Pig Puns
1. What do you call a pig who does karate? A pork chop!
2. Why did the pig want to be an actor? He wanted to ham it up on stage!
3. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede? Bacon and legs!
4. Why did the pig cross the road? To get to the mud on the other side!
5. What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig!
6. What do you call a sleeping pig? A piggy nap!
7. Why don’t pigs like driving fast cars? They don’t want to be pulled over!
8. What’s a pigs favorite kind of exercise? Hog-a!
9. Why couldn’t the pig sing happy birthday? His voice was too squeal-y!
10. Why did the pig go to the hospital? He was feeling a little oink-ish!
11. How do pigs communicate? With pig Latin of course!
12. What do you call a pig who knows karate? Pork chop!
13. Why did the police arrest the pig? He was hogging the road!
14. Why did the pig quit the band? Creative differences over hamony!
15. What do you call a pig that does magic tricks? A piggly wiggly!
Pig One-Liners
16. A pig walks into a bar and orders 15 beers – the bartender says “Wow that’s a lot of beer for one pig!”
17. What do you call a clairvoyant pig? A piggly wiggly!
18. Why don’t pigs make good dancers? They have two left feet!
19. How did the pig know karate? He was a black belt!
20. What do you call a pig who knows karate? Pork chop!
21. Why are pigs so clean? They’re always hogging the shower!
22. How do pigs get to work every day? By car-pool!
23. Why was the pig hired as a builder? He was an expert at pig construction!
24. What do you call a sad pig? A blue hog!
25. What’s a pig’s favorite dessert? Pig newton cookies!
26. What’s a pig’s least favorite type of art? Abstract hogwash!
27. Why was the pig late to work? He overswept!
28. How does a pig style his hair? With a pigtail comb!
29. Why do pigs love the beach? For a little pigly wiggly in the water!
30. What do you call a frozen pig? Porksickle!
Best Pig Jokes
31. A pig family was settling in for bed when the baby pig asked, “Mom, can you read me a bedtime story?” The mom said “Sure sweetie, which book?” The baby pig replied “The one about the big bad wolf! But this time, can you make it a happy ending where the pigs win?”
32. A pig decided to take up painting, so he could express himself creatively. He went to the art store and picked out a few brushes and some paints to get started. When the cashier rang him up, she said “That’ll be $20.” The pig was shocked and said “$20? That seems a bit steep just for some basic supplies.” The cashier replied “Well, with a pig like you, the price is always a little hogher.”
33. A pig was feeling down because he had no friends. He decided to head to the bar to meet some new people. When he arrived, he saw a group of dogs playing pool. The pig walked up and asked “Hey guys, mind if I join?” One dog turned and said “Sorry pal, no pigs allowed.” Dejected, the pig headed home. The next night, he came back to the bar dressed up in a dog costume and approached the same group playing pool. “Can I play this time?” he asked. The dogs were surprised but let him join. After a few games one dog said “You seem alright but there’s just something different about you.” The pig responded “Yeah, I’m just a little husky.”
34. A pig was driving down the highway when he saw flashing police lights in his rearview mirror. He pulled over and an officer approached his window. “Do you know why I pulled you over today?” the cop asked. “No sir, I have no idea,” replied the pig. The officer said “You were going 15 miles over the speed limit back there.” The pig was frustrated and said “Oh come on, you cops always target us pigs for no good reason!” The cop leaned in and said “You watch your mouth or else the only place you’ll be bacon is jail.”
35. A pig was feeling lonely so he decided to sign up for an online dating site. He created a profile and uploaded his best photos from the mud bath. After a few days, he landed his first date with a cute pig named Peggy. They agreed to meet at a restaurant for dinner. The date was going well until the pig tripped a waiter, getting food all over Peggy’s new dress. She stormed out angrily. The pig was embarrassed but when he went to pay the check, he noticed a note Peggy had left behind. It read “You’re cute but a total slob. Let’s do this again sometime.”
36. A pig was crossing the street when he was hit by a car and killed instantly. The driver, panic-stricken, dialed 911. When the operator answered, the man cried “Help! I just hit a pig and I think he might be dead!” The operator replied “Sir please relax. First, make sure the pig is actually dead.” After a brief pause, the operator heard a gunshot ring out. The man returned to the phone and said “Ok, now what?”
37. Why did the pig stop sun bathing at the beach? He was bacon!
38. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!
39. Why don’t pigs likes driving fast cars? They don’t want to be pulled over!
40. What do you call a sleeping pig? A piggy nap!
41. Why did the pig quit the band? Creative differences over hamony!
42. How did the pig know karate? He was a black belt!
43. What’s a pigs favorite dessert? Pig newton cookies!
44. Why are pigs so clean? They’re always hogging the shower!
45. How do pigs get to work every day? By car-pool!
46. Why was the pig hired as a builder? He was an expert at pig construction!
47. What’s a pig’s favorite type of exercise? Hog-a!
48. Why couldn’t the pig sing happy birthday? His voice was too squeal-y!
49. What do you call a sad pig? A blue hog!
50. How does a pig style his hair? With a pigtail comb!