Scorpion Puns (15) 1. What do you call a scorpion that likes to party? A club-ion! 2. Why don’t scorpions ever get lost? They have their own in-sting-ts. 3. Why did the scorpion cross the road? To get to the other side! 4. What do you call a scorpion that has great dance moves? A …
Brian Johnson
Recycling Puns (15) I heard the city is opening a new recycling center. It sounds like it’s going to be a waste management facility. My friend got a job at the new recycling plant. He said it has its ups and downs, but the work is pretty garbage. Did you hear about the foreman at …
Pizza Puns 1. I knead to tell you a pizza joke, but it’s a little cheesy. 2. What do you call a pizza that can’t cook? An impastable! 3. Why did the pizza cross the road? To get to the other side dish. 4. What do you call a pizza that doesn’t belong to you? …
Orange Puns 1. What do you call an orange who is also a knight? Sir Cumference! 2. Why was the orange tired when it got home from work? It had a long daze. 3. I asked the orange how it was feeling. It said, “I’m peeled to meet you!” 4. What happened when the orange …
Olive Oil Puns (15) I used to work at an olive oil factory, but I got canned. Apparently I lacked the necessary skills to get a-head. My friend got fired from the olive oil factory. It was sheer bad luck, he slipped up. Working at an olive oil factory seems like a slipper-y slope. I …
Glass Puns (15) 1. I tried to make a glass pun, but it was too transparent. 2. Don’t trust atoms – they make up everything! 3. What do you call security at a glass factory? Pane patrol. 4. Why was the glass blower exhausted at the end of the day? He was blown away by …
Straw Puns 1. I tried to make a belt out of watch straps, but it was a waist of time. I guess I should have stuck with the straw idea. 2. My friend got angry when I put a straw in his drink without asking. I guess I really sucked the fun out of that …
Nuts Puns (20) What do you call nuts that have gone crazy? In-peanuts. Why did the peanut get kicked out of the bar? He was a stir-nut. How do nuts keep their skin clear? With cashew-tics. Why don’t nuts trust each other? They’re too shellfish. What’s a nut’s favorite day of the week? Fri-peanut. What …
Kitchen Puns I wanted to make French toast but I couldn’t find the pan. Now that’s a crêpe! My kitchen is so small I can cook in the bedroom and still sleep in the kitchen. I entered my casserole in a cooking competition but it fell flat. I bought way too many onions at the …
Groom Puns 1. I heard the groom got cold feet before the wedding. Luckily, his shoes were nice and toasty. 2. The groom was running late to his wedding. I guess you could say he was grooming himself to perfection. 3. Why was the groom smiling during the entire wedding ceremony? He just got engaged …