Monkeys Puns (12)
1. What do you call a monkey who loves bananas? A chimp-off-the-old-block.
2. Why was the gorilla fired from the banana factory? He went ape and caused too much chaos.
3. Where do monkeys go for laughs? The baboonery comedy club.
4. Why don’t monkeys make good coffee? They always monkey around.
5. How do you appease an angry gorilla? Butter him up a bunch of bananas.
6. Why do monkeys make bad lifeguards? They go bananas whenever someone yells for help.
7. What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom.
8. Why do monkeys hate getting wet? It makes them go bananas.
9. What do you call a monkey who loves peanut butter? A chimp off the old block.
10. Why was the gorilla asked to leave the dinner party? His table manners were going ape.
11. What do you call a sneezing monkey? A chimp-achoo!
12. Why did the monkey’s grades suffer? He went bananas during exam week.
Monkey One-Liners (15)
13. I asked my friend the zookeeper why the monkeys were fighting, he said “they’re going ape over one another.”
14. I tried to teach my monkey basketball but he kept dropping the ball and going bananas.
15. I told my friend his new monkey tattoo looked silly, he said “don’t mock my monkey mockery.”
16. I saw a gorilla performing at the comedy club last night, his humor was pretty cheesy but he had some ape-ealing jokes.
17. My friend bought a pet monkey but had to return it because it was driving him bananas.
18. I was going to make a monkey pun but decided not to because it would just be gibbon people the wrong idea.
19. I asked my friend why he carries a monkey puppet everywhere, he said it helps him cope when life gets too grime.
20. I entered my monkey in a comedy competition but he kept throwing banana peels instead of telling jokes.
21. My friend tried to teach his pet monkey to garden but it kept uprooting plants instead of watering them.
22. I told my friend we should go see the new Planet of the Apes movie, he said he’s sick of monkeying around.
23. I caught my monkey stealing cookies again, he just can’t seem to kick his nasty snacking habits.
24. I asked the zookeeper why the monkey exhibit was closed, he said it’s because the monkeys raised too much of a ruckus.
25. I told my friend his monkey tattoo looked silly, he said don’t mock his monkey mockery.
26. The monkey grabbed my sandwich when I wasn’t looking, that primate ate food off my plate!
27. The zookeeper warned us not to get too close to the monkey cage, he didn’t want us monkeying around.
Best Monkey Jokes (37)
28. A zookeeper noticed the lonely monkey was feeling depressed so he tried to cheer him up by putting in some funny monkey videos. But the monkey just flung poop at the screen and the zookeeper realized you can’t teach an old primate new tricks to deal with grief.
29. A man walked into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender said, “You can’t bring that animal in here!” The man said, “But this is my seeing eye monkey.” The bartender responded, “I don’t believe you. How does a monkey help you see?” The man said, “I’ll show you.” He set a peanut on the bar and said, “Go get the peanut boy!” The monkey jumped off his shoulder, grabbed the peanut, and ate it. The man then said, “See, I told you he helps me see!”
30. What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom.
31. My friend tried to teach his pet monkey karate but it was chaos. The monkey didn’t have the chop-stick skills and kept flinging poo instead of following instructions. My friend realized you just can’t teach a new trick to an old primate.
32. A zookeeper came home to find his house a complete mess. The curtains were torn down, furniture was flipped over, and food was flung everywhere. Sitting in the middle of the chaos was the zookeeper’s pet monkey. The zookeeper frowned and said “Bad monkey!” The monkey gazed up with a devilish look in his eye and replied “Monkey see, monkey do.”
33. What’s the difference between an out of control monkey and a wet weekend? One’s a mad ape… the other’s a rainforest!
34. I told my friend I was worried about his pet monkeys’ snacking habits. He said, “I know they go bananas for sweets but I don’t want to deprive them.” I said, “Well you might have a primate evil on your hands soon.”
35. A tourist goes on a jungle safari and spots a monkey in a tree with a tin can. He asks the tour guide, “What’s that monkey doing with the tin can?” The guide says, “It’s a tin opener.” The tourist laughs thinking it’s a joke but the guide shrugs and says, “Monkeys love beans.”
36. Why don’t gorillas ever finish a game of chess? They get bored and flip the board over.
37. What do you call a lazy baby monkey? A sloth.
38. I told my friend I was worried about his pet monkey’s scary temper tantrums. He said, “Don’t worry, Kong just gets a little cranky when he needs a nap.” I said, “Buddy, you’ve got a real King Kong on your hands.”
39. I asked my friend why his pet monkey was wearing sunglasses and he said, “He’s just a cool primate trying to beat the heat.” I said, “Well his attitude looks shady to me.”
40. I saw a monkey walking down the street wearing a fancy suit. I asked him where he was going all dressed up. He said “I’m going to my monkey business job.”
41. What do you call a monkey who does karate? A chipmonk.
42. I told my friend I was worried about his misbehaving pet monkey. He said, “Relax, he’s just monkeying around.” I said, “That’s what worries me!”
43. I saw a gorilla sitting on a stool at the bar. I asked what he was doing and he said, “Just monkeying around.”
44. What do you call a monkey in a negligee? A chimp off the old block.
45. I told my friend I was worried about his cigar smoking pet monkey’s health. He said, “Don’t worry, Grodd’s just monkeying around, he doesn’t actually inhale.”
46. Why was the baby monkey crying? Because his diaper needed to be chimped.
47. What’s the monkey’s favorite snack? Chimpanzees.
48. Why couldn’t the monkey fix his motorcycle? He didn’t have the right chimp tools.
49. What do you call a monkey who got famous on YouTube? An influencer.
50. I asked my friend why he installed a trampoline in his monkey habitat at the zoo. He chuckled and said, “Just wanted to give the little critters something to chimp around with!”
51. How do you make a monkey laugh on Saturday? Tell it a joke on Friday.
52. Did you hear about the monkey who joined the downhill ski team? He went bananas!
53. Why was the baby monkey afraid of her reflection? She didn’t recognise the chimp staring back.
54. What’s a monkey’s favorite bean? A chimpichanga.
55. Why couldn’t the monkey play hide and seek? He kept going ape.
56. How do monkeys pay for things? With chimp change.
57. Did you hear about the chimpanzee who went to culinary school? He graduated with flying colors and is now a professional chimpchef.
58. What do you call a monkey wearing ear muffs and a winter hat? Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
59. I told my friend his pet monkey’s bubblegum chewing habit was out of control. He shrugged and said, “I know he goes bananas for bubblegum but I don’t have the heart to pop his bubble.”
60. What kind of plates do monkeys eat off? Chipmunk China.
61. Why was the monkey a popular social media influencer? He knew how to go viral.
62. What do you call a monkey who does tricks on a bike? A chimp on a stick.
63. I asked my friend why he was crawling around his living room eating bananas. He said, “Sorry, I was just monkeying around.”
64. What happens when you give a monkey a brain transplant? Nothing much, it just uses bigger words when it flings poo at you.