Bison Puns
- What do you call a bison that graduated from medical school? A doctor bison.
- How do bison keep their fur looking good? With bison conditioning.
- Why don’t bison eat dessert? They’re watching their bisugar intake.
- What do you call a sleeping bison? A bison zzz.
- How does a bison send a quick message? Bison text.
- Why do bison make great singers? They have perfect pitch.
- What do you call a bison who does magic tricks? A bison illusionist.
- Why do bison make great detectives? They’re good at bison vestigations.
- What do you call a bison that works in an office? A bisoness professional.
- How does a bison access the internet? With bison-fi.
Bison One-Liners
- I went bison tipping last night, it was over in a flash.
- They say bison can’t jump high, but that’s a bunch of bull.
- My bison got a job as a gardener, now he’s making me mow the lawn.
- Bison acting is just a game of buffalo.
- My friend saw a bison using a calculator, he said it was a buffalo thing.
- I saw a bison wearing high heels, she said it helps with her calf raises.
- If you give a bison a muffin, it’ll probably ask for some bisquits too.
- I entered my bison in a beauty pageant, he took home the crown.
- Bison don’t actually have wings but you can’t buffalo a buffalo.
- If you tickle a bison, expect some push back.
Best Bison Jokes
1. A family of bison decided to go on a road trip vacation. As they were driving through the countryside, they passed by a herd of cows grazing in a field. The little baby bison rolled down his window and yelled to the cows, “Bison bye cows!”
2. What do you get when you cross a bison with fireworks? A buffalo rocket! The 4th of July show was going great until they launched the buffalo rocket. It took off into the sky with flashes of light, whizzing and whirling until it exploded with a giant BOOM! Bits of fur and sparkles rained down as the crowd erupted in cheers and applause.
3. Why don’t bison eat at fast food restaurants? They don’t like drive-throughs! What do you call a bison who’s ordering takeout? A buffalo pick-up! A bison walked into a diner and ordered a buffalo burger to go. The waitress said, “Would you like fries with that?” The bison replied, “No thanks, I have to herbivore.”
4. How do you fit 10 bison in a car? 2 in the front seats, 2 in the back seats, and 6 in the trunkcerus! What do you call a bison that crosses the road? An ambulance. What do you get if you cross a bison with a porcupine? Pierced bison. Why did the bison get a detention at school? It was a buffalo on campus.
5. Where do bison go to drink? The bison bar! Walked into a bison bar last night and the bartender says, “What can I get for you?” I replied, “How much for a beer?” The bartender said, “For you, no charge.” Why are bison bars so popular? The atmosphere is always chargrilling. Why did the bison get kicked out of the bar? It kept asking for drinks on the hoof.
6. What’s a bison’s favorite sport? Buffaloball! Why do bison love basketball so much? They’re good at bisonketball. What’s a bison’s favorite NFL team? The Buffalo Bills. Did you hear about the bison who tried out for the Broncos? He didn’t make the team, but it was worth a shot buffalo.
7. Why can’t you take a bison on a date to get pizza? Because it will order extra cheese and buffalo wings! What do you call a sleeping bison? A buffa-snore! Why do bison make great school teachers? They’re very good at buffalonometry. What do you get if you cross a bison with a rabbit? A fuzzy buffaluff!
8. How does a bison get to work everyday? It takes the buffalotrain! Why are bison so productive at the office? They’re skilled at buffalotasking. Knock knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to hear another bison joke?
9. What do you call an happy bison? A buffalo smile! What bison is good at jump rope? Buffalo calf roper. Why was the baby bison crying? It lost its buffalodo. How does a bison stop a music disk from playing? It buffalopauses it.
10. Why don’t bison tell jokes? They find puns too buffaloing! What happens when two bison crash into each other? A buffalocation. I was going to tell a joke about a bison, but it was too cheesy.
11. Why did the bison enroll its calf in boxing lessons? It wanted to buffa-lo the competition! What has two horns and gives milk? A buffalodo! Why don’t bison live in igloos? Because they would rather have a buffahome!
12. What do you call a sleeping baby bison? A buffala-nap! How do bison compete over who has the most endurance? They have a buffamarathon. Why are bison the most optimistic animals on the farm? They look at everything on the bisonny side.
13. Why do bison hate hot air balloons? They prefer to avoid the buffaloon! How did the bison feel about getting a coupon in the mail? Absolutely buffastatic! What do you get if you cross a bison with a lemon? Sour buffalo.
14. Why do bison make great singers? They have perfect pitch. What do you call a bison that works in an office? A bisoness professional. How does a bison access the internet? With bison-fi.
15. What do you call a sleeping baby bison? A buffa-nana. Why was the mommy bison mad at her child? He was being a buffa-brat! How can you tell a bison misses its friends? It looks buffalonely.
16. Why don’t bison ever win staring contests? They always buffa-blink first! What’s a bison’s favorite day of the week?BUFFA-FRIDAY! How does a bison party? It buffaraves!
17. Why don’t bison eat grits and polenta? Because they’re strictly buffa-farians! What do you call a website designed for bison? The Buffanet! What do you call a large group of partying bison? A buffarade!
18. Why don’t bison live at the North Pole? Because it’s too buffa-freezing there! How do bison keep warm in winter? They wear buffascarves! What do you call a baby bison born in December? A buffmas calf!
19. Why do bison love country music? It speaks to their buffa-hearts! What do you call a sad bison? The blue buffalo. Why are bison so good at playing blues music? They have soulful buffa-loes!
20. How does a bison catch its prey? With its buffa-lo grip! Why do bison make the best detectives? They’re skilled at bisonvestigation! What do you call a bison that travels a lot? A buffa-lo jetsetter!
