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75 Funny Blind Jokes

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75 Funny Blind Jokes

Blind Puns

  1. I went to an auction where they were selling some braille books. I decided not to bid though, because I couldn’t read between the lines.
  2. My blind friend got a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
  3. I asked my blind friend if he wanted to hear a really offensive joke. He said, “I’m not gonna see it, so sure!”
  4. I told my blind friend about the new restaurant called “View.” He said, “I’ll go, but I doubt I’ll enjoy the scenery.”
  5. My blind friend fell into a well yesterday. He couldn’t see that well.
  6. Did you hear about the recent protest by blind people? It was an eye-opening experience.
  7. I told my blind friend to come over and feel the texture of my new couch. He said “I’ll take your word for it.”
  8. My blind friend got a new seeing eye dog. He says the leash gives him a new outlook on life.
  9. I asked my blind friend, “Can you see what I’m saying?” He said “I don’t need eyes to see your point.”
  10. My blind friend was describing people to me at a party last night. I said “How are you doing that if you’re blind?” He said “I’m just taking a shot in the dark.”
  11. My blind friend recently got into archery. I asked how he aims so well without seeing. He said, “It’s all about focusing on your inner vision.”

Blind One-Liners

  1. My blind friend fell into a well yesterday. He couldn’t see that well.
  2. I told my blind friend, “Long time no see!” He said, “Yep, still blind.”
  3. Don’t mention the elephant in the room to a blind person.
  4. My blind friend just got a dog. He named it Cinema.
  5. Blind people don’t like reckless driving. It really opens their eyes.
  6. My blind friend hates skydiving. He says it scares him to death.
  7. My blind friend just goes with the flow. He doesn’t like to see where it takes him.
  8. My blind friend got fired from his job as a Proofreader. He didn’t see that coming.
  9. My blind friend fell into a well yesterday. He couldn’t see that well.
  10. I told my blind friend about the new restaurant called “View.” He said, “I’ll go, but I doubt I’ll enjoy the scenery.”
  11. My blind friend hates football. He never gets to see any touchdowns.
  12. My blind friend recently got into archery. He says it helps improve his inner vision.
  13. My blind friend just goes with the flow. He doesn’t care where life takes him.
  14. My blind friend loves camping at night. He says days are too bright for him.
  15. My blind friend got fired from the paint factory. He didn’t see the spill coming.

Best Blind Jokes

  1. I told my blind friend to come over and feel the texture of my new couch. He sat down and said “Yep, feels like a couch.”
  2. My blind friend was giving a speech about overcoming adversity. He started by saying “I can’t see half of you, but I know you’re all beautiful people.”
  3. My blind friend hates reckless driving. He says it really opens his eyes to how dangerous the roads can be.
  4. I was describing people to my blind friend at a party last night. He laughed and said “How am I supposed to know what these people look like?” I said “Just take it at face value.”
  5. My blind friend tried out for American Idol last week. The judges took one look at him and said “It’s gonna be a no from me.”
  6. My blind friend got a job proofreading. I don’t know how he didn’t see that coming.
  7. I asked my blind friend, “Can you see what I’m saying?” He laughed and said “I don’t need eyes to see your point.”
  8. My blind friend hates scary movies. He says they’re too much to take in visually.
  9. Did you hear about the recent protest by blind people? Hundreds turned up and began chanting “We will not be unseen!”
  10. My blind friend loves camping at night. He says days are just too bright for his sensitive eyes.
  11. My blind friend fell into a well yesterday. I told him “Looks like you couldn’t see that well.”
  12. My blind friend just got a dog. I asked what he named it. He said “No Idea.”
  13. I told my blind friend, “Look over there!” He turned his head and said “Very funny…”
  14. Don’t mention the elephant in the room to a blind person. They probably won’t appreciate the irony.
  15. My blind friend hates football. He says he never gets to see any touchdowns.