Surgery Puns 1. I asked my surgeon to give me a nose job, but he must have misheard me because he gave me a knows job instead! 2. My friend just had heart surgery. Now he’s feeling a lot better and says he has more heart than ever before! 3. I was feeling a little …
Random Jokes
Superman Puns What do you call a fight between Superman and Batman? A Super Smackdown! Why does Superman get invited to all the best parties? Because he’s a Super-man about town! How does Superman like his steak cooked? Just super, thanks. What did Superman say when he got kicked out of the restaurant? “Well, that’s …
Submarine Puns 1. I heard the new submarine has state-of-the-art sonar. You could say it’s quite the sound investment. 2. The submarine crew was unsure about their next mission. They decided to dive in and see where it takes them. 3. The submarine captain got frustrated trying to find a parking spot. He ended up …
Stranger Things Puns (15) 1. I heard the new season of Stranger Things takes place in the Upside Down Under. It’s full of Demogorgons trying to eat kangaroos! 2. Why was Eleven sad after finishing season 4 of Stranger Things? She had post-Hawkins depression. 3. What do you call a Demogorgon that escaped from Hawkins …
Stone Puns What do you call a crazy rock? A psycho-path! Why was the rock climber so tired? They took the stone steps. Why do stones make good politicians? They take hard stances. What do you call a stone that skips class? A skipping stone! Why did the stone get cut from the statue? It …
Stoplight Puns 1. I heard two stoplights got into an argument. Apparently it was quite the red flag. 2. What do you call it when a stoplight goes on strike? A halt sign. 3. Why was the stoplight fired from its job? It kept working, but only half-heartedly. 4. How does a stoplight stay in …
Stock Market Puns (20) 1. I wanted to invest in a hedge fund but all the good ones have been trimmed. 2. My stockbroker told me to diversify but I’m not sure how swimming will help my portfolio. 3. I asked my friend how his stocks were doing and he said, “They’ve been up and …
Steven Seagal Puns 1. Steven Seagal’s movies are so predictable, you can see his plot from a mile away. 2. I heard Steven Seagal is coming out with a new energy drink. It’s called Seagal-Powered. 3. Did you hear about Steven Seagal’s new action movie set in a bakery? It’s called Knead for Speed. 4. …
Starfish Puns (15) 1. I heard starfish make terrible coffee. You could say they’re de-caf. 2. The starfish got frustrated trying to open the jam jar. I guess it needed an extra hand. 3. The starfish band was missing their drummer before the big show. They needed someone to keep the beat. 4. I was …
Starbucks Puns (25) I wanted to buy some ground coffee but the barista said it was only available in beans. That’s too bad, I was hoping to read up on the latest grinds. Working at Starbucks has its perks but you really have to learn the ins and outs of coffee. Otherwise you’ll end up …