Knees Puns (12)
1. I used to be a adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee.
2. What do you call knees that belong to a ship? Anchor knees.
3. Why don’t knees ever get cold? They wear knee caps!
4. What did the right knee say to the left knee? Nothing, they just kneaded each other.
5. My friend got hit in the knee with a drink. It was a ginger ale to the knee.
6. I was going to tell a joke about knees, but I decided to patella another time.
7. Did you hear about the guy who hurt his knee? He kneaded surgery right away.
8. Why don’t knees ever get hungry? Because they’re always full of knee caps!
9. What do you call a knee that skips class? A truant patella!
10. Why was the knee voted most likely to succeed? It had a lot of knee-tial.
11. Did you hear about the knee that got promoted at work? Its kneel bent.
12. I was going to tell a joke about knees, but it was a bit of a knee-jerk reaction.
Knees One-Liners (12)
13. My knees may be weak, but at least my arms are heavy.
14. They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian…until my knees started slapping.
15. I used to adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee, now I’m a guard.
16. Don’t tell me to get on my knees, these joints weren’t made for kneeling.
17. My knees make weird noises, so I named them Snap, Crackle and Pop.
18. They say the kneebone’s connected to the…something, I forgot, my knees are shot.
19. I wanted to be on American Idol but the judges took one look at my knocking knees and said no.
20. Getting old is when your knees start to go…and your hearing starts to glow.
21. My doctor said I have bad knees, I told him, “Well that kneeds to change!”
22. Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything…except my achy knees.
23. I knew my yoga career was over when I realized I couldn’t knee anymore.
24. My knees are like my jokes – hit and miss.
Best Knee Jokes (29)
25. I went to the doctor and said, “Doctor, my knees hurt when I do this.” The doctor said “Well, don’t do that!”
26. Did you hear about the guy who takes care of knees? He’s a patella-gist!
27. Why did the police arrest the knee? It was resisting a rest!
28. Why don’t crabs share? Because they’re shellfish.
29. Did you hear about the chef that died? He pasta way.
30. I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheapskate.
31. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
32. My friend got annoyed when he found out I replaced our bathroom carpet with fake grass. He said, “You could have given me the heads-up about the astroturf!”
33. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
34. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
35. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
36. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stare.
37. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
38. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
39. I entered 10 puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
40. Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
41. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
42. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
43. How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
44. My friend thinks he’s smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
45. I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him go faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.
46. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
47. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
48. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
49. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
50. Last night I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
51. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
52. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
53. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
