Boxing Puns
- I heard the boxing match was rigged. Apparently they were just throwing punches.
- The boxer was making comebacks left and right. His opponents couldn’t get a punch line in.
- The boxing referee kept breaking up the fighters. He said no punch lines allowed.
- The boxer kept fighting dirty. He was determined to hit below the belt.
- The boxer came up with his own signature punch. He called it the knock knock-out.
- The boxer was known for his creative moves. You never knew what punches he’d pull next.
- I asked the boxer why he became a fighter. He said it was a punch-uation to follow his dreams.
- The boxer loved trash talking before matches. He always had a punchy comeback ready.
- The boxer’s manager said he had a killer right hook. It was a real punch line.
- The boxing champion was hard to beat. He always got the last punch line.
Boxing One-Liners
- I tried boxing but couldn’t get past round one…it was knockout.
- Don’t ask me to box, my fighting skills are sub-par.
- My boxing coach told me to work on my left hook…so I went to the fishing store.
- The boxing match was quick – I threw one punch and ended up on the canvas.
- I took up boxing to learn self-defense but still can’t fight my way out of a paper bag.
- They said boxing would help relieve stress, but I still feel punchy.
- I joined a boxing league to get in shape, but I think these bruises are permanent.
- I tried boxing but couldn’t get out of the corner – kept punching myself in the face.
- My idea of boxing is punching a timecard at the end of my shift.
- I avoid boxing – the thought of getting hit in the face isn’t too a-peel-ing.
Best Boxing Jokes
11. The rookie boxer was nervous about his first fight. “Just remember to keep your guard up, move around, and go for the knockout punch,” advised his coach. The rookie nodded, stepped into the ring, put his gloves up, and started running circles around the referee yelling “Where’s the knockout punch?! Where is it?!”
12. Rocky was training hard for his next big fight. As he punched the bag, his coach cautioned “Keep your guard up Rocky!” Distracted for a moment, Rocky dropped his left hand. His coach shook his head and said “If this were a real fight you’d be knocked out cold right now! Now keep your guard up!”. Rocky nodded and raised his guard again, only to drop his right hand a moment later. The coach sighed “What did I JUST finish telling you? Raise both hands!” Rocky looked confused “But coach, you said both hands can’t be up at the same time!”
13. The boxing coach was lecturing his student. “Of all the punches, the most important is the jab. The jab sets up all your other punches and it’s the key to winning.” The student asked “But coach, how come I never see you throwing any jabs?” The coach said “Because I’m the coach, I don’t actually fight!”
14. Bill was excited for his first ever boxing match. As he sat nervously in the locker room, his trainer gave him a pep talk. “Just stick to the strategy and you’ll do great,” said the trainer. Bill nodded nervously. Minutes later he stepped into the ring, touched gloves with his opponent, and then charged out punching wildly. His trainer shrugged in dismay and sighed “Well, so much for sticking to the strategy!”
15. Rocky was superstitious and always wore his red boxing trunks when he fought. But on the day of a big match, his trunks ripped right before the opening bell. “Don’t worry Rocky, I brought an extra pair!” said his trainer. He handed Rocky some green trunks. Rocky shook his head “Thanks, but I ain’t wearing those. Everyone knows you get knocked out if you switch to green trunks in the middle of your career!”
16. The boxing referee inspected both fighters closely as they touched gloves before the opening round. He saw one fighter blink as they touched gloves. The ref stepped back and waved his arms “Foul! I’m calling the fight, this man right here just threw an illegal blink!” The fighter objected “What?! I just blinked normally!” The referee shrugged “Sorry, but I won’t have any winking in my ring.”
17. Rocky’s trainer was giving him a pep talk before a fight. “Remember stick and move, stick and move!” Rocky nodded. The bell rang and Rocky charged out swinging wildly. After Rocky lost a lopsided decision, the trainer asked what happened to sticking and moving? Rocky replied “Hey, I did stick and move! I stuck my opponent and he moved around the ring beating me up!”
