North Pole Puns (15) 1. I heard Santa Claus bought a summer home. It was quite the North Pole opposite! 2. What do you call an elf who sings soul music? An R&B elf! 3. Why was the snowman looking in the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose! 4. How do elves greet …
Donald Ward
Shark Puns (10) What do you call a shark who loves to read books? A bookworm! Why don’t sharks like fast food? They prefer meals to go slowly. How do sharks communicate? With dorsal phones! Why did the shark cross the road? To get to the other tide! What happens when a shark misses the …
Caramel Puns 1. What do you call a sticky, sweet candy? A caramel cling-on! 2. Why was the caramel sad? It felt crummy. 3. How did the caramel cross the road? It was traffic jam. 4. What do you call a melted caramel that’s been left in the sun? A caramel corpse. 5. Why don’t …
Water Puns 1. I wanted to make my water glass look fancy, so I added some H2Ohhh. 2. Why was the lake so popular? It had a lot of water under the bridge. 3. The band wasn’t sure about playing at the water park. But they decided to just go with the flow. 4. The …
Oatmeal Puns (15) I wanted to make my oatmeal more exciting, so I added some raisins. Now it’s oatmeal raisin’! My friend was bragging about eating oatmeal every day. I told him not to be so oaty about it. I entered my oatmeal recipe in a cooking contest. It didn’t win first prize, but it …
Mango Puns (10) What do you call a mango that won’t ripen? An un-ripe mango! Why was the mango afraid to get peeled? It didn’t want to get exposed! Why did the mango cross the road? To get to the other side! How does a mango stop itself from crying? It uses will mang-o power! …
Movie Puns I heard they’re making a movie about clocks. It’s about time. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable. Did you hear about the new movie Constipation? It never came out. I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case. A thief fell in wet cement. …
Mayor Puns (10) 1. I heard the mayor was throwing a big party. It’s sure to be a mayoral event. 2. The mayor got arrested for stealing construction materials. I guess you could say he was taking public property for granite. 3. Why did the mayor get in trouble for driving recklessly? He was speed …
Manchester United Puns (15) 1. I heard Manchester United is changing their name to “The Red Devils.” I guess you could say it was a diabolical decision. 2. Why does Manchester United play so badly? They just can’t seem to soccer it to them! 3. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half …
Lottery Puns 1. I was going to buy a lottery ticket, but I didn’t want to gamble on losing my money. 2. I heard the lottery is looking for a new slogan. They should go with “You’ve gotta play to lose!” 3. I spent all my money on lottery tickets, but didn’t win anything. Now …