I’m not a fan of the sand on the beach. It gets everywhere! I guess you could say I’m not a fan of da sand.
The beach is a great place to relax. You can just coast along.
My friend got buried in the sand at the beach. Luckily we were able to dig him out, he’s fine sand dandy now.
I wanted to enter the sandcastle building contest at the beach, but I didn’t have the time to make anything grand. I settled with making a sandwich instead.
The beach isn’t always fun and games. Sometimes you have to face the harsh son.
I tried to go fishing off the pier at the beach, but didn’t catch anything. I guess the fish weren’t biting that day. What a crummy day.
My friend brought a frisbee to the beach, but the wind kept blowing it away before we could toss it. We just couldn’t catch a break.
I saw two kids at the beach making a big hole. It was quite a site for sore eyes.
My friend got stung by a jellyfish at the beach. I told him to stay positive.
I entered a sandcastle building contest at the beach, but lost to a girl who made an amazing creation. I gotta hand it to her, she deserved to win.
I had a great time boogie boarding at the beach today. I just went with the flow.
The snack bar at the beach charges way too much. Their prices are highway robbery, I tell ya.
I got a really bad sunburn at the beach today. I’m feeling a little crispy around the edges.
The waves at the beach were monstrous today. It was a straight up tidal wave of fun.
My shoulders got sunburned at the beach. It was a real pain in the brass.
The beach is full of sun, sand, and sights. You can sea it all there.
My friend buried me in the sand at the beach today. I was a little ashed at first but eventually just went with the flow.
I saw a group of bodybuilders at the beach flexing and posing for pictures. They were really soaking up the vitamin sea.
My sister got stung by a jellyfish at the beach. I told her she’ll feel better eventually, she just has to stay jellyfish.
I tried to bury my friend in the sand at the beach, but he wriggled free. I guess I underestimated the sand man.
My friend shotgunned a beer at the beach and then chucked the can into the ocean. What a beach!
I saw a group of kids making a huge sandcastle at the beach today. It was a pretty ambitious feet.
My friend fell asleep on the beach without any sunscreen. Let’s just say he ended up getting well done.
I love collecting seashells at the beach. It really helps me coast through the day.
We had a great time playing volleyball at the beach. We really went for the spike.
My friend said this beach we went to had no crabs. I told him maybe we’re just not his type.
The waves were so big at the beach today they literally washed me away. But I floated back to shore eventually.
I saw a woman sun tanning at the beach who was clearly overdoing it. She was burnt to a crisp.
My friend got pinched by a crab at the beach. I told him next time don’t be so shellfish with your food.
Beach One-Liners (30)
Don’t lie out too long at the beach, or you might just get grilled.
I went to the beach and saw a band playing music. It was a jam session.
My shoulders got red at the beach. It was sunsational.
I made sand angels at the beach. It was heavenly.
Don’t fall asleep on a floatie at the beach, or you might just drift away.
A day at the beach always makes me feel sandy-tional.
The beach provides an ocean of possibilities.
Make sure to re-apply sunscreen often at the beach or you’ll end up burnt to a crisp.
I got caught in a riptide at the beach today. It swept me off my feet.
The beach is a shore thing when you need to unwind.
My shoulders are redder than a lobster after a day at the beach.
The sand at the beach was scorching hot – my feet were literally on fire.
Don’t drink the ocean water at the beach, it’s full of crabs.
I saw people playing guitars at the beach today – it was bands on the run.
My shoulders are crispy after getting roasted at the beach all day.
The waves at the beach today were straight fire.
I got caught in a vicious riptide at the beach. It was a whirlpool of emotions.
Don’t fall asleep on your towel at the beach or you’ll end up well-done.
We played a serious game of beach volleyball today – the competition was fierce.
I saw people parasailing at the beach today – they were straight up soaring.
The sun at the beach today was sweltering – it just about fried us to a crisp.
We built an awesome sandcastle at the beach today until the tide washed it away.
Watch out for jellyfish in the water at the beach, their stings are no joke.
The waves at the beach were monstrous today – it was a tidal wave of fun.
We played volleyball at the beach and I ended up diving straight into the sand – totally wiped out.