18. The boxing coach’s star pupil was talented but cocky. “Coach I’m so fast, no one can touch me!” boasted the pupil. “Speed isn’t everything,” replied the coach. “The best fighters blend speed, power and technique.” Undeterred, the pupil bragged “I’m so fast I could throw 10 punches before that fly even takes off!” He pointed to a fly on the wall just as it flew away. The coach replied “Maybe so, but speed clearly isn’t helping you swat any flies.”
19. Rocky was in the gym hitting the heavy bag. With each punch he grunted loudly “Hee-yah! Take that! Hee-yah!” His trainer shook his head and said “Rocky you don’t need to make sounds when you punch. The bag doesn’t care.” Rocky shrugged and kept punching. “Hee-yah! Take that!” Punching even harder, he yelled “Adrian! Make me a sandwich!” The trainer rolled his eyes. “Alright, now you’re just doing it to annoy me.”
20. The cocky boxer kept taunting his opponent before their match. “You hit like a girl!” he teased. The other boxer just smiled patiently. Once the match started, the cocky fighter charged forward with his guard down. His opponent slipped the sloppy punch easily and knocked him out clean. As he fell to the canvas, the cocky fighter remarked “Wow you really don’t hit like a girl…”
21. Rocky was in intense training for his rematch against rival Apollo Creed. As he punched the heavy bag, his trainer noticed Rocky’s left hand dropping after every combination. “Keep that left up Rocky! Don’t drop your hand!” coached the trainer. Rocky nodded and kept punching, but 20 seconds later his left hand sagged again. The trainer yelled “What did I just say about dropping that hand?!” Rocky stopped and shrugged “Sorry, I guess I don’t have very fast hands.”
22. The scrawny man walked into the rough boxing gym and said “I want to be a fighter! Who’s the best boxer here?” A burly fighter stepped forward. “I’m the best. I’ll spar with you if you want.” “Great!” said the scrawny man. “First one to get knocked out loses?” The burly fighter nodded and they touched gloves. The scrawny man slammed a vicious hook to the body and knocked his opponent out cold. Everyone stared in shock as the scrawny man smugly said “I forgot to mention, I’m Rocky Balboa’s stunt double.”
23. Rocky was training on the heavy bag. He kept dropping his hands as he punched. His trainer scolded him “Keep those hands up Rocky! Pretend there’s a bee buzzing around your head and you have to swat it!” Rocky looked confused. “But won’t swatting make me drop my hands even more?” The trainer shook his head “You’re not supposed to actually swat Rocky! Just keep your gloves up by your face.” Rocky said “Ohhh got it coach, that makes way more sense.”
24. The cocky young fighter bragged to the boxing coach “When I see an opening, I smack it!” The coach cautioned “It’s not always wise to commit to every opening you see. Work on showing discipline and restraint.” The cocky fighter rolled his eyes “Restraint is for losers! I’m going for the knockout every time!” The coach nodded “I see. Well just be careful, because over-committing to openings can leave you exposed.”
25. Rocky was hitting the speed bag at the gym, but his timing was off and he kept missing it. His trainer said “Start slowly Rocky! Don’t punch till you see the bag coming back toward you.” Rocky kept trying but had no rhythm. Finally his trainer stepped in front of the bag to stop it. “There you go Rocky – now take your time and try hitting it.” Rocky shook his head “Nah, now it’s too easy. Where’s the challenge in that?”
26. The boastful boxer said “I’m the greatest of all time! I’m even better than Muhammad Ali!” A little boy asked “But didn’t Muhammad Ali only lose 5 fights in his whole career?” The boastful boxer scoffed “So what? I haven’t lost any fights yet!” The little boy replied “Yeah but that’s ’cause you’ve only had one fight so far, against your cousin Louis who’s an accountant.”
27. The new boxer was bragging about his skills before his first real match. “My defense is so slick, opponents won’t lay a glove on me!” Hearing this, his trainer rolled his eyes. As soon as the opening bell rang, the cocky boxer charged forward and got promptly demolished by a lightning fast combination. Picking himself off the canvas, the humbled boxer admitted “Ok, perhaps my defense still needs a little work.”
