Feather Puns 1. I bought some new pillows stuffed with feathers, but they turned out to be a downer. 2. My friend got angry when I put a feather in his hat. I guess I ruffled his feathers. 3. Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the pillow factory? He was caught …
Steven Davis
Chuck Norris Puns 1. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is. 2. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 3. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits. 4. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the …
Stone Puns What do you call a crazy rock? A psycho-path! Why was the rock climber so tired? They took the stone steps. Why do stones make good politicians? They take hard stances. What do you call a stone that skips class? A skipping stone! Why did the stone get cut from the statue? It …
Sofa King Puns (15) 1. I wanted to buy a new sofa but I didn’t have enough cash. I guess I’m just sofa king poor! 2. I spilled wine all over my white sofa. Now it’s more of a sofa king red! 3. My friend brought over his new girlfriend and she sat on my …
Scream Puns (15) 1. I was so startled when my friend jumped out to scare me that I let out a blood curdling scream. 2. The haunted house was so scary it made me scream until I was blue in the face. 3. I got caught watching the new Scream movie at work and had …
Platypus Puns 1. What do you call a platypus that plays the piano? A platy-pianist! 2. Why don’t platypuses ever win races? They’re always bill-hind! 3. What do you call a grumpy platypus? A pouty-pus! 4. How does a platypus groom itself? With a duckbill and pawyer! 5. Why don’t platypuses wear shoes? They have …
Paddle Ball Puns 1. I was going to make a joke about paddle balls, but decided to volley it back and forth a bit more before serving it up. 2. My friend got hit in the face by a paddle ball and said “I’m pretty bummed about my black eye.” I told him “Don’t worry, …
Onion Puns 1. I was going to tell an onion joke, but it would just make you cry. 2. What do you call an onion that makes you cry with laughter? A funyon! 3. Why don’t onions ever get invited to parties? They bring tears to your eyes. 4. Why did the onion win first …
Camel Puns 1. What do you call a camel that likes to eat spicy food? A jalapeño humpper! 2. Why don’t camels like hot weather? Because they’ll get a heat rash! 3. How do camels stay connected in the desert? They use their dune phones! 4. Why do camels walk in single file lines? So …
Tea Puns 1. I’m very down to earth and grounded, you might even call me tea-rrestrial. 2. Want to hear a joke about tea? Aw shucks, it’s too cheesy. 3. What do you call tea that throws temper tantrums? Green tea. 4. My friend got fired from the tea factory for stealing. I can’t believe …