broom late for school? It over-swept!
34. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
35. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!
36. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
37. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
38. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
39. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
40. Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might get sunburned!
Eat Puns
41. The hungry traveler stopped at a taco truck to eat. He was craving something meaty.
42. The dessert chef prepared a beautiful strawberry tart. It was a work of art.
43. The dinner guests were disappointed with the portion sizes. The host didn’t want to spoon feed them.
44. The kids got creative with their lunches. They used cookie cutters to make fun sandwich shapes.
45. The chef prepared an elegant plate presentation. He wanted to serve it in courses.
46. The salad contained only carrots and celery. The chef knew it was good for the health.
47. The hungry child wanted ice cream for breakfast. His request was à la mode.
48. The dinner party had a tropical theme. The menu featured pineapple and mango chutney.
49. The impatient diner kept glancing around for the waiter. He was ready to order entrée.
50. The dinner guests dressed formally in gowns and tuxedos. It was a black-tie pasta affair.
Eat One-Liners
51. I’m on a new diet. I only eat food that swims. So far, I’ve lost three pounds and thrown up twice!
52. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
53. Singing in the shower is fun until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s just a soap opera.
54. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
55. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
56. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
57. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
58. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
59. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me. It means a lot.
60. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
Best Eat Jokes
61. One day a man walked into a cafe and ordered a bowl of chili. When the waitress brought it to him, he took one bite and immediately called her back over. “Excuse me, miss? Can you taste this for me and tell me if it needs anything?” The waitress was puzzled but tasted the chili. “No sir, it tastes fine to me. Is something wrong with it?” The man replied, “Oh good, yeah it’s perfect. I just can’t taste anything today because I have COVID.”
62. A family walked into a restaurant and the waiter told them about the day’s special: Braised lamb shanks in a red wine sauce. The parents said that sounded great. Their kid made a face and said, “Yuck! I’ll just have chicken nuggets.” The dad laughed and said to the waiter, “Sorry, he’s going through a baaad phase.
63. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have anty-bodies!
64. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
65. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
66. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
67. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator!
68. The wedding cake was very stiff and stale. I guess you could say it had a lot of layers.
69. Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
70. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Eat Puns
71. The dinner guests were confused by all the extra utensils. The meal required silverware etiquette.
72. The picky eater carefully dissected his sandwich. He wanted to extract the onions.
73. The hungry backpackers prepared packets of instant oatmeal. It was a filling meal.
74. The dinner party stretched late into the evening. It was time to serve dessert and digestifs.
75. The dinner conversation avoided politics and religion. The host wanted to keep it light.
76. The potluck sign-up sheet was filled with duplications. Everyone brought potato salad.
77. The kids wanted pizza and soda for dinner. The parents tried to serve a balanced meal.
78. The Thanksgiving dinner took hours to prepare. The turkey needed time to roast.
79. The restaurant patron sent back undercooked chicken. Food safety was a priority.
80. The dinner guests dressed up in ornate costumes. It was a themed meal event.
Eat One-Liners
81. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
82. Meatloaf again? Mom must be trying to get out of cooking for a week.
83. I entered 10 puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
84. Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
85. Hungry robber: “Give me all your money!” Dog: “Woof!” Robber: “Oh I’m sorry, I thought you were a bank.”
