Camel Puns
1. What do you call a camel that likes to eat spicy food? A jalapeño humpper!
2. Why don’t camels like hot weather? Because they’ll get a heat rash!
3. How do camels stay connected in the desert? They use their dune phones!
4. Why do camels walk in single file lines? So they don’t take up two humps of space!
5. What do you call a camel who is an expert on deserts? A sand-wich!
6. Why are camels so good at math? Because they have two humps to count on!
7. What do you call a camel that works as a doctor? A first hump responder!
8. Why don’t camels like rain? It makes them feel dampened!
9. What do you call a camel that loves music? Humphy-D!
10. Why do camels make great photographers? They’re excellent at capturing dunes!
Camel One-Liners
11. I was going to tell a joke about a camel, but it had two humps in it.
12. I’d tell you a joke about a camel, but it might spit on you.
13. Don’t interrupt a camel when they’re telling a story, they get the hump.
14. I took my camel to the vet. Turns out it was just a little horse.
15. I bought my friend a camel for their birthday. Safe to say, it went down a hump.
16. If you give a camel a cookie, they’ll ask for a gallon of milk to go with it.
17. I was going to make a joke about camels, but I didn’t want to raise any humps.
18. Never ask a camel for fashion advice, they only wear one hump fits all.
19. Camels store water in their humps, I store dad jokes in mine.
20. Want to hear a joke about a camel? Forget it, it’s too long.
Best Camel Jokes
21. A man was stranded in the desert with only a camel for company. After a few days, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Camel, I’m desperate. For God’s sake, tell me a joke!” The camel replied, “I’m sorry, I only know one joke and it’s pretty lame.” The man shouted, “I don’t care how bad it is! Tell me a joke!” “Alright,” said the camel. “A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Why the long face?'” The man starts laughing hysterically. The camel looks confused and asks, “Was it that funny?” The man replies, “No, but in a desert, even a lame joke is hilarious!”
22. A wealthy businessman was lost in the desert when he came across a tent. He went inside and found a camel sitting there. “Please,” said the businessman, “Can you give me a ride out of this desert?” “Of course!” said the camel. “But I don’t work for free. I charge $100 per mile.” The businessman needed to get home so he agreed. He climbed onto the camel’s back and they set off. After a few miles, the businessman realized the camel was walking incredibly slowly. “Why are you walking so slow?” he asked. “I don’t want this trip to end too soon!” replied the camel. “I’m making $100 per mile!”
23. Three camels were discussing what they would most like to be if they weren’t camels. The first said, “I would want to be an eagle so I could soar above the desert sands.” The second said, “I’d want to be a lion, the king of beasts.” The third camel thought for a minute before replying, “I’d like to be a man’s wife.” The other camels glared at him in shock. “Why on earth would you want to be someone’s wife?” The third camel said, “Have you seen the weird stuff they have their wives wear on their heads?”
24. A man decided to buy a camel from a local market. The trader said, “Oh, this camel is special. It can go days without water if you train it right.” Intrigued, the man bought the camel. As soon as they got home, the camel collapsed on the ground looking dead. The man panicked and called the trader. “What happened? You said this camel can go days without water and we haven’t even walked half a mile.” The trader replied, “Did you tie a rope around its neck?” The man said, “No, why?” The trader said, “This camel is trained to fall down when it thinks it’s reached an oasis!”
25. Three men were stranded in the desert when they came across a nomad riding a camel. They begged him for help. He said, “My camel can only carry two people at most. But I can take one person back to my camp which has water and supplies.” So two of the men started arguing over who should go. The third man, who understood the nomad’s language, quietly climbed up the camel and sat behind the nomad. The nomad asked, “Why’d you do that? Now only one of your friends can come.” The third man replied, “When those two finish arguing, just pretend you don’t know English and let’s get out of here.”
