Rake Puns
1. I bought a new rake to help with the fall cleanup, but it ended up being a huge mis-rake!
2. My friend was bragging about raking faster than me. I told him not to rake me over the coals about it!
3. The landscaper started telling rake puns that were pretty corny. His jokes fell flat and no one laughed. It was truly a missed rake-tunity.
4. I entered a rake throwing contest last week but I ended up choking under the pressure. I guess I just couldn’t handle the rake-quet!
5. I was raking leaves when I accidentally stepped on the rake and got hit in the face. It was a total rake-age to my pride.
6. My neighbor asked to borrow my rake but then never returned it. What a rake-off!
7. I bought a new metal rake but it kept bending out of shape. It just didn’t have the structural in-rake-grity I was hoping for.
8. The groundskeeper was raking the leaves when he stopped to take a break. I said, “C’mon man, no time to rake and rest!”
9. I was raking leaves when I noticed my neighbor staring at me from across the fence. I yelled over “Take a picture, it’ll last longer!” He said “Don’t get your rake in a twist!”
10. My wife asked me to rake up the leaves before the party. I told her “I just don’t have the rake-sources for that right now!”
Rake One-Liners
11. I’m so bad at raking leaves I should call myself the mis-raker!
12. Don’t rake me the wrong way, but these leaves aren’t gonna clean themselves up!
13. Raking leaves is such a pane in the grass!
14. The raking was going well until I hit a rake in the road!
15. Raking leaves is no walk in the park!
16. If raking leaves was an Olympic sport, I’d be going for the bronze medal!
17. Raking leaves all day really swept me off my feet!
18. After raking all these leaves, I’m pooped!
19. Raking leaves and taking names!
20. Raking leaves is a great way to rake in some exercise!
Best Rake Jokes
21. My neighbor Bill was out raking leaves in his yard when he accidentally raked up a beehive and got stung all over. Now we just call him Rake-It Ralph.
22. I was raking leaves in my yard when I noticed my retired neighbor, Gary, staring at me from his porch. He said, “You young folks don’t know how to properly rake leaves! Why back in my day we had to rake uphill both ways in the snow!” I just smiled and waved as he yelled, “Let me show you how it’s done!” Gary marched over, grabbed the rake from me and immediately threw out his back. I had to call an ambulance to come get him! Now we all tease him about “the great rake-off of 2022”.
23. My brother decided to rake up all the leaves in the yard into one massive pile and then jump into it from the roof. Hemisjudged the distance and ended up breaking his arm on the landing. My mom grounded him for a month but we still call him Rake-Man Steve to this day.
24. I was raking leaves last fall when I noticed a $20 bill buried in the pile. As I bent over to pick it up, my pants split down the backside right as the mailman was walking by. I didn’t live that one down until springtime!
25. One time I put on a ghillie suit and hid in a pile of leaves in my front yard. When my neighbor started raking them up, I jumped out and scared him silly! He screamed like a little girl and now refuses to rake any leaves near my property.
26. During the neighborhood raking competition, my friend Dave tried to rake faster by attaching a motor and fan to his rake to blow the leaves into piles quicker. It worked great until the makeshift motor exploded, destroying the rake and covering Dave in debris. He’s since been nicknamed “Rakin’ Dave the Rave”!
27. I once saw an overeager landscaper attempt to rake up a huge pile of wet leaves and branches. He ended up just spinning his wheels for an hour, getting more and more tired while the pile stayed put. In the end, he gave up and we dubbed it “the endless rake”.
28. Last fall, my neighbor’s golden retriever grabbed one of my rakes and proceeded to prance around the yard flinging leaves everywhere. We tried to catch him but he was having too much fun, so now we just call him “Rake-n-Roll Reggie.”
29. During a fall cleanup I tried to show off by raking a huge pile of leaves with a single push. I threw out my back and the pile barely moved. Now the neighborhood kids call me “Lame Rake James”!
30. One time I raked all the leaves on my property into one gargantuan pile as tall as my house. My neighbor got so mad she called the home owners association who made me remove it. I still think of it as my greatest raking achievement though!
31. Last fall my rake got stuck on a branch halfway through cleaning up my yard and the handle smacked me right in the face when it finally came loose. My buddies now affectionately call me “Black Rake Jack” thanks to my not-so-subtle shiner!
32. During a neighborhood rake-off I tried to save time by tying a rake to each foot and skating around the yard. I face-planted spectacularly just as my crush walked by. She lovingly dubbed me “Calamity Rake” after that stunt!
33. One Halloween I decided to dress up as a mischievous rake monster to prank my neighbor. I snuck into his yard only to have him chase me for blocks swinging a real rake and yelling “Get out of here you darn rake!” He didn’t appreciate the humor like I hoped.
34. Last fall I slipped on a rake while cleaning up my yard and landed right on the handle. Let’s just say I made quite the impression on the neighborhood kids who now call me “Rake Butt Billy”!
35. I once used a giant leaf blower contraption to gather all the leaves in my yard into one spot. My overconfidence led to the machine malfunctioning and blasting debris all over me and my formerly clean yard. My wife jokingly called me “Rake-nado Rex” for weeks!
36. One autumn I stacked piles of leaves under several rakes and rigged them up as traps to prank my roommate. I forgot about them later and ended up stepping into my own trap, whacking myself in the face with the handle. He christened me “Rake Face Jake” after that debacle!
