Salt Puns (10)
- What do you call a salt shaker that’s always getting beat up on his way to and from work? A Mugly Salt.
- Why did the hipster add Himalayan salt to her coffee? For the full brough experience.
- What do you call it when sodium chloride gets knighted? Sir Salt.
- Why was the salt at the party sitting alone in the corner? It was sodium bored.
- What did the salty snacks say at the party? Let’s get this shindig poppin’!
- Why did the salt cross the road? It was sodium good at following directions.
- How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
- What do you call an uptight, angry molecule of sodium chloride? NaCl.
- Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything!
- What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of chlorine? NaCl NaCl.
Salt One-Liners (10)
- I’m so salty about losing the game last night I could fill a shaker.
- She has more salt than the Dead Sea.
- He’s so salty, you’d think he fell into a vat of Mrs. Dash.
- Being salty is no way to go through life, my friend.
- Don’t be salty just because I’m seasoned and you’re not.
- Maybe if you weren’t so salty, you’d attract more friends.
- Girl, you’re saltier than Lot’s wife right now.
- His salt levels are higher than his IQ.
- She’s got more salt than a bag of pretzels.
- You’re saltier than the fries at the bottom of the bag.
Best Salt Jokes (27)
1. Why did the Morton Salt girl get arrested? For assault and battery.
2. What did the sodium atom say to the chlorine atom? “I think we make a great pair!”
3. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it. We cannoli do so much. Send pasta condolences.
4. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
5. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
6. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
7. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
8. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
9. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
10. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
11. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
12. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!
13. I heard there was a new store called Moderation that just opened up. They have everything there!
14. My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
15. The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhh.
17. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
18. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
19. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
20. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.
21. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
22. I went to buy some camouflage pants yesterday but couldn’t find any.
23. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1
24. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
25. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
26. I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.
27. Someone stole my baguette. I will get breadtribution.
