Michael Jackson Puns (15)
1. I heard Michael Jackson’s ghost still enjoys visiting Neverland Ranch. You could say he likes to thriller there.
2. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to the police station? He wanted to try and catch the smooth criminals.
3. Michael Jackson entered an Elvis Presley lookalike contest and almost won. But the judges told him, “Don’t Be Cruel, you’re not The King!”
4. Did you hear about the new Michael Jackson biopic directed by Quentin Tarantino? It’s called Billie Jean Unchained.
5. I heard Michael Jackson was recently spotted wandering the halls of a wax museum. Be careful, that’s just how rumors get started!
6. What do you call a museum filled with Michael Jackson memorabilia? A Shamoneum!
7. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to the police station? He wanted to try and catch the smooth criminals.
8. What did Michael Jackson say when asked about his favorite metal? Ti-Hee-hee-tanium!
9. I wanted to dress up like Michael Jackson for Halloween, but all the costumes were sold out. It was a real Thriller trying to find one!
10. What’s Michael Jackson’s least favorite type of beer? Pilsner! He prefers lager beers instead.
11. Did you hear about the new documentary on Michael Jackson’s dance moves? It’s called Moon Stepping.
12. I tried to show my friend a song by Michael Jackson but accidentally played the wrong track. I guess I Don’t Care About Us Anymore.
13. What do you call a spooky Michael Jackson song? A Thriller Chiller!
14. Why did Michael Jackson get pulled over for speeding? He was going too fast on the Billie Jean Highway!
15. I wanted to be Michael Jackson for Halloween but the costume was too expensive. I guess you could say I couldn’t afford to Beat It!
Michael Jackson One-Liners (15)
16. I’m not surprised Michael Jackson named his ranch Neverland. He always was stuck in a state of perpetual childhood!
17. Michael Jackson was ahead of his time. He already knew how to wear a surgical mask in public way before COVID-19!
18. I heard Michael Jackson donated a large sum of money to build a new wing at the hospital. I guess you could say he wanted to Heal the World!
19. Don’t pay any attention to rumors that Michael Jackson faked his own death. People claim to see him all the time!
20. Michael Jackson’s music is so catchy, it should be called Jacks-onian Rhythm instead of Jacksonian Rhythm!
21. I wish I could dance like Michael Jackson, but I’d probably end up in the emergency room! That man was smooth as butter.
22. With all that fancy footwork, Michael Jackson must have gone through shoes faster than anyone!
23. Forget Uber Eats or Grub Hub, if Michael Jackson delivers your food it’s called Hee-Hee Eats!
24. Michael Jackson’s music was so revolutionary, it literally helped define genres and change pop music forever!
25. With his dazzling outfits, Michael Jackson was his own walking Broadway musical!
26. Michael Jackson was the true originator of dabbing – he was already doing it in the 80s!
27. With moves like his, no wonder Michael Jackson was crowned the King of Pop!
28. Michael Jackson made wearing one sequined glove fashionable. Who else could pull that off!
29. If Michael Jackson did online shopping, he’d use Moon-azon Prime for free shipping!
30. Michael Jackson’s music was so revolutionary, it literally helped define genres and change pop music forever!
Best Michael Jackson Jokes (30)
31. What do you call a documentary about Michael Jackson’s Marco Polo-inspired swimming pool? Marco Hee-Hee-Lo!
32. Did you hear what Michael Jackson said when the electricity went out at Neverland Ranch? He said, “Beat it, the power’s out!”
33. Why did Michael Jackson go grocery shopping so early in the morning? He wanted to beat the crowds and avoid a Thriller in the cereal aisle!
34. What did Michael Jackson say when Netflix asked him to star in a new original biopic? “Just leave me alone, I prefer Hulu!”
35. What did Michael Jackson have for breakfast? Billy Jeans with a side of Hee-Hee juice!
36. Why are Michael Jackson’s dance moves so legendary? Because when he started busting a move, there was No Way he was stopping until he nailed it!
37. What is Michael Jackson’s favorite exercise move? The moon walk, of course! He can do it for miles without stopping.
38. Why did Michael Jackson show up late for dinner at Neverland Ranch? He got stuck in L.A. traffic on the Billie Jean Freeway!
39. How does Michael Jackson prefer to send text messages? With his Hee-Hee-Phone of course! It allows him to Moonwalk and text at the same time.
40. What did Michael Jackson say when the landscapers mistakenly removed the trees at Neverland Ranch? He yelled, “Stop! Timber!”
41. Why does Michael Jackson slip into surgical masks in public? To hide his identity so fans don’t spot him and go into a Thriller frenzy!
42. Why was Michael Jackson spotted giggling near the bacon at the grocery store? Because it reminded him of “hee hee” and cracked him up!
43. Why can’t you ever lend money to Michael Jackson? Because he will keep insisting, “I just can’t stop ’til I get enough!”
44. Did you hear about the new streaming platform created just for Michael Jackson’s music? It’s called Hee-Hee-Fi!
45. I asked Michael Jackson to grab me a soda and he moonwalked right over with a delicious beverage – that man is smooth as butter!
46. What is Michael Jackson’s favorite game to play in the ballpit? Marco Hee-Hee-Lo! He pretends he’s swimming across his favorite pool.
47. Why does Michael Jackson love looking at the moon so much? Because it reminds him to practice his iconic moonwalk dance move!
48. What is Michael Jackson’s favorite Disney movie? Moonwalk with Me! It’s an imaginary film where he dances across the moon.
49. Why did Michael Jackson show up late for his concert rehearsal? He was working on new vocal riffs and lost track of time perfecting his signature “hee hees” and “oohs”!
50. How does Michael Jackson signal that he’s ready to start busting a move? He yells “Shamone!” and starts moonwalking without hesitation!
51. Why does Michael Jackson slide down his Neverland Ranch banisters so often? It allows him to practice his flawless gliding footwork!
52. What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite lunch food? A Mooncheese sandwich with Billie Jean mustard!
53. How did Michael Jackson cut his lawn so perfectly? He moonwalked in crisscrossing patterns while pushing the mower!
54. Why does Michael Jackson do his grocery shopping at midnight? To practice his dance moves up and down the empty aisles, of course!
55. Michael Jackson loves browsing at the library so he can moonwalk up and down the quiet stacks looking for new books.
56. What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? Moonwalk Eve! He stays up all night practicing dance moves for the big day.
57. Why does Michael Jackson wear one sequined glove even at the beach? In case a dance battle breaks out, so he’s prepared to bust a move!
58. What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite breakfast side? Moonwalked eggs! He moonwalks back and forth while frying them up.
59. Why did Michael Jackson show up to the zoo after closing time? He wanted to moonwalk with the penguins without any guests around to interrupt!
60. What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite TV show soundtrack? Dancing With the Moonwalkers! He practices his moves during every episode.
61. Why does Michael Jackson frequently look up at the night sky? He’s gazing for inspiration to invent new dazzling dance moves!
62. What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite place to grab a quick coffee? Moonbucks! He gets to moonwalk between the tables and chairs.
63. Why does Michael Jackson take walks in the countryside so often? All the open space allows him to practice his signature dance moves!
64. Why did Michael Jackson show up late to the museum gala? He got distracted moonwalking through all the marble hallways and sculptures!
65. What did Michael Jackson say when the power went out at Neverland Ranch? “Beat it, electricity, don’t make me moonwalk over and fix this myself!”
