84 Jokes About Croissants

Croissant Puns (18)

1. What do you call a croissant that crossed the road? A croiss-cross-ant.
2. Why was the croissant late for work? It got stuck in a jam.
3. What did the croissant say to the bagel? Donut worry, be happy!
4. What do you call a croissant that works as a private investigator? A spy roll.
5. Why are croissants so optimistic? They’re always looking on the bright side.
6. How does a croissant access the internet? With a cr-USB stick.
7. Why did the croissant win the Olympic gold medal? It was on a roll.
8. What do you call a croissant that’s been knighted? Sir Curls-a-lot.
9. Why was the croissant smiling? It was having a good dough day.
10. How do croissants stay connected? With their Wi-flaky network.
11. Why do croissants make great detectives? They’re always on the case.
12. What do you call a croissant that plays video games? A Super Smash roll.
13. Why did the croissant go to art school? To get a baking degree.
14. What do you call a croissant that likes heavy metal? A head-banger roll.
15. Where do croissants get their daily news? From their local bread-io station.
16. Why did the croissant blush? It saw a cute pie.
17. How does a croissant relax after work? By unwind-dough.
18. Why aren’t croissants ever lonely? They have each other’s butter half.

Croissant One-Liners (24)

19. I butter believe it – another burnt croissant!
20. My croissant got rejected from art school. It was too flaky.
21. Waiter, there’s a hair in my croissant! I guess you could call it a French twist.
22. I was going to make a pun about croissants, but it was a little flaky.
23. This croissant is so oily, the US wants to invade it!
24. I’d tell you a joke about croissants, but it’s a bit crusty.
25. My croissant started rapping. I guess you could say it has bars.
26. I tried to teach my croissant karate, but it didn’t have the chops.
27. This croissant is so burnt, it started speaking French!
28. I ate too many croissants and now I have pain au chocolat.
29. My croissant started breakdancing. Let’s give it a round of ap-plaws!
30. I’m so baked right now this croissant looks like a UFO.
31. This croissant is so tough, I think I chipped a tooth!
32. My croissant got a job as a reporter. It wanted to get the crust of every story.
33. I caught my croissant lying. It admitted the proof was in the pudding.
34. Help, a croissant stole my wallet! Now I’m broke with no dough.
35. My croissant tried pole dancing and really made a spectacle of itself.
36. A croissant just cut me off in traffic. How rude!
37. I saw a croissant propose to a bagel. That takes some real guts!
38. My croissant started singing opera. It has amazing flour power.
39. This croissant tastes so good, it’s like I died and went to bread heaven.
40. I saw a croissant walking down the street yelling at people. Somebody butter stop it!
41. My croissant started lecturing me about politics. It’s pretty far left.
42. This croissant is so tough, you could use it as a hockey puck!

Best Croissant Jokes (42)

43. What do you call a croissant that works as a plumber? A pipe wrench roll.
44. A croissant walked into a bar. The bartender said, “We don’t serve food here!”
45. A croissant wanted to run for president but decided against it. There was already too much loafing around in Washington.
46. Did you hear about the croissant who won the lottery? It was on a roll!
47. Why did the croissant blush when it saw the cinnamon roll? It saw a cutie pie.
48. What’s a croissant’s favorite sport? Fencing! Because they love dueling with swords.
49. How does a croissant party? It yeasts it up.
50. Why did the croissant get arrested? It was caught loafing on the job.
51. A croissant, a bagel and a muffin walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve breakfast here!”
52. Did you hear about the croissant who went to jail? They got caught bread-handed.
53. Why was the croissant fired from the bakery? It kept loafing around on the job.
54. What did the croissant say on Valentine’s Day? “Olive you dough much!”
55. Why are croissants the most entrepreneurial pastries? They’re always rolling out new business ideas.
56. What do you call a magic croissant? A poof pastry.
57. Did you hear about the croissant who became a pirate? It found its calling on the high breads.
58. Why don’t croissants believe in ghosts? They think it’s a bunch of pastry nonsense.
59. A stale croissant walked into a bar. The bartender said “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
60. What’s a croissant’s favorite mouse button? The left click.
61. Why do croissants make great scientists? They have a lab in every bite.
62. What do you get if you cross a croissant with an apple? A macaroon.
63. How does a croissant try to win an argument? With circular reasoning.
64. My croissant baked so long it turned into a piece of toast. Talk about a major plot twist!
65. I couldn’t figure out why my croissants kept disappearing. Turns out I had a flaky thief.
66. What did one croissant say to the other while baking? Boy, it’s hot in here!
67. Did you hear about the croissant who became a professional boxer? They had a killer upper crust.
68. Why couldn’t the croissant quit his job? He was caught in a vicious cycle.
69. My croissant got into swimming to stay in shape. Now it’s completely shredded.
70. What kind of shoes do croissants wear? Loafers.
71. Did you hear about the croissant who became a singer? Turns out it had some killer pipes.
72. Why did the croissant go to summer school? To pass its classes and get a batter GPA.
73. What did the croissant name his son? Chip, off the old block.
74. Why are croissants so wise? They’re bread crumb-full of knowledge.
75. My croissant tried to steal the cookie from my lunchbox. The nerve of that pastry!
76. What do you call a croissant that works on an oil rig? A petrole-yum roll.
77. How does a croissant unwind after a long day? By rolling out its yoga mat.
78. I saw two croissants playing chess today. One made an illegal move and got called out for breadking the rules.
79. What did one croissant say to the burnt croissant? Looks like someone took a tan!
80. My croissant friend got called into work on his day off. He was not filled with joy.
81. What did the croissant say on Halloween when a kid came to his door? “Trick or wheat!”
82. What do you call a smiley croissant? A grin-dough.
83. Why do croissants make great lawyers? They know how to butter up the judge and jury.