28. The overconfident boxer told his trainer “No need to worry about defense or stamina. My right hand will end every fight!” The trainer cautioned “Don’t get cocky. Relying only on power is a recipe for disaster.” But the boxer just winked “Don’t sweat it coach, no one can take my right hand shot.” In his very next fight, his opponent simply side-stepped his telegraphed right hand bomb and knocked him out with a counter left hook.
29. Rocky was hitting the mitts with his trainer. He kept dropping his left hand after throwing a right cross. The trainer said “Keep that left up Rocky! After the cross, bring it right back to your chin.” Rocky nodded and tried again but his left hand still sagged. The trainer stopped him “Think of it like this – your left glove is glued to your chin.” Rocky smiled with recognition “Ohhh ok I get it now, so the glue represents good habits!” The trainer rolled his eyes and sighed.
30. The young boxer was nervous about fighting the intimidating heavyweight champion. But his trainer reassured him “Size isn’t everything. Use your speed and he won’t be able to hit you with that big right hand.” Feeling pumped up, the young boxer entered the ring for his title shot. Within seconds, the towering champion knocked him clear out of the ring with a massive right hand bomb. As the dazed young boxer stumbled to his feet, his trainer just shrugged “Ok never mind, I completely misjudged how big that right hand was.”
31. Rocky was training for a big comeback fight against his longtime rival Apollo Creed. As he hit the heavy bag, Rocky kept turning his head away while punching. His trainer scolded “Keep your eyes on the target Rocky! Never take your eyes off your opponent during a fight.” Rocky objected “But won’t it hurt more if I see the punches coming?” The trainer just shook his head and sighed.
32. The cocky fighter loved trash talking to psyche out his opponents. At the weigh-in, he got in the other fighter’s face and taunted “I’m going to re-arrange your face pal!” The other fighter remained stone-faced until they touched gloves before the opening bell. Then he murmured “Just so you know, plastic surgeons can re-arrange faces too.” He proceeded to punish his cocky opponent for three lopsided rounds before finally knocking him out.
33. Rocky was having trouble timing his combinations on the mitts. His trainer said “Throw the jab and straight right together – jab-BAM!” Rocky tried it but kept throwing the right before the jab landed. The trainer stopped him “No Rocky, jab lands first – BAM comes after.” Rocky practiced slowly in the mirror shouting “Jab…BAM!” while punching. Suddenly he turned and decked the heavy bag with a hard right yelling “BAM! …Jab!” The trainer facepalmed and muttered “We’ve got a lot more work to do.”
34. The cocky young boxer bragged he had the fastest hands in the gym. “Oh yeah?” smirked his trainer. “Let’s see ’em then.” The young boxer started punching the air blazing fast while yelling “Look at my cat-like reflexes! Peekaboo! Peekaboo!” Just then a real cat wandered by, swatted the distracted fighter clean across the face, and sauntered away. The other fighters laughed hysterically as the humbled show-off rubbed his cheek.
35. Rocky was training hard for his rematch with Apollo Creed. As he slugged the heavy bag, his trainer cautioned “Pace yourself Rocky! You can’t throw 100% power shots the whole fight.” Rocky kept teeing off and roared “I ain’t got time to pace myself!” Suddenly he injured his hand on a thunderous haymaker. Grabbing his throbbing hand, Rocky moaned “Ok coach, you might be onto something with that pacing stuff after all.”
36. The arrogant champion sneered as he weighed in for a title defense against a rookie challenger. “I’m going to crush this clown,” he boasted to the crowd. But during the fight, the “clown” executed a perfect game plan, avoided the champion’s biggest shots, and pulled the upset victory. With an ice pack over his swollen eye, the humbled former champion admitted “I clearly underestimated my opponent’s skills and paid the price for it tonight.”
37. The grizzled old boxing trainer was lecturing his young pupil. “Son, winning fights is 20% punches and 80% avoiding getting hit.” The cocky young fighter said “That’s where you’re wrong, pops! Avoiding hits is for chumps – real men just take the punches and fire back!” The old trainer shook his head and replied “If you fight like that, you’re gonna wake up looking up at the arena lights more often than seeing your hand raised.”