Slinky Puns (20)
1. I bought a slinky for my friend but he straightened up before I could give it to him.
2. My slinky got stiff and couldn’t walk downstairs anymore. Now it’s a no-go slink.
3. I put eyes on my slinky and named it Slinkius. Now it’s a seeing-eye toy.
4. I entered my slinky in a race but it got disqualified for taking too many coils.
5. My slinky started dating a Slinky Dog from Toy Story. They make a great coil-ple.
6. I tried to teach my slinky to fetch, but it just sprung back and forth and didn’t go anywhere.
7. My slinky fell down the stairs and had to go to the hoslinky-tal.
8. I put a saddle on my slinky and entered it in a horse race. It was a stretch but the long shot came in first by a spring.
9. My slinky decided to get buff so it started doing coil-ups at the slinky gym.
10. I caught my slinky cheating on me with another slinky. It admitted everything when I put it under a springy interrogation.
11. My slinky tried out for the role of a snake in a movie, but didn’t get the part because it was too tightly coiled.
12. I wanted to recycle my old slinky but the facility wouldn’t accept pre-coiled metal.
13. I straightened out my slinky to use it as a jump rope but it was way too long and kept tangling.
14. My slinky loved listening to heavy metal music and going to coil-certs.
15. I tried to use my slinky as a telephone cord but it was too springy and kept disconnecting my calls.
16. My slinky decided to become an acrobat so I signed it up for coil-ege gymnastics classes.
17. I caught my slinky stealing coils from other slinkies to make itself longer.
18. My slinky got injured when another slinky pushed it down the stairs. It’s going to take months to recoil.
19. I bought my slinky a trampoline so it could bounce even higher.
20. My slinky wanted to run for office but didn’t have enough coils for a presidential campaign.
Slinky One-Liners (15)
21. My slinky is so fun to play with, it really springs into action.
22. Slinkies always look relaxed because they’re so well coiled.
23. Slinkies make great pets if you want something low maintenance that doesn’t eat or poop.
24. Slinkies would make terrible shoelaces because they’re too springy.
25. Slinkies are proof that the best toys don’t need batteries.
26. Slinkies always bounce back, no matter how many times you push them down.
27. Slinkies have crazy reflexes – they react instantly when you touch them.
28. Slinkies never get tired because they run on coil power.
29. Slinkies would do great on trampolines with all their bouncing ability.
30. Slinkies are much more fun going downstairs than upstairs.
31. Slinkies make a satisfying sproing sound when you flick them.
32. Slinkies are hard to control, they have a mind of their own.
33. Slinkies could be Olympic gymnasts with their flexibility and coordination.
34. Slinkies always stick the landing when they reach the bottom of the stairs.
35. Slinkies don’t do well on escalators, the moving stairs confuse them.
Best Slinky Jokes (25)
36. My friend got stopped at airport security for trying to bring a slinky on the plane. Apparently toys that go boing are not allowed in carry-on luggage.
37. I entered my slinky in the Kentucky Derby but it lost its coil coming around the final turn.
38. My slinky wanted to be a stand up comedian but it had terrible stage fright and froze up every time I pushed it on stage.
39. I tried to cheat on a math test by writing formulas on my slinky but it kept unraveling and the teacher caught me.
40. For April Fool’s Day I replaced my sister’s slinky with a straightened out one. She was so confused when it didn’t bounce down the stairs.
41. I tried to sneak my slinky into the movie theater but it kept boinging down the aisle making too much noise. We got kicked out halfway through the film.
42. My slinky decided to go on a diet to get more coils. It started doing coil-robics every day but barely lost any weight because it was made of metal.
43. I accidentally put my slinky in the washing machine and it came out a tangled wire mess. Now it’s permanently recoiled.
44. My slinky wanted to be an actor so I got it an audition for a commercial. But as soon as the cameras started rolling, it got stage fright and froze up.
45. For my friend’s birthday I baked her a slinky cake in the shape of a coil. I couldn’t fit enough candles on it so I just put one big firework and blew it up instead.
46. I tried to use a slinky as a bungee cord and jumped off a bridge with it tied to my ankle. Unfortunately, the slinky didn’t stretch enough and I ended up taking an icy dip.
47. I hired a slinky as my personal assistant but it was completely useless at answering phones or scheduling meetings. All it did was boing up and down on my desk.
48. On Halloween I dressed my slinky up as a snake and took it trick-or-treating. No one could tell the difference and we got lots of candy.
49. My slinky wanted to be a contortionist but it got terrible cramps trying to tie itself in knots.
50. I entered my slinky in a limbo contest, and thanks to its coil dexterity, it won first place by going under the lowest bar.
51. I used a slinky as a makeshift antenna to try and get free cable. Somehow it worked and I got over 500 channels. The downside is now my remote control keeps bouncing away.
52. I accidentally washed my slinky with a red sock and now it’s pink. My macho slinky is so embarrassed it won’t even walk downstairs anymore.
53. I got bored and straightened out my slinky just to see how long it would get. Turns out it stretched over 3 miles all the way across town.
54. I tried using a slinky as a jump rope for my hamster. He bounced about two inches off the ground with each jump. The slinky almost squashed the poor guy.
55. My slinky wanted to be a singer so I taught it to coil itself around a mic stand. It turns out slinkies don’t have vocal cords and are terrible at karaoke.
56. I pretended my slinky was a snake and chased my niece around with it. I think I scared her for life – now she runs away screaming whenever she sees a coil.
57. I straightened out a slinky and used it as a fruit picker to get oranges out of tall trees. It turns out slinkies make terrible baskets and all the oranges rolled right off.
58. I tried using a slinky as a headband but it was too loose and kept sagging over my eyes. Plus it got all tangled in my hair.
59. My slinky wanted to be an internet celebrity so I made it a SlinkyTube channel. But its videos got no views since they were just 30 minutes of a slinky bouncing.
60. I wanted to use a slinky as a makeshift belt but it was way too loose. My pants almost fell down in front of the whole school before I grabbed them just in time!