Don’t forget to reapply sunscreen at the beach or you’ll burn faster than a piping hot skillet.
The beach is like an oceanic all-you-can-eat buffet of fun in the sun.
Make sure to stay hydrated at the beach or the sun will dry you out in no time.
We rode the waves hardcore today – it was a total beach bash bonanza.
Beach days are the shore-fire cure for the summertime blues.
Best Beach Jokes (44)
Three friends were at the beach when a genie suddenly appeared. “I will grant each of you one wish,” said the genie. The first friend immediately shouted, “I want to be rich!” Poof, he was holding a bag of money. The second friend excitedly yelled, “I want to be beautiful!” Poof, she turned into a supermodel. The third friend thought for a moment and said, “I want my friends back.”
Why did the crab never share his food? Because he was shellfish!
What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hareline.
My friend got buried neck-deep in sand at the beach by his buddies while he was sleeping. When he woke up and realized what happened, he was absolutely livid. I guess he just needed some time to sand calm and get over it.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships!
My friend tried burying me in the sand at the beach while I was taking a nap. When I woke up and saw what she had done, I was furious. But after calming down for a bit, I realized I overreacted. I guess I just needed some time to sand settle.
What do you call a pirate in the sand? A burried treasure!
I recently entered my daughter in a sand castle building competition at the beach. She wanted to make something elaborate with towers, bridges, and moats. But we didn’t have time for all that, so I told her to just make a sand-wich.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck!
My friend fell asleep on his beach towel and got sunburnt so bad he looked like a lobster. After peeling for a few days he’s okay now, but I told him next time he better wake up and smelled the coffee.
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool? Show me your mussels!
I told my son we were going to the beach today and he got so excited. But when we arrived, the beach was completely covered in snow. He gave me a sandy look and said “Dad, you said we were going to the beach!” I told him “Don’t get upset son, the beach is still there…it’s just a little chilly.”
What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time no sea!
My friend came running over to me at the beach in a panic saying she got stung by a jellyfish. I told her not to stress, we just have to find something to treat the sting. She calmed down for a minute then started freaking out again saying she thinks the jellyfish took her wallet.
I told my sister we should build a giant sandcastle at the beach today. She said she didn’t want to spend all day on that and suggested just making a small one instead. I told her ya can’t have your sandcastle and eat it too.
I tried to bury my friend up to his neck in sand at the beach today while he was napping. Turns out he sleeps really lightly though because he woke up after just a few scoops of sand and was not amused. I won’t be trying that again!
What’s the best day go to the beach? SUNday!
My shoulders are so burnt after a day at the beach. I told my mom it looks like someone painted them tomato red. She said “yes, you’re looking a little chili peppered!”
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? DAM.
I saw a woman yelling at her daughter today at the beach when she got stung by a jellyfish. She was like “I told you not to touch those!” I felt kind of bad for the girl getting stung, but I guess her mom didn’t want her doing anything fishy.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
My friend passed out drunk on the beach today in the hot sun and got such a bad sunburn. I told him “You better aloe vera self when you get home!”
Why did the jellyfish have to quit his job? He couldn’t stick with anything!
How do fish go into business? They start on a small scale.
My friend kept complaining that the water was too cold when we went to the beach. I told him to stop being such a baby and get in. He said “Stop being so shellfish, I’m freezing over here!”
What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waved.
I saw a guy get buried neck-deep in sand by his friends while he was taking a nap at the beach. When he woke up, he was mad at first but got over it pretty quickly. I guess he decided to just roll with the punches.
What’s the biggest drawback to living on the beach? The sand gets everywhere – in your shoes, clothes, bags – basically you’ll be finding sand for weeks.
My friend tried to scare away some seagulls that were eyeing our picnic food at the beach. He yelled “Shoo birds, shoo!” I said “Umm I don’t think that’s how the saying goes…”
Dad, do astronauts eat spaghetti? Yes, they eat it on their space station.
What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waived.
What is a pirates favorite letter? You’d think it be R but their first love is the C!
My friend fell asleep on the beach and got such a bad sunburn. I told him “You’re looking a little extra crispy today!”
Why do bananas not like going to the beach? Because they peel too easily in the sun!
