59 Hysterical Woodpecker Jokes

Woodpecker Puns (10)

1. What do you call a woodpecker who pecks out Morse code? A telepecker!
2. Why was the woodpecker hired by the hardware store? He was an expert in pecking orders.
3. How does a woodpecker keep rhythm? They use their pecker to keep the beat.
4. Why don’t woodpeckers get headaches? Because they have shock absorbers in their beaks.
5. What do you call a woodpecker that works as a spy? A woodpeckret agent.
6. How do woodpeckers communicate? They just tap into their peck-up lines.
7. Why can’t you trust a word woodpeckers say? Everything that comes out of their mouth is peck-tion.
8. What do you call a baby woodpecker? A peckling.
9. What do you call a group of woodpecker comedians? A peck of laughs.
10. What’s a woodpecker’s favorite candy? Peckerbrittle.

Woodpecker One-Liners (10)

1. I tried telling my woodpecker joke, but nobody seemed to get the peck of it.
2. A woodpecker and I were having a pecking contest, but we both ended up with a draw.
3. My woodpecker friend says he hates noisy neighbors, but all he does is peck, peck, peck!
4. I told my woodpecker he should get a quieter hobby, but he wouldn’t stop pecking away at that tree.
5. Woodpeckers may look harmless, but they’ll peck your eyes out if you’re not careful!
6. That woodpecker has been pecking at my house for days – I need to give him the peck-off!
7. I thought I had something stuck in my teeth until I realized it was just a woodpecker on my face.
8. I tried to get my woodpecker friend to stop pecking, but he just wouldn’t quit pecking cold turkey.
9. My woodpecker neighbor drives me crazy with his incessant pecking. He’s really pecking my patience!
10. That woodpecker has some serious pecking power. He can destroy a tree in no time flat!

Best Woodpecker Jokes (39)

1. What did the mother woodpecker say when her baby fell out of the nest? “Stop pecking around and get back in here!”

2. Why don’t woodpeckers get concussions? Because they have shock absorbers built into their heads.

3. How does a woodpecker get gum off its beak? It uses a de-pecker.

4. What’s the difference between a woodpecker and a lightning rod? One is designed to attract electricity, and the other just looks like it is.

5. Why did the woodpecker refuse pain medication after surgery? Because he preferred to just tough it peck out.

6. How does a woodpecker take a selfie? It uses its pecking stick.

7. What did the irritated man say to the woodpecker pecking on his house? “Stop pecking on my houck houck!”

8. Why don’t woodpeckers ever win at musical chairs? Because they stop pecking when the music stops.

9. How does a woodpecker keep its feathers looking shiny? Lots of pecking wax.

10. Why was the woodpecker having trouble using the internet? Because he couldn’t stop pecking at the computer.

11. Why do woodpeckers make bad truck drivers? Because all they know how to do is peck.

12. What’s a woodpecker’s favorite smartphone game? Peck-Man.

13. How does a woodpecker know another bird is angry? They can sense the peck in their voice.

14. Why don’t woodpeckers ever run out of pecking energy? They can always re-peck-up.

15. What’s a woodpecker’s least favorite food? Hard peckles.

16. Why was the woodpecker fired from his construction job? He did way too much pecking on the equipment.

17. How does a woodpecker keep its tree house strong? Lots of pecking reinforcement.

18. Did you hear about the woodpecker who was arrested? He was caught pecking the lock of someone’s door.

19. What do you call a woodpecker who flies upside down? A pecular pecker!

20. How does a woodpecker keep its breath fresh? Peck-a-mint gum.

21. Why do woodpeckers hate driving in traffic? Because they get stuck behind slow peckers.

22. What do you call a woodpecker that works as a cashier? A pecker checker.

23. Why was the woodpecker staring at the lugnuts? He was trying to peck a wheel.

24. What do you call a woodpecker ghost? A peck-apparition.

25. How does a woodpecker pluck its feathers? Tweepeckers.

26. Why can’t you tell a joke to two woodpeckers at once? Because then it’s a pecktic telling.

27. What do you call a woodpecker that can cut down trees extremely fast? A jackhammer pecker.

28. What do you call a woodpecker that lives at the North Pole? Peckaboo Claus.

29. What’s a woodpecker’s favorite workout? Peck-aerobics.

30. Why did the woodpecker bring bubble wrap to the party? For some harmless pecking fun.

31. How does a woodpecker stay up-to-date on current events? By watching the Daily Peck Show.

32. What did one woodpecker say to the other while pecking morse code? “Stop pecking my tree!”

33. Why are woodpeckers terrible at keeping secrets? Because everything goes in one ear and out the pecker.

34. How did the woodpecker try to steal third base? A peck and run.

35. What’s a woodpecker’s favorite TV crime drama? Peck and Order.

36. Why did the pecker cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.

37. What’s a woodpecker’s favorite cardio exercise? Peckmill training.

38. Why do woodpeckers hate the circus? Because of the clowns pecking at them.

39. What’s a woodpecker’s favorite movie? The Peckfather.