26. A man decided to buy a camel so he could explore the Sahara desert. He asked the camel salesman, “How much can this camel carry on its back?” The salesman thought about it and said, “About 1000 pounds. But no matter how much he is carrying, you must say these magic words to make him stand up: Humphrey! Stand up, Humphrey!” The man bought the camel and they set off into the desert. After a few miles, the camel collapsed under the weight. The man remembered what to say to make the camel stand up again. “Humphrey! Stand up, Humphrey!” he shouted. The camel just groaned. The man repeated himself but still no movement. Losing patience, the man yelled, “Humphrey, I’m telling you to get up!” The weary camel lifted his head and whispered, “My name’s not Humphrey, it’s Joe.”
27. A man was lost in the desert, frantically searching for water. He had almost given up hope when he suddenly came upon a tent. Inside, there was a magician and his camel. The man pleaded for water. The magician replied, “I will give you all the water you need, if you can make my camel disappear.” The man quickly picked up a bucket of water and chugged it. He handed the empty bucket back to the magician and said, “Poof. It’s gone!”
28. A man was riding his camel through the desert when a voice from above said “You have been a faithful servant, I shall grant you three wishes.” The man thought for a while then said “I wish for a never ending supply of food and water for me and my camel.” No sooner had he finished speaking that a magical oasis appeared in front of them. The man and the camel ate and drank until they were full. The voice spoke again “You have two wishes left. What is your next wish?” The man answered “I wish to be rescued from this desert.” Instantly a helicopter appeared and rescued the man. The voice said “Your last wish?” The man replied “This desert gets awfully lonely. I wish my camel could talk.” The camel looked at his owner and said “My friend, do you think I would have allowed you to waste your wishes this way if I could talk?”
29. A wealthy man decided to go on a trek across the Sahara desert, bringing packs full of the finest foods and wines. He hired the strongest camel in the market to carry his supplies. The first day, the camel strode easily across the sand with the heavy load. But the second day, the camel suddenly stopped walking and sat down. “What’s wrong?” yelled the man. “Why aren’t you walking?” The camel replied, “Look master, we still have a long way to go. Let’s start drinking some of that wine before it gets too hot.” The man paused, surprised that the camel could talk. Then he opened a bottle of wine and they drank together. After that, the camel cheerfully got up and carried the man across the desert. Moral: A camel is smarter than its humps appear.
30. A family was crossing the desert on camelback when their camel suddenly let out a noise and collapsed. “What happened?” cried the children. The father inspected the camel and answered gravely, “I’m afraid our camel has passed away.” The mother was upset. “What are we going to do now? We’re stuck here!” The father thought for a moment, then had an idea. “No problem. We’ll just get the camel wet, freeze him solid overnight, and skate our way across the desert tomorrow!” The kids were skeptical. “Really dad? Will that work?” The father nodded wisely. “Sure kids, it’s just basic camel-lation.”
31. Three camels were sitting in the desert swapping stories about their adventures with humans. The first camel said, “My owner was a kind old man, but every day he piled 500 pounds of straw on my back. It took all my strength not to collapse!” The second camel nodded understandingly. “That’s nothing. My owner made me carry his whole tent, pots, bags, everything! I could barely stand.” The third camel scoffed. “You both had it easy. My owner made me drink 20 gallons of water and then tried climbing on top to float across the desert!” The other camels gasped. “What did you do?” The third camel replied, “I spit him off and stomped on him of course. Nobody rides me for free!”
32. A man was riding his camel through the desert when suddenly his cell phone rang. He answered the call and began loudly talking into the phone about some work issues. This startled the camel, who got spooked and took off running into the desert, bucking wildly. The man dropped his phone and held on tightly to the camel, yelling for the camel to stop. Eventually the camel calmed down and came to a halt. The man picked up his phone again and called his friend. “Hey it’s me. You won’t believe what just happened – I was riding a camel through the desert when you called, and I guess the ringtone must have scared him because he took off running like crazy!” His friend responded, “That’s unbelievable! Hey real quick…you said you’re on a camel, right?” “Yeah, why?” asked the man. The friend paused and said, “How exactly did you get reception out there?”
