Baker Puns (20)
- I knead to tell you about my new bakery puns. They’ll really rise to the occasion.
- What do you call a baker who works quickly? A whisk taker!
- Why was the baker fired from his job? He was caught loafing around.
- My friend got a job at the bakery but said he felt like he didn’t fit in. I told him to just roll with it.
- I wanted to make bread but I’m having trouble getting a loaf in the oven.
- Working at the bakery is a great job if you need some dough.
- I asked the baker if he could cut me a deal on a cake. He said the price was set in crust.
- Did you hear about the baker who was arrested? He was caught selling stolen goods.
- How does a baker start his day? With a grain of salt.
- Want to hear a joke about bread? Nevermind, it’s too corny.
- How did the hipster baker burn his bread? He set the oven to artisan.
- Why was the baker so secretive about his recipes? He kneaded the dough.
- What do you call a bakery in space? A starchip bakery.
- Why do bakers make bread early in the morning? They need time to rise.
- What do you call a lazy baker? A dough-nothing.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
- Did you hear about the baker who went on vacation? He needed some time to loaf around.
- What do you call a bakery at the North Pole? The Santa Fe Bread Company.
- Bakers always knead a little encouragement to keep going.
Baker One-Liners (20)
- I’m so baked right now, I feel like a loaf of bread.
- When life gives you flour, make bread.
- Knead a friend? Call the local bakery.
- Bread: the doughiest food there is.
- Caution: Hot buns coming through.
- Let’s toast to friendship, buttered or not.
- Loaf today, yeasted tomorrow.
- You can’t have your bread and eat it too.
- This baking job has its ups and buns.
- Hey baker, you’re looking hot – want to join my bundt club?
- Bread me up, buttercup.
- Raisin the roof since ’95.
- Cut from the same loaf.
- Here for a good crust, not a long time.
- Bake it ’til you make it.
- Knead I say more?
- Let’s get this bread.
- Loaf ya lots.
- Living my best brioche life.
- Gluten for punishment.
Best Baker Jokes (29)
1. A baker decided to branch out and open a pizza shop. It failed within the first month. He just couldn’t get the dough to rise.
2. Why was the baker annoyed when his assistant showed up late? He needed him to give a loafing hand.
3. My friend got a job at the bakery but wasn’t happy with the hours. I told him to quit complaining and just roll with it.
4. Did you hear about the baker who got arrested for stealing from his own shop? Guess he was just trying to take the cakes.
5. I wanted to tell my baking puns at the comedy club last night, but none of them got much of a rise out of the audience.
6. What do you call an angry baker? A sour dough!
7. Why do bakers make excellent mediators? They’re good at bringing warring sides to the table and helping them come to an a-greement.
8. My friend the baker is addicted to selling pastries on the black market. I keep telling him it’s a crumbing enterprise but he won’t listen.
9. Did you hear about the new bakery that uses artificial intelligence to bake bread? Apparently the loaves are kneaded by robots!
10. I asked my friend who works at the bakery if he ever takes home any unsold bread at the end of the day. He said “Only on rare occasions.”
11. Why was the hipster baker so pretentious about his sourdough bread? Because he was totally obsessed with the rise of artisan baking.
12. Why do bakers make terrible singers? They always go flat when trying to hit the high notes.
13. Did you hear about the bakery that was shut down for health code violations? Turns out they had rats in the flour.
14. My friend got fired from his job at the bakery. Turns out he was caught stealing bread and pastries every day. A clear case of taking loafs.
15. Why did the bakery start selling low-carb bread options? To appeal to more health-conscious custard buns.
16. I wanted to tell my friend all my best baking puns, but he told me to stop with the corny jokes.
17. Did you hear about the bakery that burnt to the ground? Police think it was arsonry.
18. Why do bakers make the best party guests? They’re always kneading the dough on the dance floor.
19. My friend tried to open a gluten-free bakery but it folded within a few months. Turns out there just wasn’t enough demand for his niche cupcakes.
20. Why was the bread dough all depressed? It kneaded some cheering up.
21. Did you hear about the baker who accidentally dropped a massive bag of flour on her assistant? It was a total white-out!
22. I wanted to make a baking joke, but it would’ve been pretty crumby.
23. Why did the bakery have to close for a week? It kneaded time to recover after a major oven malfunction.
24. My friend got a job decorating cakes at the new bakery in town. She says it has its ups and downs.
25. What do you call a bakery in a hospital? An ICU (I see you) Bakery!
26. Why do bakers make the best detectives? They know how to crack an eggy case.
27. Did you hear about the unsuccessful bakery that tried converting to low-carb? Their buns just didn’t sell.
28. I wanted to tell my friend a joke about a baker, but he said he didn’t want any more corny bread humor.
29. Why do bakers dislike being interrupted while kneading dough? It really gets their rolls in a twist.
